Summer is going to be great for OLDaters and friends

[PinkIdentity]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

StartinOverAgain It's difficult isn't it, sometimes, on paper, it looks like you should be able to easily meet somebody, but it just doesn't work out that way does it.

I've never tried Bumble but I hope you have some more luck. I find similar to you, If I like them they don't like me & if they like me they are 100's of miles away/20 years older/younger.

@NervesOfCotton exactly and I am quite fussy, they need to be able to hold a conversation, have a sense of humour, good hygiene and be as solvent as me (not a huge ask haha).

So so many men are NOT looking for what they claim, but casual encounters, and I don't mean half a dozen, literally 95% of the men I have spoken to rapidly make it clear!

So I am NOT interested in: anyone who travels to my area for work, but live 300 miles away, anyone over 10 years younger, anyone with children under 10, anyone long term unemployed etc etc haha!

Just me and my dog for life then 😆

@NervesOfCotton crikey that's quick indeed to be telling anyone let alone his daughter - I was with Mason 7 months and only told my kids at that point because I was going away with him whilst they were away and they obviously asked who I was going with 😆

Chatting with a guy last night, seemed nice however was unceremoniously unmatched once I told him I had 3 kids 😆

Have a quick date zero tonight. Only chatted briefly as only matched Sunday evening but he's local so no harm in meeting for a quick drink to see if anything there rather than back and forth messaging

@NervesOfCotton wow, that’s a red flag for me! I have told friends I am on sites and meeting people, more from a safety point of view (theirs for any salacious gossip!). I wouldn’t even dream of mentioning anyone to my kids unless they were going to meet them (which would not be a quick thing).

LittleFloatingGhost & Slothmomma I know, it's a bit weird isn't it. I won't be telling my kids about anybody for a long time.

I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's just very exited, but it almost feels like he's testing me for my reactions to these comments (Eg telling his daughter & telling me about that house)

@NervesOfCotton just keep your wita about you. Mr Mason was similar - telling friends quickly, pushing to declare us a couple, saying I love you first, trying to get me to meet his daughter (I never did), trying to push to meet my kids etc - it all just seemed a way of pining me down - it never worked obviously as we broke up after 7 months

Thank you Slothmomma I am. I appreciate the advice on here. All this is so difficult isn't it!

I'm free on Wednesday but won't have time to get to his & he hasn't got time to get here, so looks like we aren't going to have date 3 until next Mon anyway.

Hi @LittleFloatingGhost yes I did have counselling after our split and therapist said it was normal to react that way after a major let down and that as a self preservation mode to try to preempt problems and get out before it happens but that time would help. I have chilled a lot and do realise that its not all me. Yes I do go to worst case scenario a lot but equally he is so laid back that it doesn't help when I'm in that mode but we do love each other and are very good to and for each other in a lot of ways.

My kids know about Ms. Iceberg, we were messaging and one of her messages popped up on the screen in the car. The youngest asked, who's that, the eldest burst out laughing. Then I broke the ice by calling her.
Both said Ms.Iceberg had a lovely soothing voice.
The youngest asked today when were they going to meet her.😂

Not yet I replied.

Hey everyone… just been having a read hope everyone’s doing ok…
Still no dating for me.. met a great guy on holiday who’s from another country but we didn’t speak again when we got home 😕 so different to English blokes, he did set a high bar!
Hope everyone’s doing good 🥰

Hi @ButterflyOfShay, great to hear from you, hope all's good with you.

Hi ButterflyOfShay I wondered if you were still around
Shame about sexy holiday guy!

ButterflyOfShay

oh im pleased you got back on the 🐎!
albeit a foreign one from lands far away
remember Mr Turk 🥰

Slothmomma

good luck with tonight’s date !

i never told kids about ex or any dates but they also sussed
(mummy leaving all clean and perfumed once a week ) ‘mummy’s meeting a friend’
😂

Harrypewter

gosh it’s all very 🥰🥰🥰 your end
hey , long may it happily endure

@Harrypewter didn't you say Miss Iceberg lives 100miles away? How will you make it work?

Thanks.
It's a great position to be in. Chemistry, fun, and agreeableness. There's a familiarity to this relationship with a friendly comfort and a layer of intrinsic sexual chemistry.

@Meepme, we're 200 miles apart, it's 7-8 weeks since our first chat, and I'm sure the relationship will grow over the coming months and yr. The current arrangement is perfect for our needs. I'm going down there 3 times next week. However, we did discuss the future, basically one of us will move.

@Harrypewter that's such a long way, and are you saying you know after 7 weeks that either of you will consider moving? I'm interested because I think id freak out at that. Have you had similar long distance relationships?

So my first date guy did get back in touch but no date 2 set up yet 🤔.

And my ex FWB (which I didn’t realise was Fwb and thought was more) reached out texting to say hi over the weekend, after us not being in any contact for 3 weeks. This is the guy I found is on Bumble despite telling me he didn’t have time for a relationship. I replied and said that I’d had an interesting suggestion on bumble (him) and wished him well but that he obviously wouldn’t find anyone as awesome as me!!
he hasn’t replied 😂

Heeey @NervesOfCotton @Thisisworsethananticpated @LuckyLinda3 xx
Ah yes still see MrTurk about every now and then!
Shame about MrHoliday, it’s so hard to meet someone. Angel hope the guy you’ve met turns out to be a good’un 💗

Brilliant 😂

ButterflyofShay Thank you lovely, Aww MrTurk
Whatever happens with mine, I'm glad I've dipped my toe back in. It's given me the confidence to know that I can go on dates & I have got something to say, other than just 'I'm a mum, and, um'... (Which was my fear)

Harrypewter Sounds like you've got a good thing going for now

Passmethpens

ah the FWB ‘hi’

is there a textbook or a manual they all use ?

I know… what sort of reply are they expecting? Puts you in awkward position too. Do you reply saying hi back (which achieves nothing but makes you start thinking about them again and looking at your phone constantly to see if they’re going to say anything more) or ignore them (which I personally find very difficult as I think it looks rude)

Unless you're MrNoEffort, in that case it's
'Would you like to wank me off onto your face'
And then when that failed 'casual fun?'
MrNoEffort who had made a song and dance about not wanting casual after the first time we slept together
Good job he was fit and good at it