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Original poster

Friend hit on my husband

143 replies

AleenaM · 01/05/2023 13:56

Trying to enlarge my circle of friends with kids, met this particular one at some busy kids parties, then a few times with other families too, recently she came to mine with her kid. Husband says she gave him a clear flirty look when I wasn't around, he wasn't comfortable with this and avoided her thereafter. Never really had this issue pre-kids or after kids in 13-14years, he's never said someone tried to hit on him, amongst friends or groups of people who know we are in a relation. She's in a complicated relationship with her child's father. I'd probably describe me and husband as modest people and private about our relationship, no PDA ever either, just to give context to say that we would never flirt as banter.

How big of a red flag is this in my friendship with her? Husband suggests to just keep our meetings to parks/play places and have a more superficial friendship ( I have already stupidly overshared some things with her, to do with our children as I felt her as trustworthy and genuine).

OP posts:
ReadersD1gest · 01/05/2023 19:34

Specifically he said she looked at him in a way where he sensed something is not right, and having asked again it was when I was there too
That's not particularly specific... Something was Not Right? 😵‍💫. And you were actually there at the time? You op says it was when you weren't there.
All very confusing.

RedHelenB · 01/05/2023 19:39

Arginalia · 01/05/2023 17:08

Husband says she gave him a clear flirty look when I wasn't around

Going against the grain - that doesn't sound like much to bin off a friendship for. What is a 'flirty look'?

This

GoodChat · 01/05/2023 19:40

So she gave him a flirty look, in front of you, which you didn't see, and you're intending on ending the friendship?

It sounds like she would benefit from that, to be honest.

LadyKenya · 01/05/2023 19:44

The OP said it was not in front of her, in her OP. I have not read through the whole thread OP, but did your husband show you the look she gave him.

Greenfairydust · 01/05/2023 19:49

''A flirty look''?

Frankly I would think your husband is either getting the wrong the idea or he is the one who came on to her and was put back in his place...

Some people are just more extrovert and enjoy teasing/making a joke and mean nothing by it.

It just sound like your partner being the quiet/slightly repressed type took someone simply displaying a different type of personality as a come on...

GoodChat · 01/05/2023 20:01

LadyKenya · 01/05/2023 19:44

The OP said it was not in front of her, in her OP. I have not read through the whole thread OP, but did your husband show you the look she gave him.

Just read her posts. She updated and said she asked again and she was there at the time.

ToeJabbyRun · 01/05/2023 20:03

I had a friend's husband, 'Bob' say he didn't like mixing with our other friends as the wife, 'Sue' made him feel awkward with her flirting. She was very friendly but only in front of anyone and we all thought he was being over sensitive. However respected that she made him feel odd so never socialised with them together. Later found out 'Sue' had had affairs so 'Bob' probably did pick up on the vibes correctly.
I think she's not a huge friend ATM, makes your DH feel awkward and so there's no harm in cooling it with her. If you told him you found a new friend of his difficult you'd expect him to do the same.

HundredMilesAnHour · 01/05/2023 20:13

GoodChat · 01/05/2023 20:01

Just read her posts. She updated and said she asked again and she was there at the time.

Show quote history

What did she ask? I thought the offending friend gave a "flirty look" when the OP wasn't there.

I'm starting to think the friend is better off without this pair. I hate to imagine the reaction if the friend has touched one of them on the arm. 🙄

Backtothegym · 01/05/2023 20:15

He suggested you see her outwith the home and all because she gave him a look and uoire now going to end the friendship. And you’ve both been sitting bad mouthing her parenting.

I think you will both be doing her a favour if you stay away, because I’m not going to lie you’re both being incredibly weird

and for the record I trust my husband implicitly, hence why if someone actually flirted it would not be an issue. But I say “actually flirted” as opposed to this weird nonsense of a look. Which isn’t flirting op.

RebelliousStarrChild · 01/05/2023 21:00

So is everyone just going to ignore the part where OP says she has many friends who display all sorts of flirty behaviours and her husband has never had an issue with those people?Honestly he shouldn't have to prove anything, the fact he feels uncomfortable in his own home is enough. Imagine yourself telling your husband one of his new male friends have made you feel uncomfortable in this way and your husband questioning if you actually gave him the come on and are now trying to cover your tracks??? He hasn't told her not to be friends with this woman, just that he clearly doesn't want to personally be involved in the friendship or have it in his personal space. And you don't have to be badmouthing your friends parenting to come to an agreement with your own husband about why you might not want a friends child back in your home, there could be many reasons for that.A part of trusting your husband is trusting his judgement, if he says he gets a weird vibe from this person why would you ignore that for someone you have only befriended recently?Also none of this has to mean this woman has done anything wrong, it's very possible the husband has misread the signal, but pretending it's not equally possible that the husband has it bang on is ridiculous.

GoodChat · 01/05/2023 21:01

@HundredMilesAnHour OP asked her husband again for clarity on what happened, and he said the OP was present at the time.

HundredMilesAnHour · 01/05/2023 21:06

GoodChat · 01/05/2023 21:01

@HundredMilesAnHour OP asked her husband again for clarity on what happened, and he said the OP was present at the time.

So the OP was present when the "flirty look" happened but she missed it? Yet it was blatant enough to make the husband avoid the friend and tell the OP to cut the friendship? 😂I'm starting to think the kids need to go back to school.

MMmomDD · 01/05/2023 21:20

So - OP was actually there when the ‘flirty glance’ happened.
This woman was making her H uncomfortable IN FRONT of the OP.
OP - who has seen other friends flirt and banter with her H before, so OP not modest and oblivious enough to not recognise what flirting looks like.
Yet - OP herself didn’t see or pick up on anything…..

Now my guess is that it’s actually her H who found the friend attractive and doesn’t want her around to not give it away.

This is the only hypothesis that makes sense - given all the facts.

In any case - this is all weird enough - so I hope the lady in question runs a mile from this couple.

Backtothegym · 01/05/2023 21:36

MMmomDD · 01/05/2023 21:20

So - OP was actually there when the ‘flirty glance’ happened.
This woman was making her H uncomfortable IN FRONT of the OP.
OP - who has seen other friends flirt and banter with her H before, so OP not modest and oblivious enough to not recognise what flirting looks like.
Yet - OP herself didn’t see or pick up on anything…..

Now my guess is that it’s actually her H who found the friend attractive and doesn’t want her around to not give it away.

This is the only hypothesis that makes sense - given all the facts.

In any case - this is all weird enough - so I hope the lady in question runs a mile from this couple.

i Think he’s flirted, she’s rejected, he’s embarrassed at the rejection, and now he’s coming up with this look nonsense. And I suspect deep down the op knows it and that’s why she is keen to bin her off.

OhcantthInkofaname · 01/05/2023 21:42

Your DH is uncomfortable, believe him!

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 01/05/2023 21:43

Well I would not be issuing any invitations to her in future.

clpsmum · 01/05/2023 21:48

Your friend looked at your husband! I'm going against the grain here but don't think she is the one that's the shit friend here. She didn't hit on your husband

ReadersD1gest · 01/05/2023 21:52

Backtothegym · 01/05/2023 21:36

i Think he’s flirted, she’s rejected, he’s embarrassed at the rejection, and now he’s coming up with this look nonsense. And I suspect deep down the op knows it and that’s why she is keen to bin her off.

Show quote history

Agree.

Thisiscrazyshite · 01/05/2023 22:00

OP, I’d trust your DH. He has never reacted like this to other friends, I’m sure he knows a flirty look when he sees one and it made him uncomfortable.
I’d back away from her and make myself less available.
Shes not a friend.

ArcticSkewer · 01/05/2023 22:08

ReadersD1gest · 01/05/2023 21:52

Agree.

Show quote history

Me three

4plusthehound · 01/05/2023 22:16

ReadersD1gest · 01/05/2023 19:34

Specifically he said she looked at him in a way where he sensed something is not right, and having asked again it was when I was there too
That's not particularly specific... Something was Not Right? 😵‍💫. And you were actually there at the time? You op says it was when you weren't there.
All very confusing.

Leave her alone!

OP - trust your husband.

And yes, complicated friendships,indeed complicated relationships in general firmly belong in the land of youth in my opinion.

4plusthehound · 01/05/2023 22:18

ReadersD1gest · 01/05/2023 21:52

Agree.

Show quote history

That is a whole world of thinking on the back of the op.

ModestMoon · 01/05/2023 22:40

Yeah, she didn't hit on your husband. She looked at him in a way he perceived as flirty.

Merryoldgoat · 01/05/2023 22:57
comedy bang bang sex fingers GIF

Did she do this?

Merryoldgoat · 01/05/2023 22:58

The conjecture on this thread is insane!

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