56, what age should I expect for a new relationship

[LighterNights]

My husband and I split up recently, although I'm really not looking for a new relationship just yet, I do wonder what sort of age I should expect a new man to be. My husband was 4 years younger but was youthful looking too. I look at the guys my age and they just seem so old and I'm not really liking what I see. I know I'm probably looking at a general massive sweep and panicking about the negative. But, if you where dating in your mid fifties, what ages were your fellas?

Whichever age you feel attracted to and they feel attracted to you. I agree with you, many men after 50 let themselves go big time. If you're still good looking and take care of yourself, keep looking for younger guys. There are plenty out there who would be honoured to date you!

I guess I know that and I'm usually more open to ignoring age and just going for what I like but husband has dumped me 1 year into menopause for a woman who is exactly 20 years younger than me. Im feeling shaky.

oh OP, what an absolute wanking bastard bell end he is.

If you reversed the sexes in this advice you’d be destroyed

Just turned 50 and just started dating a really lovely bloke of 57. If I'm being honest with myself, I would have preferred someone my own age or fractionally younger but they're too busy chasing women of 35 to 40 ish, and I just can't compete 🤷‍♀️ good luck xx

The reverse has been happening, and accepted socially, for centuries. About time we stop blindly enabling it and start choosing what we want. And what's much more convenient for us. Men live shorter lives than women on average, it makes sense to choose a younger one.

@aurynne 👋👋

I am 56 and divorced 5 years ago. I am dating a man of 62, but a dated men my age and younger too.
I guess its more about how well you click with another person, try not to think about age.

That's his name on my phone now, lol

I'm not stuck to age, I'm happy to go older and as I've been married to younger for 25 years, I'm obviously open to that. It's about clicking, but I'm interested in locks too, shoot me, I'm shallow! I'm fit and healthy and look good and want the same in a partner, although laughing is one of my biggest turn ins.

I second this.

It's getting the buggers to look twice at you though. I'd think we'd all like young hot blokes 🤣 but even looking younger doesn't help me 🤷‍♀️ never mind... I can't see myself with a bloke over 60 at 53 though so sadly I know this has a shelf life.

I think the shelf life thing is what is scaring me, I look good enough now but it's only going one way now.
I said to my DS that I can't see myself with anyone over 60, then realised my husband will be 72 when his new woman is my age, made me hoot!

Observation from OLD, I’m mid 40s and would ideally like to date someone of a similar age. The truth is that a lot of men my age have an upper limit of 40 even though a lot of them don’t look good for their age. Not sure how successful they are? I assume they must have some interest. I’ve also noticed that they ‘are open to having more children’!

I would date older if the guy was in reasonable shape with a good sexual performance. This is obviously not immediately apparent.

It's about clicking, but I'm interested in looks too, shoot me, I'm shallow! I'm fit and healthy and look good and want the same in a partner, although laughing is one of my biggest turn ins

Good for you OP.

I'm in my 50s, DP is in his 60s. I met him 6 years ago via a music scene we're both into. He's good looking and fit, no paunch, doesn't look his age. I'm attracted to men who look as if they at least care about their looks and health. As do I - nothing major but I watch my weight, hair nails pedi done, tailored clothes only etc because looking nice makes me feel nice. If that's shallow so be it.

Just be open-minded go for what you want. I've never had trouble meeting men my age at all, even men a bit younger than me. The difficulty is meeting one you actually like I suppose but that's par for the course in life isn't it

Just be open-minded go for what you want. I've never had trouble meeting men my age at all, even men a bit younger than me. The difficulty is meeting one you actually like I suppose but that's par for the course in life isn't it

That's it, I want a connection on all levels and don't want to 'settle' for some but not all, I worry that means I'll be lonely.

I would date older if the guy was in reasonable shape with a good sexual performance. This is obviously not immediately apparent.

Having put up with husbands ED for the past few years, that last bit is sooooo important to me. Mind you I'm super happy I didn't have to deal with a man with ED when I was 36, fnar fnar, I doubt she'll do it for long.

This is MN - men are seemingly very much the enemy 😅

This is so grim.

My husband was a year older than me. I left him and started dating a man 11 years younger .
His age is irrelevant though. I just love him

@LighterNights

No harm you wanting a younger more youthful guy.
You just need to find men who are actively looking for an older woman.

Good luck, no doubt you'll find what you're looking for.

To get around the typical OLD statements, where most men won't say any number above their own age & most women won't say any number > 3 years below their own age: I'd look into 90 second speed dating events. With a broad range, say 40-65. If nothing else you have an exciting social night out.

Oh i should add i didnt leave my marriage for a new guy... the two issues were very separate

@LighterNights I'm 61 and feel exactly the same (and same situation too, youngercwell kept husband) which is why I know if we separate- I won't bother actually looking. If someone else cropped up in real life- great!

I am 54 my last boyfriend was 56 and looked a very good 56 not younger but good for his age. I really make an effort with my appearance, am quite vain ! He dressed very nicely. I recently met another guy at 61, very well dressed and fit so that makes a big difference.

In my friendship circle, all the women but one have a younger partner. One of us has just ended a casual relationship with a 32 year old, another has been in a relationship for 4 years with someone 23 years younger. Neither of these were OLD matches, both met the men 'naturally'. Admittedly these are outliers. The others have partners ranging from 42 to 6 months her junior. We are all women aged 52-54.