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Original poster

WWYD? Grand gestures to prove to someone that you love them

123 replies

Winorlose · 17/05/2023 16:01

I'm going to try to be deliberately vague here.

New partner doesn't believe I love him. I do.
We have both been married before, not spring chickens, I have kids, he doesn't, we live several hours apart.

He has asked me to do something that proves to him I love him. I've tried a few things but nothing seems good enough.

What would you do?

OP posts:
qqq82 · 17/05/2023 16:02

I'd dump him

rainraingoawaay · 17/05/2023 16:03

Leave.

Some random performative gesture is not showing true love imo - and if he's asking for something it's a huge red flag to me!

LookOutBandits · 17/05/2023 16:03

So would I.

Who does he think he is? The King of Siam?

PartyRings2 · 17/05/2023 16:04

Tell him to do one!
Nothing you do seems good enough? Bit of a red flag.

AnxiousShep · 17/05/2023 16:04

Leave.

Randobelia · 17/05/2023 16:04

I'd dump him and run a mile. WTF

SOBplus · 17/05/2023 16:04

No Grand gesture. I would state and commit to spending the next 100 years to showing my love is unconditional in a hundred million tiny ways. I don't think grand gestures work and someone who insists on one is ... troubled.

QuillBill · 17/05/2023 16:04

Would he like you to put your children in an orphanage? Then you could devote yourself to him. 💕

AnxiousShep · 17/05/2023 16:05

Have you posted about this waste of space recently under another name?

Frogger8395 · 17/05/2023 16:05

Get rid of this whining man baby.

HagsGlen · 17/05/2023 16:07

With pps. I’d dump him. It’s not my job to improvise ‘grand gestures’ to prove my love to some self-absorbed doubter for whom nothing I do is good enough.

How new is ‘new’? He sounds ghastly.

Or take him on a hot-air balloon trip over the Pyramids at sunset to dump him?

savoycabbage · 17/05/2023 16:08

Just reading the OP irritated me.

He has asked me to do something that proves to him I love him. I've tried a few things but nothing seems good enough.

Dick head.

I knew I loved my dh when we were on the tube and I said I needed the toilet and he said let's get off then and find one. So we did.

Original poster
Winorlose · 17/05/2023 16:08

I am being deliberately vague but there is a lot more to it than that. And he has a genuine reason for thinking i don't love him.

I know I could just dump him bit he is an amazing man and I don't want to.

I just need some inspiration!

OP posts:
LookOutBandits · 17/05/2023 16:09

So, you've done something wrong and now you must prove that you love him?

RobertsRadio · 17/05/2023 16:10

I cannot imagine ever asking someone I care about to prove their love with some grand gesture and then telling them their efforts were not good enough. This is very weird behaviour expecting you to constantly make him feel loved and I would walk away, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who asked me to do this, it's just batshit.

Original poster
Winorlose · 17/05/2023 16:11

LookOutBandits · 17/05/2023 16:09

So, you've done something wrong and now you must prove that you love him?

Yes, exactly.

OP posts:
SOBplus · 17/05/2023 16:12

"if you doubt my love, I can only demonstrate it by being here 10 years from now and then 10 years more and again and again; anything I buy or do will only show comittment/love for a moment, the rest of my time on earth is my eternal demonstration".

Original poster
Winorlose · 17/05/2023 16:12

AnxiousShep · 17/05/2023 16:05

Have you posted about this waste of space recently under another name?

No, this is the first time I've spoken about him, though I have name changed today as I didn't want to be identified from previous posts.

OP posts:
Notonthestairs · 17/05/2023 16:13

Being decent and loyal and then hoping for the best is what works for most people.

What did you do wrong?

LittleBrenda · 17/05/2023 16:14

What did you do?

To me, you either take someone back or you don't. You don't get to take them back but hold it over their head.

Original poster
Winorlose · 17/05/2023 16:14

HagsGlen · 17/05/2023 16:07

With pps. I’d dump him. It’s not my job to improvise ‘grand gestures’ to prove my love to some self-absorbed doubter for whom nothing I do is good enough.

How new is ‘new’? He sounds ghastly.

Or take him on a hot-air balloon trip over the Pyramids at sunset to dump him?

We've been together less than 6 months

OP posts:
savoycabbage · 17/05/2023 16:15

Six months!

Just move on. This is not going to work.

Original poster
Winorlose · 17/05/2023 16:15

LittleBrenda · 17/05/2023 16:14

What did you do?

To me, you either take someone back or you don't. You don't get to take them back but hold it over their head.

Suffice to say it was bad. I lied about something major and now he doesn't believe me about anything.

OP posts:
MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 17/05/2023 16:15

So you make some grand gesture....then that still isn't enough and you've got to make an even grander gesture and then that still isn't enough....sounds exhausting and futile, frankly.

Thelobsterisinthejar · 17/05/2023 16:16

qqq82 · 17/05/2023 16:02

I'd dump him

This👆