56, what age should I expect for a new relationship

[LighterNights]

My husband and I split up recently, although I'm really not looking for a new relationship just yet, I do wonder what sort of age I should expect a new man to be. My husband was 4 years younger but was youthful looking too. I look at the guys my age and they just seem so old and I'm not really liking what I see. I know I'm probably looking at a general massive sweep and panicking about the negative. But, if you where dating in your mid fifties, what ages were your fellas?

Err...

This is filling me with hope - I've just turned 53, recently been dumped and feeling over the hill and past it.

He may not have it now he's in a new relationship.
Just go and meet people. Don't fixate on age. You wouldn't think much of a man who fixated on your age. All those men saying no to women over 50 without even meeting them. It's no different to women saying this about men.

I disagree and i am a woman. Some women look after themselves. Some completely go 'to seed' as you so charmingly put it. For every man who has become scruffy and unkempt there is a woman who has blobbed into matronly menopause.

Some men and some women stay fit, healthy and vibrant. Some men and some women don't. I don't see it more one way than the other. At my gym there are multiple more fit older men working out than older women.

It's not one rule for one and not the other. If it's crass and rude for men to turn their noses up at menopausal women then it's equally crass age rude for women to turn their noses up at aging men.

@tridento I never said "gone to seed", that was the narc arguing with me.
We'll agree to disagree on the equal numbers of men and women.
My point was that both age yet men feel entitled to younger whereas women don't.

This.

Online dating is a bit warped, and although people can use it successfully, either use it sparingly or as 10-20% of your social effort as it can be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster (especially if you're feeling vulnerable or sensitive).

Working on your own happiness and social networks and goals and then seeing who aligns with you and your lifestyle and makes you feel good is probably better than trying to "get" someone or a type of person in particular.

(whether older/younger/more or less successful or pretty/handsome).

There's plenty of people who have realistic expectations, want companionship to enhance their life, and seem to succeed.

Are all couples we see perfect looking or young or glamorous?

@Disturbia81 reading this thread, there are plenty of women saying they wouldn't deign to date a man older than themselves and that they would only settle for someone younger

Yeah there's a few, they are the anomaly though.
Anyway agree to disagree, we think what we think.

It’s not encouraging. I’m in my late forties and married but suspect that I might not be forever…Coming to terms with it, but trying to mentally plan a future.

Has anyone observed the phenomenon of people who ‘line people up’ in the friend-zone, then as soon as they find themselves single….Bam! They are with one of them.

Or the ‘Friends Reunited’ pairing? Perhaps they have reached out to an old flame via social media and suddenly the barriers are down.

Has anyone observed these phenomena or perhaps even had some success in that way?

I'm fairly sure they sell smelling salts on Deliveroo.😂

Yes, definitely an advanced case of having the vapours - I think industrial strength ones are needed though.

I bet if you've managed to have any relationships in your life you've been horrific to be with.

Blimey, Pot. Kettle. Black.

The OP is long gone as this thread is from 2023.
The answer is, for me date your own age or a little younger.
I'd sooner stay single than date a much older man.

Reading all these comments there's such disparity in what people expect /are looking for...some of us women over 60 would be really happy with just companionship at this stage in life..

Well said 👏 agree @GardenersRunner