Summer is going to be great for OLDaters and friends

[PinkIdentity]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Enola72 I can slightly relate and I don't even have a romantic relationship, just a very close male friend since my youth... he has been a long distance friend now for many years, lives on a different continent but we chat regularly on whatsapp and talk on the phone sometimes...
anyway, he is the most intelligent person I know, and also makes me laugh every single time, and most men just lack compared to him 😳 Sometimes I think having him to chat to any time prevents me from making an effort with OLD, and sometimes I also feel that the best I could hope for is to enjoy someone's company half as much as I enjoy his, because a lot of the time we are on a such a similar wavelength but also complimentary to each other, he really makes me think and grow but also is there to be entertaining or supportive.

He is fairly nerdy though and extremely well educated and we talk a lot of about stuff like philosophy, religion, the origins and meaning of life, politics, psychology etc.. Apart from my family I have no one IRL to have discussions of a similar nature with(and my family are mostly overseas or not local in UK so it's all on whatsapp) ...that's why I started researching dating "for geeks/nerds" or something like that, because even though I think sex is one of the best things to live for (haven't had sex for nearly 1.5 year) I also do not think I would enjoy it with a randomer unless there was charisma +intellect or something extra to excite me...

Well I’d never heard of Facebook dating until a few days ago so I decided to join.

Got a match straight away and he looked really nice so sent him a message. He replied within minutes but the reply - all good 👍

There’s no response to that is there? Maybe it’s me but I always take closed responses as a brush off

SamW98 I've only had those responses since I've been on Bumble. Thumbs up or a Giff. I started off replying with a normal message but I never get a response so just send a smiley face now (on the off chance they are gonna talk!)

I was also on Facebook dating for a while but for me the only guys I ended up chatting to were needy and not serious about dating, just after a ONS or hookup
And it seemed to be a lot of unattractive men... The standard was low.
Oh god I sound horrible don't I!

Bumble is slow for me at the moment too, but there is the speed dating they do on Tues, Thurs and sun at 7pm. Is a bit different. I met my fwb Mr Wood on there and that was in Feb, still see him now occasionally, but we chat every day

How does it work Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse? Do you have to pay extra?

Just had another match on Fb dating and he just sent a 👋

Honestly is communicating like adults really too much to ask? It’s like pulling teeth

SamW98 It absolutely is

I've just had a strange one, he's messaged just to let me know that he thinks my description of where I live isn't accurate as there isn't any greenery or wildlife (I mention these in my profile) as far as he's aware.

I'm sure he's right then, I mean, I've only lived here my whole life (41 years) so I've probably got it wrong.

No you don't have to pay at all... There's a timer in the top right of your swipe list... Click on that at the right time and then it spins the wheel and finds someone

Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse Sounds good, I might do that. Thank you

My one & only chat today on Bumble... 2nd & 3rd messages asking what my knickers are like & what my bra size is.

What the actual Nerves!!!!
Jesus who are these people!!!
Report them... bumble are great when you report stuff and they do ban people, I've had a few banned.
Do guys think we like this bs 😭😭😭

And my latest message - Your a milf

So tempted to go back with - you’re 🤣🤣

I do wonder if these men would speak to women in the outside world like that or whether the internet has made them brave (and stupid)

Ffs - do they think we’re all simpering little girls flattering by sleazy comments? It’s sad these men possibly have daughters yet think it’s an acceptable way to speak to women

Ughhhh
I'm definitely not as polite as you are!

No they are wanting a reaction, I'm sure of it.

I just started chatting to a guy on Tinder

Quite early on he's said
So what brings you to chatting with me today?.. passing the time working from home perhaps...

I mean how do I answer that! I've already told him I'm in the office 😭
I told him that, and like most people on Tinder I am single

Savage aren't I 😭

It’s difficult, that’s for sure! I don’t just want sexual chemistry with a man but connection on other levels and the OM ticks those boxes. Sadly, he isn’t available and that’s just the way it is.

Even though I’m making an effort with men on OLD I am the one getting the brush off and not sure why??!

I really think I am meant to be alone. My youngest will be off to university in 3
years (and her brother will be in his final year but I can’t see him returning home). All of my family are gone. I feel absolutely dreadful that I have missed out on affection/sex (for well over a decade) and now have nothing to look forward to.

@Enola72 dont let online dating make you lose confidence in yourself. You still sound like you are a great person.

Ahhh, thanks. I think this is the trouble though…I am losing confidence in myself. I just don’t get why this is happening.

@Enola72 This happened with me, i began to doubt myself, and ive no doubt my female friends have felt the same. If i could list the superficial good traits these people have, so attractive, kind women, solvent, some without children, well liked - and most werent having any luck with online dating. Sometimes you'd think the bar was set a bit too high but other times, even when the bar was a bit lower, they still didnt meet decent blokes. Im by no means perfect but i have a lot of good traits, and online dating was making me feel like crap about myself. I kept thinking why not me, am i so boring/unattractive that no one likes me!

I think you just need to either take a mini break or just not put so much focus on it.

Can I join in?
Reactivated my Ourtime profile this afternoon. Did have a nice very intense 3 month relationship that started last year. Sadly we parted friends & still are, cut me up a fair bit as I invested a lot of effort but I think we were just at the wrong points in our lives to fully mesh?
Still I've already had several "likes" so here we go again 😉

@Meepme
I think I need a break from it for a while. It’s soul destroying!

I’ve just looked at Ourtime as not heard of that before.

Am i right that you can’t contact anyone unless you’re a paid member? As that’s how it seems to read

@SamW98
"I’ve just looked at Ourtime as not heard of that before.

Am i right that you can’t contact anyone unless you’re a paid member? As that’s how it seems to read"

Yes it a paid one for over 50's worked OK for me last time and as I didn't use all my months they gave me a month free

So I started chatting to Mr Guitar today.
Seemed to be going great. Both wanted the same things. He gave me no red flags. Which is weird because there's usually something.... Anyway
Swapped numbers after a couple of hours back and forth. Arranged a date for Saturday. Sent a pic of us now to prove we're both real. Sent voicenotes back and forth.
He then said he could imagine me in a summery dress on a picnic blanket and I told him to carry on dreaming because I don't have summery dresses... He then asked me to send him my fave pic of myself. I questioned why, he said he wanted to know what I like about myself and he wanted to see it too. Hmmmmmmmm
So I threw it back and said I don't send pics on demand. He apologised.
And then blocked me
And unmatched me on tinder
I mean

I'm done 😐

Well I have given up on mr stripe, who I've heard nothing from... looking back on our messages, he definitely cooled it since our date.

He told me he was separated, I did have a hunch that he in fact wasn't... he didn't want to meet anywhere near home for example.

But I made the mistake of becoming too emotionally invested 😐

Aww cadburyegg Sorry it ended like that. Also, What a snake! Are you ok?

Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse
Such a shame, that started off so well!

I had a similar one today. Seemed lovely, I mentioned meeting up & he said he's up for it whenever I'm ready & will fit around me (we were still on site) then he says that his pic is 4 years old 'But I still look the same'. I said 'We'd all like to think we look exactly the same as 4 years ago but we probably don't realistically. My most recent photo was taken Tuesday, could you take a newer one & put it on? You can delete it once I've seen it if you like!'

Cue a load of excuses about how he doesn't have another one/can't take one & anyway... 'You should trust me by now so if you'd like to see what I look like then arrange to meet me'.

Nope.