Summer is going to be great for OLDaters and friends

[PinkIdentity]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@NervesOfCotton thank you. Sent :)

Your experience on Bumble is so odd! What is wrong with men?! 😂

@nervesofcotton I totally agree about Bumble! 2 guys totally reeled me in on there in the last couple of months and one ghosted me a couple of hours before we were due to meet and the other told me on the day of our date that he wanted kids (why date women in their 40s then?!)

I think you've been unlucky! It's hard to tell which openers will work with which people but I've recently been experimenting with different icebreakers with various success! Or using their "question game" format. But at the end of the day if they are idiots nothing will change that!

So I'm chatting to Mr Hotshot who visits my area regularly on business. I am meant to be seeing him tomorrow for a night of fun which I'm looking forward to!

Also chatting with Mr Abstract who seems lovely and we have arranged to meet on Saturday for a walk and a drink. But he doesn't drink 😂 not sure how I feel about seeing a guy that doesn't drink, I do respect him for it as long as he doesn't judge me for being a social drinker.... He said he's fine with it so we'll see. He seems quite mushy which I like but I'm trying not to get too attached in case he ghosts me as that usually happens!

I'm hoping your bumble luck turns soon!

Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse Sorry you've had those experiences, I've had similar.

Mr Abstract sounds nice yeah watch the mushy stuff, they reel you in don't they!

Do you generally swipe right or send one of the opener things? I've just been swiping right tbh, but nobody nice is swiping right back!

LittleFloatingGhostIt's me, I bring out the worst in them
Did Mr T answer you?

I never realised how many monosyllabic men were out there until I joined OLD. I read their profile send a nice chatty message and they respond hi or lol. Or the one I got today ‘happy dayz’

My mate messaged a guy and his response was asking whether she was wearing knickers in her profile photo 😩

Its bloody hard work but I’m staying optimistic 🤣

Not sure if it’s me or then but I seem to attract men after a shag despite being very clear that’s not what I’m looking for.

It always starts pretty well a few days of friendly messages flowing back and forth and then BAM the drip feed into sex talk.

Each to their own but I’m not exchanging sexual messages with a man I’ve not even met - at least let’s have dinner first 🤣🤣

SamW98 We have to, don't we!

I've had 'I'm horny' (nothing else)
& 'You wanna help me be horny' (nothing else. Different guy!)

SamW98 At least you get some normal messages first!
It's not you, it's them. It's always them

Best one I ever got was MILF 🔥

Not quite sure how I was supposed to respond to that 🤣🤣

Oh yes Sam and Nerves... I've had this too. Couple of days of normal chat and then into the sex talk.
I will entertain it for a short while if I really fancy them, and then I'll say that I need to meet them before I say anything else. Inevitably that's when they disappear 🫥
There are so many men that are just on OLD for an ego boost, aren't ready, married, just horny... And have no intention of ever meeting up. Hard to find the real ones!

And just when you think you've found a good one... Bam they either disappear or reveal they love Andrew Tate or some other crap 😂

@NervesOfCotton yes, he unmatched me and said take care.

I don’t think you’re the common denominator at all 😂 Just different strokes for different folks.

I feel way more comfortable focusing on one person right now.

Aww I'm glad you are good LittleFloatingGhost

I've gone back on my original dating site, I'm chatting to several (more than I've chatted to in the whole time on Bumble)

I've not completely ditched Bumble (I paid for a month) but the ones I swipe right on don't swipe back (Or they do then don't wanna actually talk!) & then it says I've run out again so it's not working for me.

FFS. 'How curvy are you?'

Me. Erm. 'I dunno. Size 14/16'.

'OMG YOUR BODY IS TO DIE FOR, I'M SO, SO, SO IN AWE OF YOU.XXXXXXX'

Written just like that

What a keeper 😭😭😭
Ugh
I asked a guy earlier what else he enjoyed apart from the gym
He replied "alcohol lol"
I replied "i think we are on different pages, good luck"

Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse Oh I hate that. Even if it's their favourite thing you'd think they'd try to add something else

Might be a bit TMI but worst one I had was a guy who was pretty attractive but seemed very nice and friendly. We actually got on well and chatted several times before arranging to meet the following week.
Then one evening we were chatting and I noticed he had gone quiet. So I asked if he was ok and his response ‘yes I’m just touching my c**k listening to your voice’

Funny enough the date never happened after that 🤣🤣

The worst one I had was a guy who told me he hadn’t dated in a while because he’d been in prison for assault and he hoped it wasn’t a dealbreaker because the guy was okay now and he had deserved it. Before I had the chance the reply he sent another message saying even if we didn’t date could we just meet for a one night stand because he hadn’t got laid in a while and he could make it quick “because you know, prison”

Ah peak romance 😂😂

It's frustrating, I've dated 4 different men in the last few weeks only one made it to a second date, clearly after one thing as soon as I mentioned I'm not looking to sleep with anyone until exclusive, communication died. I date 5 years either side of my age, the slightly younger men find it hilarious to call me a cougar I'm 43, the men only have time for a quick bonk, dispite being picky and choosing men that seem serious. It's just not my time I keep telling myself.

Hello,

I am getting nowhere with OLD. I’m 51, female and I have been single for 3 years. I lived in a sexless marriage for many years (my doing as I wasn’t attracted to him and he was rubbish in the bedroom - similar sort of man to what someone else has posted about the possibility of her husband being gay as very similar things - and age gap >10 years).

Some might remember my story (different username) as I had lived without affection for many years but became sexually wild at menopause (but still couldn’t go near my husband). Yes, I went with someone else who I got to know online. All innocent at first (we did just chat on the phone and online for a year beforehand ) but now I realise this was happening for a reason (deprived of affection etc.) and OM is still in my life on and off but is causing me great grief. Basically, I have feelings for him. Of course I do, he’s passionate (unlike the husband was), he’s affectionate (unlike the husband was), compliments me (again, the husband didn’t) and we get on extremely well. However, he is married (also in a sexless marriage - he swears he is and was adamant we never met) but clearly thinks a lot of her. He has told me he won’t leave her etc. and has tried to get me to look for love somewhere else. Fair enough. I ended my marriage btw before anyone says anything (3 years ago).

I have tried OLD. I have had dates but they either keep messaging a few days and then disappear or send the ‘I don’t want to continue any further with this’ or I’m not interested in them. I have been messed about by a few now. It’s tough as I was very inexperienced before marriage and then ended up stuck with a bit of a lemon.

I am fairly good looking (OM is always telling me how attractive I am) and in a professional job. One child off to university in September with the other to follow in 3 years time.

I have no family or siblings left (RIP) so I feel extremely lonely right now. I am not sure what I am doing wrong. Are they all
like that on OLD?

Latest one, very local. Less than 3 miles away. He is divorced and has been quite a few years. Has two teens (one away at university). He chatted to me a lot in the early days and we met up
one evening for a drink which was nice. Although I didn’t instantly find him attractive or anything he seemed to be a nice person. I wasn’t keen tbh but persevered and decided I would see him again if he offered. The drink was a bit rushed as he had asked me last minute and had to return to take his 17 year old daughter to the cinema after 2 hours. He kissed me on the cheek when we parted and all seemed very nice. I didn’t message him when I got home but he messaged me and seemed keen. He messaged a
lot over the next few days but then, in the evenings, would send me photos of him relaxing after work with his legs on show (no trousers), then one evening sent me a pic of his legs after a shower with the top
of his dick showing! He said it was an accident! I just said we hadn’t met a second time yet (as I thought the pic was a bit inappropriate ). No mention of a second date but, when I mentioned it, he said he’d look at his work schedule.

He wanted to go to bed (after a photo) to get comfortable and I honestly did fall
asleep! I found it weird what he was wanting to do without organising a second date. He kept sending (late at night) messages which were things like ‘give your boobs a squeeze for me’ and stuff like that. I just said - we haven’t had a second date yet! Don’t get me wrong, Im
no prude, but wtf??

He went quiet. Next day he messages to say he is really busy with work and his kids (one back from uni for the summer now) and taking them away so he didn’t want to mess me about and felt he didn’t want to go any further with this. I didn’t even reply! I blocked and deleted him on all communication channels! He was a professional guy in a very professional job! I am seeing this sort of thing time after time.

What is wrong with me and am I making a mistake by chatting to one man at a time?

OM btw has got to know me really well over the years and I am trying really hard
to find someone that I feel the same way about. He is even trying to get me to find someone (suggests I take up
badminton or squash) but I’m failing miserably.

I feel like I have missed the boat - especially with staying in a sexless marriage for so long!!!

I have deleted Bumble as a result of above!!

Enola72

why not scratch the itch 🤷‍♀️
you’ve had a sexless marriage
get under one and keep looking for maybe someone more solid !?
as this is what it’s like for bloody everyone sadly

but clearly this summer heat is making the men of OLD extremely horny and worse than usual 😂

ive had two exes very directly ask for sex too
both declined as fortunately my libido is on my side this summer 💪

I have tried OLD. I have had dates but they either keep messaging a few days and then disappear or send the ‘I don’t want to continue any further with this’ or I’m not interested in them. I have been messed about by a few now.

to be fair, this is pretty much how I found most women to be, I think it’s that rush of excitement that is quickly tarred by a dose of reality

Hi there,
Can I join in too?
Coming to OLD at the age of 51 probably way too soon after the end of a 15yr marriage.

I had one coffee date last week. We really got on, not sure there was a spark but we're meeting again this week.
Then, last night and this morning I think I got catfished! Lots didn't add up. I should expl that I've put that I'm open to dating both men and women. This was an extremely beautiful, quite forward woman. She'd already dropped into the conversation about helping a friend. All the photos were professional shots. Then she dropped some pretty funny clangers relating to where she was supposed to be from. Really weird, and I guess it happens to men all he time.
I have a date with who I'll call Mr Millennial tomorrow (he's far too young!). He already misunderstood one of my messages and asked directly if I was suggesting we get 'intimate' as if so he'd get some work out of the way. I explained not, but it doesn't really bode well.
Are there any sites that people have found easier? I'm using Bumble. There seem to be hardly any men in my age range, but loads over 60 and under 40.

Just to add to what others are saying - I’m mid 50’s but look late 40’s (not me saying that it’s what I’ve been told many times)and quite young in my attitude and ways. I still up to dance music festivals and the odd rave (daytime these days)

Im finding most men on OLD my age are either looking for a 40 year old, look much older or are much more set in their ways and not on my wavelength.
And the few that seem to have a similar outlook are after sex not a relationship. While I’m not looking to rush into anything, it would be nice to have a few dates and see where it goes.

I’ve been single 3 years now, definitely ready to move forward but getting absolutely nowhere fast. I get a lot of likes, quite a lot of matches but so far only 2 dates.

Ooh what site is this.
I think I’ve run out of local men on bumble too.

my lovely first date lunch guy has basically agreed that it’s going to be difficult for us as we have our kids on different weekends so are never both child free at the same time. I offered to meet on a weekday and he basically can’t. So I’ve said it was lovely to meet him anyway and wished him well 😢. (I didn’t put the emoji, that’s just how I feel)

anybody else feel a bit like unwanted goods?

@SamW98
i used to use the “likes “ as a kind of double check, if the same person looked at my profile that was check 1, if they then sent me a like back that was check 2 and I would message them

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣