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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

He hit me

115 replies

Lostmum476 · 15/05/2023 21:37

I can't believe what I'm writing. We just had a baby together, 12 weeks old. I've kicked him out, I feel so broken. We went out for the first time since having the baby and he accused me of chatting to men in the club, I was not. We got home and got into a heated argument about it and he punched me in the face twice. My eye is swollen and face hurts. I can barely cope

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 15/05/2023 21:40

If you do nothing else please take photos of your injuries. Are you up to calling the police?

savethatkitty · 15/05/2023 21:42

I'm sorry this has happened. Please stay strong & do not let him back in. File a police report & end this relationship.

Songlines · 15/05/2023 21:42

^this. Please make sure that you've taken photos, email them to yourself, and do the same tomorrow as bruises are likely to develop overnight.
Do you have anyone who can be with you tonight?

Original poster
Lostmum476 · 15/05/2023 21:43

I've taken pictures. I didn't call the police, I don't think I will. I know what he did was wrong but I don't want to get him into trouble

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostmum476 · 15/05/2023 21:44

No, it's just me and the baby.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 15/05/2023 21:45

You need to report it, to help your case if it happens again, and inform your HV.

fetchacloth · 15/05/2023 21:45

Lostmum476 · 15/05/2023 21:43

I've taken pictures. I didn't call the police, I don't think I will. I know what he did was wrong but I don't want to get him into trouble

He should be in a lot of trouble and you should call the police.

Lesina · 15/05/2023 21:46

Please call the police. You have been assaulted. Is there anyone you can call? You shouldn’t be on your own. I’m so sorry tíos has happened to you. Please reach out to
someone.

StopMindlesslyScrolling · 15/05/2023 21:47

If he can hit a woman, he can hit a baby and one punch could kill your child.

Please call the police now and never let this man near you or your child again.

Songlines · 15/05/2023 21:47

Please think carefully about how you can keep the baby safe. What will happen if he comes back tonight?

lupinlapain · 15/05/2023 21:49

Please consider reporting this to the police.
Domestic violence often escalates after the birth of a child.
Keep yourself and your baby safe.

Whatthejeffisgoingon · 15/05/2023 21:49

oh op. Firstly, I’m so sorry this has happened. You have done nothing wrong. This is NOT your fault.
Do you feel safe where you are?
If you are able, lock all the doors from the inside withthe key in so he can’t get back in.
You need to block him on any and all contact mediums, he will try and worm his way out of this.
Do you have a parent or close friend you can call who can come over and look after you and the baby so you’re not alone tonight?

BarryK3nt · 15/05/2023 21:49

He can’t just go round thinking it’s acceptable punching people in the face. You really should call the police, and it doesn’t matter even if you were talking to other men.

Fladdermus · 15/05/2023 21:50

You need to report it so that you have concrete undeniable evidence of his violence for when he tries to get unsupervised access to your tiny baby.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/05/2023 21:50

Lostmum476 · 15/05/2023 21:43

I've taken pictures. I didn't call the police, I don't think I will. I know what he did was wrong but I don't want to get him into trouble

Op, he NEEDS to get into trouble. You must report this to protect you and your baby. There is absolutely no coming back from this and you need to protect yourself.

Sheepsheepeverywhere · 15/05/2023 21:51

Unless you build a case up against him op are you going to feel as sorry for your dc when you have to hand it over when he gets unsupervised access?

Eyesopenwideawake · 15/05/2023 21:51

You're in shock, take your time. Is there anyone close by - family or friends - who can come and sit with you?

Original poster
Lostmum476 · 15/05/2023 21:51

I've got family and they know what happened but no one would come and stay with me. They all have work in the morning so I don't want to be a burden to anyone. The house is a mess, all I've done today is take care of the baby. I feel very low. The baby's sleeping now, he will be till about 4am. I've ordered a bottle of wine which I decided wasn't a good idea. I'm just sitting here in silence

OP posts:
Thedevil666 · 15/05/2023 21:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 15/05/2023 21:52

Call women’s aid for advice about keeping yourself and daughter safe, you need to make a plan to leave safely as it’s a dangerous time- don’t tell him, just do it secretly when you are ready. Please let a family member or friend know what happened. Although he will try to blame you it is NOT YOUR FAULT YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. Xx

Whatthejeffisgoingon · 15/05/2023 21:53

Also, the pictures you have taken, can you send them to somoene you trust? Someone you can tell about this. After the shock and anger have worn off you might find yourself trying to rationalise whats happened and minimalise it…not because there is anything wrong with you, but because this is the pattern of abuse. It would be good for you to have someone you know to reinforce to you that this is not ok. In any way!

Original poster
Lostmum476 · 15/05/2023 21:53

I feel safe, I know he won't come back. His key is here. If he does, I'll call the police. I'm in shock and heartbroken at the same time, I know I have to be strong and I would never get back with it now I know he's capable of that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostmum476 · 15/05/2023 21:55

I've sent the pictures to my sister. My family are aware.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostmum476 · 15/05/2023 21:56

Thank you all for your support

OP posts:
calmandcaffeinated · 15/05/2023 21:57

OP, you are likely in shock. Make sure you have a plan for the next 24 hours. Is anyone able to have you stay for that time? Or could you go to DM refuse? There are always people to help- and don't think you're a burden, EVER.

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