If that's what you want from a relationship - support, love, care, to be a 'team' - you aren't going to get it from this man.
You keep coming back to what you've done wrong, as though his actions are your fault. They are not. They are all on him. It's who he is.
For a start - when you say you've behaved badly in the past, what do you mean? Do you mean you cheated or hit him or told lies that hurt him?
Or do you mean that you responded aggressively to his abuse of you?
Because, if it's the former, then of course he's every right to not want to be with you, and you aren't right for each other.
If it's the latter, then can you see that you aren't the problem? He started the abuse. He is abusive. You responded to that, in a bad way for sure. But you wouldn't have thrown plates at a bf who treated you well.
And if he isn't happy with you / thinks you're a bad person, why does he stay around and abuse you? If you're so bad he wouldn't still be with you. HE'S the abusive one. He has created situations when you get angry or upset, then he uses your natural emotions against you. He's convinced you that you're bad. But your descriptions of him show that he's abusive.
When you are with a good person, in a good partnership, you never have these doubts. You know where your head is. You feel calm, and loved, and wanted. You feel important to them. You want each other to be happy. You trust each other. You don't shout and criticise and abuse. It just doesn't happen.
So the situation you're in - the only logical conclusion is that he's abusive and he's enjoying bullying and controlling you. That's how abusive people are. It's impossible to understand because decent people would never act that way.
You deserve better than this vile man. You really do. A bit of distance from him and you can get your head sorted and you will start to see him for what he is. You deserve love. You deserve kindness.
I would rather be single every day, than with a man like him.