Summer is going to be great for OLDaters and friends

[PinkIdentity]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Any dates tonight ?

im going out so I’m going to do my hair and make up and see if I get any real life flirting
ill have my son with me which might clip my wings

How does WhatsApp link to Facebook?

Yeah @Thisisworsethananticpated it was fun regardless but shame as he was lovely

@tothelefttotheleft if you add someone to whatsapp it eventually links to fb in that they show in your "someone you might know" friends list

Can I just say… good for you having the confidence to do this and I hope it doesn’t deter you !!

No dates for me, but have a lunch date next week. Was supposed to be yesterday but moved.

good luck with the flirting… always much better in real life 😊

@Passmethpens thanks and no it won't deter me. I've never offered my number before but thought nothing to lose so why not

30 mins wouldn't have been a problem had he been genuine

Have a fabulous time and hope you manage some real life interaction this evening.

Posty sounds lovely too! I had a fling with our postman at work about 20 years ago - so much fun.

With regards to exes coming back to haunt, I had a very weird WA message this week. Early hours of the morning.

A WA business account, didn't recognise profile pic or number. Didn't use my name but his message suggested I'd know him. I googled the image and name separately but nothing.

This isn't someone I would have given my phone number to.

Is this common on WA? My number possibly sold to scammers? I've never had anything on WA like that before.

I've blocked but just weirded out by it a bit.

5thWisdom

it was fun did some sexy staring at someone who I think was (maybe ?) staring back at me
bit was nice to fancy a RL person

that will have to do !

I’d probably forget message , as you know we all plug our phone numbers all over the place .
either way not worth the headspace

So I’ve just opened bumble to do a bit of swiping and the guy who didn’t have time for me (referred to me as FWB when I thought it was more) is on there! As a newbie.
I’m so shocked, and feel a bit sick to be honest. He’s made it out like he’s happy on his own and he actually is so busy and spends half his time abroad.

I just feel all shaken, it was a complete surprise and shock to see him pop up.

Ive put my account on snooze mode now as I’m paranoid he might see me on it. I’ve changed my name you see and it might look odd.

Passmethpens

that’s such a yuk feeling
been there
saw two actually 🤦‍♀️

with most dating apps you can hide people you don’t want to see or be seen by using their phone no - id do that asap and pause app for a few days x

After casting aside all irons, I have deleted my accounts, only had FB and Bumble, and have decided its not for me.

Its either the same faces or men that aren't actually interested in what they declare they are.

And twice I have seen my single female friends on FB are also friends with some of these men who have matched with me, and as they are NOT local and clearly from interactions, more than platonic friends, it all feels quite sordid tbh.

Have assessed my busy life and feel like although there is a deep yearning to be loved by and have that special person in my life, I am very happy as I am and will leave it to fate!

Clearly destined to meet someone in a retirement home in 20 years then 😆

Good luck all !!

Had a quick 2nd date with new iron today
I need a name for him
As he is about to move close to me I think I'll call him MrLocal. Should be seeing him again at the weekend

@qqq82 aw nice to hear a positive update

Can't remember what I last wrote. However, we've moved from an exclusive to a relationship. Ms. Icebeg and I are going along nicely. I can see the feels around the corner.
Bit crazy really, she lives 200 miles away, you never know who is out there for you on this planet of billions.😂

aw nice to hear a positive update

x 2 !
says she brushing off the cobwebs 😂

how are tings Linda ? Did you have a nice silent weekend ?

However, we've moved from an exclusive to a relationship.

I'd always assumed that agreeing to be exclusive and being in a relationship were effectively the same thing?! Am I missing something on the distinction between the two?

@Harrypewter congratulations, I'm so pleased for you!

I have been clocking in 90-100 hours week at work this fortnight so I've barely had time for myself let alone an iron, however I'm still seeing Mr Absent, however the last 5 meet ups have just been him coming over for sex. I am not complaining BUT I'm getting a little bored. He's messaging a lot more now and he seems genuinely interested in my life, so it's hard to see if we have fallen into fwb or just 2 very busy people. What do you think?

I think exclusive is a passive way of saying, we won't have sex with others, we're dating. Relationships mean something entirely more explicit and committed.

@CheesecakeAddict Probably time for a chat, it's what we did. Clears up any confusion and resets boundaries.

@Thisisworsethananticpated hello there. I had a nice weekend surely, we haven't met up to talk properly since and communication is sparse compared to normal. I think we are both not quite sure where we go next. He told me he doesn't want to give up on what we have but I think I need more effort from him, more consistency and I'm not sure I'll get it. I think he is working now the rest of the week, so 3 13hr shifts in a row.

LuckyLinda3

my tuppence worth is he sound like a basically decent man
but there is something about him that makes you feel insecure , maybe because you want more than he can give
but maybe also because all the on and off has made the foundations very shaky

personally I’d do some hard thinking 🤔

Not ‘should we end it ‘
but more around you and what’s reasonable expectations and what’s maybe not compatibility

tricky !

CheesecakeAddict

fwb
which is fine if (a) it suits you and (b) if he’s not bringing his problems to the party and (c) if your not yearning on some level for something more ?

@Thisisworsethananticpated yes I agree, he is a good man. Says all the right things but doesn't always translate to action so I'm left frustrated. I'm still very focused on my 17 Yr old daughter so not asking for or expecting loads of time together. He's not a great planner so leaves most of that to me and I don't mind but every so often want to see effort on his part. We have always agreed that we should continue to socialise with friends but I find myself getting frustrated recently when we can't get time together but he can make their nights out.
Part of me wants to meet and face it head on but the other part of me just wants to meet, relax, chill and do what we do best when we actually get together.