Summer is going to be great for OLDaters and friends

[PinkIdentity]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

LittleFloatingGhost hi lovely,I'm good thanks, how are you?

I'm doing these mindfulness zoom sessions today so I'm feeling all... 'Let's be kind'

Sending hugs to all those who need them today. 5 kids and no relationship... Run!
@qqq82 As for being forward, that's me. Sex is important to me. If I don't feel the guy is confident enough for me it won't work. Well done for being patient, I'm sure it will be great.

The bumble speed dating was a waste of time last night.
I am so grumpy today. Been chatting to Mr Lift. Seemed to be going ok. Made the mistake of asking if he has a physical type. He said he likes fuller figure. I'm a size 10 😳 with curves. apparently he liked what he saw in my pics. It's given me the ick. Also the fact he's only posted photos of his face makes me think he is not as gym fit as I hoped. I'm probably being harsh but not feeling it. Doesn't have a proper job either. Unmatched.

Well had a productive day across Bumble and FB dating and got 3 chats on the go and all seem normal so far - but we know how that usually ends up

Im off to a music festival tomorrow with around 12000 people so who knows, there could be some decent men there. I’ll keep my eyes open 🤣🤣

Best of luck SamW!!
Very exciting, I'd love to meet someone face to face!

Even face to face I meet wronguns lol.

Met a guy in pub a couple of months back who bombarded me with texts and photos of himself on first 24 hours then called me worried because I hadn’t replied - all by about 4pm on Monday ffs. Errrr I’m at work

Then after I told him I felt bombarded he sent me an essay telling me I was wrong - followed by another backing up the first one. Then a third message the next morning telling me i got him wrong - each of these messages approx the length of war and peace 🤣🤣

@NervesOfCotton Haha! Love it. I am doing well and all good on the dating front with Music (but still playing it safe and trying not to be too invested 😅😂😂).

@Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse I am not surprised you unmatched. If someone gives you the ick before meeting, that’s a blessing (but also annoying). Sorry the speed dating was crap too!

@SamW98 bloody hell. Not doing themselves any favours there!

SamW98

yeah my real life crushes have been

married
married
married
married
married
and , married !

its no wonder I went online

Ok and one I’ve been exchanging friendly getting to know you messages with all day has just sent a photo of himself in the bath with bubbles covering his vital bits - why does this keep happening to me? 😫

Where on earth are you all finding these princes?? I mean, I know I have only managed to find men who are emotionally unavailable, married, just after sex, or look nothing like their photos so far online, but I have NEVER had the level of inappropriateness that you are finding 😂😂

You’re welcome to them 🤣🤣 honestly this is becoming a pattern. Nice normal friendly chat then either a photo with bits barely covered or a straight in with the sex talk. Honestly I’ve looked at my profile and there’s nothing that would even hint at me being gagging for a dick pic so I’m baffled 🤣🤣

I get these too!

You are right to think that way @Thisisworsethananticpated, you know what you want now.
We are back on track, have had a lovely few weeks. That said we have a busy 2 weeks ahead where time together will be limited due to commitments on both parts. I'm really trying to be more relaxed because I'm confident of his feelings for me so I know time will come.
My daughter is 18 next weekend and my exh, her dad, has swooped in just this week and persuaded her to have a party at home. I'm trying to hold my tongue but am finding it hard. My partner seems a bit anxious about it as he can't attend due to other commitments. Could be an interesting week or so ahead.

...I would throw back, sorry. A man not in the life of his kids, physically, emotionally and financially would be a no from me.

@NervesOfCotton it's not so much he has 5 kids though it's a lot! It's that he's not present much in their lives. That's actually one of my easiest red flags to spot. He's paying because he has to, yet either he isn't interested in seeing them or perhaps not allowed to....

I know, Meepme, I don't know why I even questioned it tbh, I mean he did tell me why contact is as it is but I just didn't believe him.

LuckyLinda I hope the next 2 weeks go smoothly for you all!

Mapleunicorn It's a gift! I'd you want inappropriateness/awfulness then just come to me because they flock to me

SamW98 So disappointing isn't it. It's like they reel you in but can't keep up the pretence any longer (already!)

LittleFloatingGhost Yay Mr Music!

I hope everybody has a lovely weekend, we've also got our towns big music festival on Sunday. I won't meet anybody there though, although I remember last time one of the men working the bouncy castle was lovely eye-candy

Crikey, is it the weather drawing all the sex pests out 🤔 I suppose they're showing themselves quickly so you can unmatch though.

I haven't been swiping. Got 1 iron left I'm chatting with and due to meet Monday evening. I'm not sure whether I need a break or to just give up to be honest. I'm starting to think it's knocking my minimal confidence. I also have a busy couple of weeks coming up so not much freetime anyway.

But bumble made me laugh - it has some charity thing linked to it where you get to pick the cause they donate to. Anyway in the message they sent me they informed me that in my 4 years on there I have "made 185 first moves" aka messaged 185 irons after matching 😱😆 surely that can't be right 🤔😆

Morning all!

I deleted Mr Absent. He hasn't messaged in 2 weeks. If I message him he will reply but no conversation, so definitely not ghosting, but it just shows he's not putting in the effort or the thought, and if this is how he is 3/4 months in, imagine what he'll be like years in. My friends think I'm being unfair but marriage 1 shows me I need to be firmer not softer. I'm back on on the apps now.

CheesecakeAddict

i think you are making the right call and I hope your ok with it all

its very hard to know sometimes what the right decision is - so go with your gut

Slothmomma

im def pausing
my confidence isn’t dented but my confidence in my judgement and ability to set boundaries is

you always have monday dates !

LuckyLinda3

good ! I hope this can continue

happy 18 to little Linda !

@Thisisworsethananticpated I feel oddly neutral about it. I think because he's put so little effort in he just hadn't had enough of an impact on my life to matter.

Have you considered having therapy working towards your boundaries?

Aw thanks @NervesOfCotton and @Thisisworsethananticpated. Hope you have a lovely weekend.

Yes I hope everyone has a lovely weekend.
I have no further dates planned but started chatting to a guy this week on bumble. I’ve suggested we meet up, just waiting for a reply. If not he’ll be deleted as I’m not on bumble to find a pen pal!
Anyway I’m just getting ready for a lovely boozy lunch with some friends - it’s so important to keep up your social life outside of dating!

Best wishes everyone!

I started a chat with "Ms East" on Wednesday
So far going well with well aligned values and interests, taking it steady though as my last relationship on OLD we both went in hard way too early and burned each other out in 3 months!

CheesecakeAddict

im having it 😂 its work in progress

its a very strange time to be single I think as (a) everyone’s a bit messed up after covid (b) Feminism (c) porn culture