Summer is going to be great for OLDaters and friends

[PinkIdentity]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@nervesofcotton yes that small talk is dire isn't it... Some people's chat is just bad. And thank you...

Passme... I would agree, delete their number, you've made the effort, they are clearly talking to others so I would forget this one and move on

I really don't understand guys that go sexual in the first few days, and the mundane chat. With literally any match I get, it's nail down interests, hobbies, lifestyle and if it all aligns to some degree, get to WhatsApp ASAP, get a phonecall and get a meet ASAP.

I don't have time to waste so I'll literally go from match to first date within 1-2 weeks. I bin most off after the phonecall, as if they aren't able to be on the phone with me for 1-2hrs without the conversation being dull, it's not going to work.

for 1-2hrs

😱😱😱

but I hate phone calls and video calls

When I used the apps I normally wanted to swap numbers in under 10-20 messages then arrange a date asap, day after or same week.

Any longer and I lost interest or began talking to multiple people at the same time.

Success on the apps means seizing the moment. Longevity post first date is another matter though.

Hi everyone, can I join in again. I posted a fair bit a few years back and since then have been lurking, reading and picking up more hints and tips on OLD! I've just posted a question on the main board so thought I'd join in here again as this thread is so supportive.

I never expected to be 60 and once again navigating OLD! Honestly, as soon as I think I understand men another throws a curveball! I matched with someone a few weeks back who was as dull as ditchwater - sent me 6 (yes 6) photos of his lawn one day and told me the ins and outs of Green Flag vs the AA!!

I've finally discovered every guy appears to have totally different texting styles as well and I find myself mirroring their style!

Just had a third (hotel!) date with Mr Builder, who, I'm trying very hard not to fall for big time! We get on great, have a laugh, he's interested in me and my life and I know I'm over investing! Pull back Pushka, take a breath!

Looking forward to keeping up to date with all of the OLD stories on here and joining in.

Well the date went well! A swim in the rain, dinner and then back to mine.

While originally I thought about taking it slow I then decided against it!

Well he’s just replied. It looks like we’ve got our kids on different weekends so may never be child free at the same time. That’s a shame.
He asked when I was thinking (for meeting up again) after saying that he’d love to meet up but has his kids next weekend. I think I’ll reply saying when I am free but will leave it with him, and acknowledge that while it would have been nice to see him again, I understand if logistics mean it might be difficult.

Does that sound ok? I don’t want to be rude as I think he is a genuinely nice guy. I also don’t want to come off too negative, which I think I’ve been guilty of in the past and ruined things for myself!

This sounds amazing!

Passmethpens

hey I’m pleased you heard from him!
im very glass is half empty on this stuff

however sounds like real life stuff coming into play

So I have been talking to Mr Car this morning. We have spoken before on Tinder and then he disappeared. When we spoke before I mentioned it was my birthday and he said we'd have to go car shopping. I found that odd as I'd never met him. He then disappeared .Fast forward to today. Bit of chat back and forth and then he said on our second date we'd have to go car shopping... I asked if he was serious, he said why not if we get on... Am I just being a little harsh here or is that not a big red flag. He was talking about buying me an Aston Martin. Hmm. I know he has a good job but still.
So I asked him if he was love bombing me. Of course he apparently didn't know what it means, I explained and then he said I should never judge people on my past experiences and that it was totally unfair of me to do that, and it was a huge red flag to him.
I feel like this is a lucky escape for me! Thoughts?

So Mr car said he is going to buy you an Aston Marting for your birthday.
Thoughts.
Sounds very extravagant and to be perfectly honest a planet-sized red flag.😆

@Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse I'd say he's just a catfish of some sort and I doubt many millionaires are actually needing to use the dating aps 😆

Well apparently I've seen everybody nearby on Bumble so that was a waste of money then! I hope that's not all their is. Thought they might let you go back & look again or something.

I've got 2 chats on the way but don't think they are going anywhere.

Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse Tell him I'll let him buy me a car
Sounds like a scammer to me.

Aston Martin, not Marting.😂

I don't have time to waste so I'll literally go from match to first date within 1-2 weeks. I bin most off after the phonecall, as if they aren't able to be on the phone with me for 1-2hrs without the conversation being dull, it's not going to work.

lol that’s funny, most of the women I’ve tried to date over the last few years wouldn’t have had 2 hours free time for a phone call.

@NoDatingFor0ldMen I'm in my 30s, it's more about being able to hold a conversation and the flow of that conversation, so the expression "we could talk for hours" strikes true!

It's also a good marker for someone's availability. It's not worth dating someone where they can't make time for you. If they are too busy to do, then maybe they should be realistic about whether they have the free time to date right now? 🤷‍♂️

Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse

sounds like he has a weak relationship with reality and normality

id gently disengage to be honest

Come on @Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse that can't be a serious question?! You think a stranger would want to spend over £100k on you?

Thanks for the replies... Totally a love bomber I'm under no illusions, but just can't believe that some people think women would fall for this! And then to throw it back and say he's offended I questioned it...

Lucky escape but there are so many dodgy guys out there! I wonder if he has any luck ever

Yep… it’s a bit extreme isn’t it?!

Agreed @passmethpens

I worry for other women tbh. Anyway he's long gone now! Think I might have a new iron in the fire but we'll see!

Wow, their are some WEIRD guys on Bumble! I thought the site I was on before had some strange people, but on here they seem to get offended if you message them after they've matched with you. (Happened twice today) Bizarre behaviour.

Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse I hope there's something exiting happening!

@NervesOfCotton thats so weird. Given it’s bumble what were they expecting to happen?? It’s not like they can message you. OLD is a funny old place sometimes

Hey everyone 👋

So, I am going to stop dating Mr T. We had a second date lined up for Wednesday and have messaged daily, but I’m not massively feeling it. Does this read okay, planning to send it tomorrow:

Hey Mr T,

I have been thinking overnight and it’s best if we cancel lunch on Wednesday. The more we message, the more I see you as a friend. I am happy to keep in touch, but understand if you would rather not. Take care and have fun! LittleFloatingGhost x

Mapleunicorn I know, they both said I was 'In a rush', 'Moving too quickly' & then unmatched me before I could reply (All I said was 'Thank you for the interest. How are you?')

I think I preferred it when there was nobody available, at least then I couldn't annoy anybody

LittleFloatingGhost Sounds fine to me, hope you are ok!