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Relationships

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Original poster

Me .. 49, him 37... A I mad to consider this?

112 replies

branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 11:14

I met a man online. I am nearly 50 , divorced, teens at home who are relatively independent.
He is 37, single , never married, no kids .
I am Independent also but work full time so am limited time wise.
I would love a casual relationship where we meet every now and again for dinner and drinks and overnights.

We are face timing a lot , texting a bit every day and chat on the phone .
We plan to meet next week for an early dinner.
I'm going to stay at the hotel as it was a gift and I fancy a night away on my own .

Firstly am I nuts to consider this with a man 23 years my
Junior and secondly if there were sparks would I be nuts to invite him to stay over with me?

He is very into this and is open and honest about it all. The only hang up I have is that I'm flabby and unfit and very average looking. He is the exact opposite. So I'm a bit
I've the research done on him btw so he is exactly who he says he is .

OP posts:

bert3400 · 27/04/2023 06:37

My DH is 11 years younger than me, never ever has it been a problem. We are celebrating 25 Years together and are totally still in love. He is an amazing man who is an brilliant dad . If it feel right go for it

bert3400 · 27/04/2023 06:42

Just read the OP update about dick pics ... absolutely not . I would run and block

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 27/04/2023 06:44

I don’t think the pics are that weird given this is just a sex hook up and you are meeting at a hotel for casual sex. If you were looking to date or for a relationship, then I think pics are really a poor choice but for a sex hook up? Had you been sexting with him?

Gigglemous · 27/04/2023 06:59

Really depends on him as a person. My DP is 10 years younger. He's an old soul, own business etc, we love the same bands, our ideas of a night out or a night in at home are the same. He doesn't necessarily 'prefer' older women, we just ended up being fiercly attracted to one another.

That being said, if I was online dating I would never have approached anyone younger than me. So thank the stars I met him at work first!

If you have a connection, meet in person and find out if its real. Worst case scenario, you still have a lovely hotel stay you can enjoy x

Channellingsophistication · 27/04/2023 07:33

I dont think age gap an issue at all and dont see as a fetish either. I think the unsolicited photos more of a concern….

QueefQueen80s · 27/04/2023 10:19

SimonsCow · 27/04/2023 06:31

Listen to yourselves! A fetish or a bucket list shag?! Give over - she’s only 12 years older. If this was an older male dating a younger female nobody would bat an eyelid. He knows that at your age there will be no more children and if that’s fine with him and you only want something casual anyway then great.

The photo thing is a completely different story. Run for the hills.

I don't like age gaps in any sex but yes the fetish thing is really weird.
If younger women can be attracted to older men then of course younger men can be attracted to older women.

AbsoIutelyLovely · 27/04/2023 11:00

It’s the seediness OP.
not the age gap.

PollyAmour · 27/04/2023 12:20

Ugh, the dick pics would have had me blocking him immediately.

He may well think that older women will be 'grateful' for the attention of a younger man, he may be unable to relate to people his own age, he may just want a shag buddy without the complications of contraception.

Whatever his intentions, he sounds like a sleazy creep and I would kick him to the kerb and find someone else.

idrinkandiknowthings · 27/04/2023 13:38

Well I say bloody lucky you and go for it!

VegemiteSammich · 28/04/2023 10:27

I know a couple he’s 29 she’s 51. They don’t care what others think.

go for it. Your only 50 once

123andgo · 28/04/2023 11:03

Watching this with interest. I had a guy showing interest in me recently, only 3 year gap but he did not know if and how much older I was. I do look flabby these days as have put on a huge amount of weight in the past couple of years. He was in a relationship with a woman 10 years older than him, with adult children. He didn’t want to move closer to her so they broke up. He was back then in his late 30’s so it makes me wonder if these guys prefer older women as they do not have to discuss marriage, having kids, etc. He was telling g me he was ready to settle down, have someone to leave his worldly possessions to… A load of bs in my opinion. I would say you have nothing to lose OP, however after mentioning the inappropriate photos I would say don’t!!! It makes me wonder if it’s the same guy:))) we only know what they tell us. It doesn’t mean it’s true😃

Clementine183 · 28/04/2023 11:51

He does sound like he's after a hook-up, but to be fair, it kind of sounds like this is what OP is after too? "Something casual" usually does revolve around sex.

Unsolicited pics are not great but I'm guessing he picked up the casual vibe?! It sounds like he's got the message that you don't want that and has stopped it. If you want sex and not a lot else then go for it I say!...

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