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Original poster

Me .. 49, him 37... A I mad to consider this?

112 replies

branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 11:14

I met a man online. I am nearly 50 , divorced, teens at home who are relatively independent.
He is 37, single , never married, no kids .
I am Independent also but work full time so am limited time wise.
I would love a casual relationship where we meet every now and again for dinner and drinks and overnights.

We are face timing a lot , texting a bit every day and chat on the phone .
We plan to meet next week for an early dinner.
I'm going to stay at the hotel as it was a gift and I fancy a night away on my own .

Firstly am I nuts to consider this with a man 23 years my
Junior and secondly if there were sparks would I be nuts to invite him to stay over with me?

He is very into this and is open and honest about it all. The only hang up I have is that I'm flabby and unfit and very average looking. He is the exact opposite. So I'm a bit Confused
I've the research done on him btw so he is exactly who he says he is .

OP posts:
Newgolddream70 · 26/04/2023 13:35

Now I've seen your update OP I retract what I said earlier.

Original poster
branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 13:40

I get the impression that he thought these pics and videoes would turn me on

OP posts:
Original poster
branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 13:41

Posted too soon.. but they've done the opposite .
Then he started to look for Compliments about his bits.
This is a brand new world to me tbh.

OP posts:
Duckingella · 26/04/2023 13:43

My friend who's 29 wife is 39:she has two sons who are 19 and 22.

Doesn't bother my friend in the slightest;they've been together 10 years and married for 5 years.

Mortenharkettsgirl · 26/04/2023 13:44

Dear OP,
Bypass this guy as he sent you unsolicited photos which is a dealbreaker. However, his age is by no means a deal breaker. I am 46 and would like to experience the stamina of a young buck if I'm honest. Haven't gone OLD yet but there is a house renovation going on up the road and one of the young lads winked at me yesterday as I was passing in my car.lol

OP, Don't criticise yourself about your looks. There are plenty of people who will do that for you. Instead think of yourself as worthy and stunningly attractive. Life is too short for self loathing.

SittingOnTheChair · 26/04/2023 13:47

If any man send you unsolicited pictures, I block them on the spot. Always. Know you boundaries OP and stick to them.

For me, it's not the pictures themselves. It's that usually someone who sends unwanted pictures is a little bit thick and socially unaware. It always means that there is nothing special about you - imagine how many times he has sent those pictures!

That aside if you just want a hook up then why not?

The age gap... it would be a no from me. My own son is only 17 years younger than me so it makes me feel a little sickly.

sofamarathon · 26/04/2023 13:48

Sorry, can you clarify, he sent you videos? Have you met in person yet?

Beautiful3 · 26/04/2023 13:49

37 is okay.

sofamarathon · 26/04/2023 13:49

branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 13:41

Posted too soon.. but they've done the opposite .
Then he started to look for Compliments about his bits.
This is a brand new world to me tbh.

Compliments on his bits?

No. No way. Sounds like an insecure sex pest

Original poster
branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 13:50

Yes he sent unsolicited videos and I told him to stop or I'd block him so he did .

OP posts:
Mabelface · 26/04/2023 13:56

Urgh. Block him. You owe him nothing and you don't need to keep talking to him. Forget being nice.

adriftabroad · 26/04/2023 13:59

Good God no.He is degrading you already.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 26/04/2023 13:59

branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 11:52

Is being attracted to an older woman actually a fetish ??!😳

Not for an age gap like yours. It's more...the grannies.

pontipinemum · 26/04/2023 14:14

The age difference is fine. But he sounds like a bit 'ummmm' unsavoury might be the word. I wouldn't take it any further based on his actions, not his age.

Londontoderby · 26/04/2023 14:24

You should be careful, he sounds like a player and just using you.

wrinkleintime · 26/04/2023 14:27

12 years is not that big of an age gap. I don't see the problem. If it were an older man/ younger woman no one would bat an eyelid.

wrinkleintime · 26/04/2023 14:29

Sorry, I just saw the updates about the dodgy pics/ vids... yeah, steer clear but not because of the age gap. Because of how he is behaving.

amylou8 · 26/04/2023 14:35

It's a smaller age gap than between me and DP, although the man being older for some reason seems to be more acceptable. Not causing us a problem at the moment (46/60), if anything he's fitter and has more get up and go than me. Go into it without any expectations and see what happens.

SwapTheYforaD · 26/04/2023 14:46

My dad is 11 years younger than my stepmom and it's not an issue at all!

Go for it. Why not?!

ElizabethinherGermanGarden · 26/04/2023 14:48

12 years is nothing in terms of how you get on together, spending time together, chemistry etc. However, it's not nothing in terms of how feelings about children can change. If you were to get serious and then he decided he couldn't live without having kids, that might be an issue later down the line.

Having said that, for a fling...absolutely!

chocolatehoovering · 26/04/2023 15:13

branflakefloat · 26/04/2023 13:50

Yes he sent unsolicited videos and I told him to stop or I'd block him so he did .

So why on earth would you want to meet him?
He was inappropriate. You asked him to stop and at least he did stop. But that was inappropriate in the first place and he shouldn't have done.
He's a creep.

legrandcolbert · 26/04/2023 15:26

I'm a few years young the OP. Quite a few of my boyfriends have been younger than me, never more than a decade though.

Would I be open to the man you're asking about? No. This is because of the unsolicited pictures and videos. It would be a red flag and make me wonder what other boundaries he might be looking to push.

He's clearly showing you not only who he really is, but a pattern of behaviour he displays when getting to know someone. I have no doubt he does this to anyone and everyone, and when he gets no interest, he moves on to the next.

Throw this one back. Nothing good will come of it.

confessionstoday · 26/04/2023 15:43

I'm 47 and seeing a guy who is 34. It's probably not going anywhere but the sex is amazing and I'm having fun.
There is no expectation but he just says age is just a number.
Enjoy it

confessionstoday · 26/04/2023 15:44

Oh and then I read about the pics. Yuck

EmmaGrundyForPM · 26/04/2023 15:48

A 12 year gap is not that extreme. One of my best friends met her husband when she was 24 and he was 36, and no one batted an eyelid at it.