Summer is going to be great for OLDaters and friends

[PinkIdentity]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Thisisworsethananticpated Thank you. I know. That's why I signed up on here again as I need people to help me see what I can't see sometimes! (Or don't want to see in my romantic brain) The 'Feeding him' comment made me laugh. I actually read weirdness as wilderness & I thought that's actually fitting, the wild wilderness of OLD

@NervesOfCotton not yet, no. We have been messaging a little and he had been very clear that he likes me and wants to see me again. Just hoping it happens soon as I get good vibes, then I question and then I back off 🙈

I have a second date with Mr T next week. I get really good vibes from him and find him hilarious. Can’t remember if I updated but we had a long FaceTime and it was good. Not sure if it is friends or more!

I have also paused the app for now, so just seeing what happens and keeping my options open.

Just want to say hi!
Had to screen pic my post and attach it because I couldn't load it. I don't like writing long on the phone...

Welcome @Kione OLD is shocking been on UK main Isle let alone one of the islands off it 😆 hoping you manage to land a decent catch though 😁

Thank you! Just being able to chat here seems already uplifting

When I say kiss, I meant snog... A peck on the cheek (and I've often done that) like you'd give your Mum doesn't count!..

@Beachdaysandbbqs hope your second date goes well!

@guineacup It's always been a kiss on the lips, but not always a snog 😂

LittleFloatingGhost MrT sounds nice

I joined up to Bumble, I've never been on there before but seen it mentioned on here.

There's more men nearby than my old dating site, I'm swiping Right on a fair few but havn't got much back yet.

Yep I’m on bumble too. I think I must have swiped past most local men though as hardly any new ones popping up.
I do find it much better than match though… that was awful!

Passmethpens I was wondering about that, if you swipe past all of your local ones does it start again or do you just have to wait for new ones to sign up?!

I've got a few conversations going but none of them are really saying anything

After a few glasses of wine, I’ve signed up to do speed dating next month. Might be a pleasant change from the usual apps or might be a complete disaster 😅

Welcome to Bumble! It's so hard to get chat going... I try to put prompts on my profile to tempt the chat a bit or have some random openers... It's definitely better than Hinge tho imo

I actually really want to try Speed Dating! But I don't want to go on my own and have no single friends that would join me... Really keen to find out how this works out for you!

Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse So far I've had 2 that soon announced that they were 'horny', one who unmatched when he heard my kids ages, one who barely said a word then at 8.30 said he was going to bed, one who has barely any free time & child free weekends don't match up so there's no point, oh & two who unmatched me after the first message.

So I'm doing well

I also would love to try Speed dating!

Ugh. When you say 'So, do you think you might like to meet up sometime if we can make the logistics work?'

& They come back with 'Bloody hell, you move fast, meeting up already!'

@nervesofcotton

Ughhhh sounds like you've been chatting to Bumble's finest! I think because there are less guys on bumble it's harder to get a match so I make compromises and then end up chatting to guys I don't really fancy/have anything in common with which is awful because then inevitably I unmatch them. So I guess I'm just as much to blame!
I don't think there's anything wrong with suggesting a meetup early doors, at least you know how serious they are about meeting someone. I like to arrange a meetup before exchanging numbers, helps to weed out the sexters and keyboard warriors a little. But I've met some very strange people on Bumble and have reported loads!
I'm basically crap at dating.

Just got back from a weeks holiday in Greece and going to start afresh. I’m on bumble and had a few chats but I seem to attract the ones who start out friendly and chatty but within a few days try and turn the chat sexual.
Was chatting to a guy a couple of days before I went away who seemed really nice. Then he messaged me while I was away asking if I’d pulled any Greek men and if I was wearing a thong bikini and my sexiest little dresses - so another one bites the dust lol

Aww Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse I'm certain that it's not you

I agree, mention a meet, see the reaction.
I get so bored of the 'So today I'm out with my kids then I'm gonna hoover, then I'm going to buy T-bags'. Fascinating messages.

So sometimes I mention a meet just in case they are rubbish at messages

@spotsandflowers just catching up with the thread... I'm just over 50 and dated a man who was still living with his ex (and kids) last year. It was really difficult as it felt like an affair. I'm sure it would be different in lots of cases but he was very secretive. We ended it after a few months and I often wonder if he wasn't really getting a divorce at all! Recommendations for apps: I've only ever been on Match but it's not been very successful for me. After a couple of years, I'm giving OLD a break for a while. Good luck.

These exchanges via the apps are a bore fest for all parties.
Best to just arrange a meet asap.

Hi. Some advice please regarding the man I had a first date with now 9 days ago.
he has messaged but not much. Last message I got was on Thursday saying he’d had a busy week and was a general nice Hi, how was my week and did I have any nice plans for the weekend? (So not offering to meet me etc)
I replied yesterday morning (Friday) saying I had my kids etc and asked if he’d like to meet up next week?

No reply!
Nothing.

this is the guy I thought I’d had a lovely first lunch date with and who I thought was interested as he’d texted me later that day saying it was lovely to meet up asking if I’d like to meet again (to which I replied yes).

I feel like I’m just waiting around. Should I message him again and see if he wants to leave things…. Don’t know what to do. (I’m not very good at these things)

Hi @Passmethpens it’s difficult to gauge sometimes isn’t it! My best guess is that he may be chatting to other people and juggling dates potentially. I think first date energy and enthusiasm isn’t always a true reflection of someone’s intentions or level of interest. I think I was pretty good at being engaging with most guys I met. I think it’s easy to get caught up in thinking this is a fun night, better than being at home etc. Obviously not everyone who you meet is going to be easy company. The true test is how things then develop. I think you have given him every reason to believe you would be happy to meet again and so I would see what his next move is. Someone keen will be looking to schedule another date, even when it’s logistically difficult. ( I don’t know either of your circumstances etc)

Harrypewter I agree. Sometimes it takes a few days/a week to actually be able to meet anyway, so no harm in arranging it.

I feel like I’m just waiting around. Should I message him again and see if he wants to leave things…. Don’t know what to do

id just assume not interested and I’d delete their number and move on

if he texts again - I’d not rush to reply either unless it’s a firm request for a date