Help me get my head round sexting

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Two people fancy each other, perhaps say flirting at work/in a social setting, take each others contact info....then randomly go on to send explicit sex chat and pics of their body parts to each other by phone/ social media etc even before a date or being in an established relationship?

Why, just why and is this an age thing such as under 40's?

Because it's fun, and harmless. If both consent....then why not?

No one is making you do it?

I'm not judging, just trying to understand. In a trusted secure long term relationship fine, but would I send Bill in the next office or Ted across the bar in the local pub pics of my body, merely cos I fancied them? My question is really who usually initiates the explicit pics, obviously leading on from suggestive/texts? What happens if one or other misinterprete the depth of these texts and do people other than perverts really send dick/fanny pics to almost total strangers without worrying about possible repercussions at a later date?

Do women ever send unsolicited tit or vulva pics? I doubt it.

Do men send unsolicited dick pics? All the time.

Never got sexting either, seems weird and boring to me

You absolutely are judging hence the 'why but why' comment.

Either party can initiate.

Dickhead men do send dick pics. They often get blocked. Women - going by what I know - tend to send more suggestive pics. What do you mean about repercussions - others sharing pics? Anyone with half a brain wouldn't include their face in pics.

And why do people do it? I guess they enjoy it. It's not that deep.

"Why do people do this fun* and exciting thing?" I scream indignantly at the sky. There is not answer, only silence.

*If everyone is into it

Judging and Proud. It's juvenile and ridiculous.

In my experience...

My question is really who usually initiates the explicit pics, obviously leading on from suggestive/texts? Either party, really.

What happens if one or other misinterprete the depth of these texts If you mean, initiate sexting when it's not wanted, that sometimes happens but usually you can tell quite reliably if it's heading that way.

do people other than perverts really send dick/fanny pics to almost total strangers without worrying about possible repercussions at a later date? Yes. Is it 'perverted'? It's not out of the realms of 'ordinary' sexuality - people who are sexually attracted to each other doing something to turn the other person on.

The possible repercussions, obviously, are quite big, but it's also not that unusual in my experience (including in the over 40s).

It's just a conversation, OP, that goes down a path that your conversations wouldn't. Why do you need to understand?

@Barstools123 'why but why' comment is through lack of understanding and exasperation as to why someone would do something like that, similar to 'why but why did he walk in front of the no 9 bus as it went by' so not being judgie at all.

I can understand sexting between long term relationship/established married couple, where a massive amount of trust has been built over time but not between people who barely know each other.

As for faces not being in sexually explicit pics, even when shared with 3rd parties the sender's phone number/ name can be included in the pic/screen shot.

I was curious if sexting was as a result of our constant need for instant gratification and titillation these days. Perhaps 50 years ago it took 6 mths or possibly not even before marriage, to get to the same level of intimacy in a relationship.

My other question is, do women get as much enjoyment from it as men? Would anyone secretly like to receive dick pics if they fancy the bloke? Would it put you off if his pic was rather disappointing, bit of a let down?

I'm 65 and can't think of anyone 20 years either side of my age that would do this. 🤔🙄

Perhaps 50 years ago it took 6 mths or possibly not even before marriage, to get to the same level of intimacy in a relationship.

And years ago it was heavily frowned upon for women to be alone in a room with a man she wasn't married to. Times change.

Sexting can be flirty, fun, and it can be a real turn on seeing a message like that come on your screen when it's unexpected and you're somewhere you have to maintain a neutral face, like an office. Sexy [invited] pics can be a real thrill and make you hungry to see that person. If you haven't yet slept together, it can be a great prelude to the event itself.

Yes, it's not just men.
And I'm mid-40s.

Someone might consent to send their naked picture to Jack, but what if Jack sends it to Tom and Harry? That's not fun nor is it harmless.

People do it because they like it. There's no requirement for you to understand why they do it.

I don't understand why people like motor-racing, and I doubt they'd be able to explain to me what it is that makes it so appealing in a way that would make it appeal to me.

It's a natural progression from a conversation where things get sexual. People say what they would like to do to each other, sometimes they send or receive pics. Sometimes they masturbate while having the sexy conversation. It's about sexual arousal, there's not much more to it. If that's not your thing, then that's absolutely fine but I'm not sure why you find it hard to understand why people like it.

Some people like taking risks. Others don’t.

Im not sure why men think that women will go crazy over an unsolicited dick pic but if the rapport has been built and it’s getting flirty then I can see why it may lead this way.

Always have preferred a money shot video over a dick pic personally🤷‍♀️

All my life I have been aware that women often (not always but often) go along with men's sexual wants for the sake of peace, because they think they should, because they think everyone else does or because they are worried men will think they are boring or frigid if they don't. Pretty sure sexting is another one of those.

In my experience - and I do imagine there are probably women who actually do enjoy it - it's one of those things that women feel pressured into doing for men, especially when young. A lot like how a lot of women feel like they have to have sex without condoms because men don't like them.

I haven't personally known it to be a positive thing between two people who are equally into it.

And no I would not enjoy getting a dick pic.

Yes, this.

I’ve only received one “dick pic” I wouldn’t have been aroused even if he’d have taken the time to wash the fucker.

@aSofaNearYou Snap!

It can be a huge amount of fun and very sexy if you are attracted to the other person, and no, you don't need to have an emotional connection.

I don't get the sequence of events either. For me, the logical way is sex first, then pictures. The pictures actually seem more initimate (basically because I have to trust him that he won't pass it round his mates!).

I am not saying doing it opposite way around is wrong, just that I wouldn't.