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Original poster

Me .. 49, him 37... A I mad to consider this?

112 replies

branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 11:14

I met a man online. I am nearly 50 , divorced, teens at home who are relatively independent.
He is 37, single , never married, no kids .
I am Independent also but work full time so am limited time wise.
I would love a casual relationship where we meet every now and again for dinner and drinks and overnights.

We are face timing a lot , texting a bit every day and chat on the phone .
We plan to meet next week for an early dinner.
I'm going to stay at the hotel as it was a gift and I fancy a night away on my own .

Firstly am I nuts to consider this with a man 23 years my
Junior and secondly if there were sparks would I be nuts to invite him to stay over with me?

He is very into this and is open and honest about it all. The only hang up I have is that I'm flabby and unfit and very average looking. He is the exact opposite. So I'm a bit Confused
I've the research done on him btw so he is exactly who he says he is .

OP posts:
Spidey66 · 26/04/2023 11:16

He's not 23 years younger, he's 12 years younger?!?

Twosticksandstring · 26/04/2023 11:20

Is he 27 or 37?

samestyle · 26/04/2023 11:21

Why not if you don't mind casual, he will be shagging others, as you might, can't see why age is a problem if you don't want long term with each other.

Aylestone · 26/04/2023 11:22

How much younger is he??

TomatoSandwiches · 26/04/2023 11:22

I would worry he has a fetish for older ladies tbh.

Doggymummar · 26/04/2023 11:22

That's the trouble when you make stuff up, can't keep your story straight! Probably a typo

Original poster
branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 11:29

My apologies.
He is 12 years younger , that was a typo .
Nasty comments unwelcome....Feel free to scroll by

OP posts:
Original poster
branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 11:42

He has told me that he is more attracted to older ladies.. in every way ...
Is that an actual fetish?
I thought it was just a preference ?
Genuine question , thanks .

OP posts:
caringcarer · 26/04/2023 11:42

My son is 36 and single and does not want children. He is in a very happy in a relationship with a lovely lady who has two grown up children. She is 42. They are very compatible and like the same things. He is fine with her children. The youngest is at Uni. He said all the woman he met who were his age or a few years younger either wanted children or have small children. I say whatever makes you happy. My dh is 4 years younger than me.

Newgolddream70 · 26/04/2023 11:43

12 years is nothing and you're both grown ups so go for it and enjoy 😊

Original poster
branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 11:52

Is being attracted to an older woman actually a fetish ??!😳

OP posts:
whyisitalwayswindy · 26/04/2023 11:57

It can be but a 12 year age gap I doubt would fall into that.

If you're happy and he's happy then enjoy and see where it goes.

Blamunge · 26/04/2023 11:58

If he’s happy and you’re happy what’s the problem? The only thing that might be an issue is if he decides he wants kids. Or if he just wants a fling with an older woman before settling down with someone younger. But if you only want a casual relationship anyway then that doesn’t matter.

PrettyMaybug · 26/04/2023 12:01

I would wonder WHY a fit and handsome 37 y.o man (as you describe him) is interested in a physically unappealing flabby almost 50 y.o. woman (as you describe yourself!) I must admit. I would wonder if it was a fetish/on his bucket list or something.

CharlotteRose90 · 26/04/2023 12:03

At his age he’s probably wanting just sex so if you’re happy with that go ahead. I’d give it 6 months before he decides he wants to have kids and a future

Nat6999 · 26/04/2023 12:04

My late dp was 14 years younger than me, it never caused a problem.

chocolatehoovering · 26/04/2023 12:06

I would love a casual relationship where we meet every now and again for dinner and drinks and overnights
Well if that's what you want and what he wants too, then fine.

I would be wary if you were looking for something more serious. He's 37, never married, single, no kids - I'd be wondering then if at some point he'd decide he did want kids and then leave to be someone else OR if he's basically a single guy, perhaps a bit of a player, who has flings now and then.

But, if you just want something casual, then go ahead, taking the usual precautions of course in case he's a psycho.

I wouldn't mention to him that you are staying in the hotel as that might increase his expectations of a shag before the date even begins. If things progress and you feel safe with him and so on and there's a spark and you want to take things further you can mention it later on.

loislovesstewie · 26/04/2023 12:10

I wouldn't, but that's because I genuinely think that men often bugger off to a younger woman when the age difference starts to show more. I'm not speaking from experience but from observation. I've seen quite a few chaps suddenly leave when the woman reaches a certain age and they always find a woman much younger than them. If you are happy with no strings and casual then I'd say OK, but I would not be thinking it would last.

hattie43 · 26/04/2023 12:10

I find it sad there is still so much hate and suspicion for men younger than woman relationships , no-one bats an eyelid if the woman is younger .
Maybe this is a younger man who meets nothing but vacuous insta obsessed younger women and wants something more meaningful and less shallow .
Nobody really knows and I would say finding someone compatible is hard enough whatever age so go with the flow and see what happens .

PollyAmour · 26/04/2023 12:13

I don't think the age gap is too much, although if he decides he does want children at some stage, he's going to be looking for a younger woman.

Some men do have a fetish for older women though.

dramalynn · 26/04/2023 12:13

branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 11:42

He has told me that he is more attracted to older ladies.. in every way ...
Is that an actual fetish?
I thought it was just a preference ?
Genuine question , thanks .

I don't think 12 years is a big enough age gap for a fetish, but I think people were going by your typo.

My friend (47) is married to a man ten years younger. I'd never have guessed though as he looks a similar age.

ToTheMax0 · 26/04/2023 12:15

He's not young at 37. It's fine.

dramalynn · 26/04/2023 12:15

He has told me that he is more attracted to older ladies.. in every way ..

Though I don't really like the phrasing there for some reason. Older ladies? Odd, unless it's just me.

Roselilly36 · 26/04/2023 12:17

Good for you OP, go for it, it will either work or it won’t, but without trying you will never know. A lot of men, don’t seem bothered about having children. I know for a fact DH would have never said, let’s have a baby, he was very happy with us just being a couple. Just keep it lighthearted and see how it goes. Good luck.

Crazykatie · 26/04/2023 12:17

Your attraction is possibly that you’re past child bearing and he doesn’t want kids, if he is going to become your soul mate, date him for a few months. Don’t worry about you “flab”, it’s only a problem if you have a hang up about it, if he wanted “arm candy” he would he would be looking much younger

Tip
Keep him well away from your teen kids, girls or boys a can be a nightmare.