Tell me about laughable behaviour from your ex

[Phalangee]

Just reminiscing of the things that thankfully did not work out in the past!

I had an ex who was overall a nice lad but a bit of head in the clouds type.

Early 20s when we met. HE brought up marriage / engagement all the time and we agreed we’d move in together after getting engaged. We honestly talked to death wedding plans, rings etc and it was largely from him.

He had a friend I didn’t like who talked in his ear and he did a U turn on me saying he wanted to move in together before getting engaged to ‘test living together’. I didn’t like this at all as why tell someone you want to marry them VOLUNTARILY but then essentially suddenly say you want to ‘test’ if the relationship will work long term 🤔. It was a big red flag for me that he’d go back on something big like that and I certainly didn’t want to move in together with someone who would do that. What it he did a u turn on wanting kids? (Spoiler - he told me after we broke up that he didn’t and was only doing it for me 😂)

I don’t agree with my young self about waiting to live together before engagement but in retrospect I’m very proud of myself for going with my gut and common sense. His parents thought I was the devil for not moving in with him too. 🤔. From his parents house. 👀

I’m soon to be married and we live together and didn’t talk to death engagement or marriage (proposal was a complete shock) which proves to me talk is cheap and just watch what your partner actually does.

Please share the great escapes you have. Particular those where everyone thought you were mad for having standards and not giving into your ex’s silly behaviour 🤣

A lot of women live with men purely for financial reasons because they don't earn enough money to run a household on one income.

You say you've insisted on marriage and yet here you are - living with someone without being married.

My ex took the children on holiday - first time he'd had them overnight in a couple of years. He brought them back and shouted at me, "Do you know how much they eat?" Uh yeah, I do, actually.

I have another wedding-related one.

Ex who was so concerned about having his perfect wedding that he forgot I would also need to be happy with it. We broke up.

My ex was going off on one cause I left our daughter in the house whilst I was shopping, at 4pm. He said BUT SHES ONLY 11!! He sat outside my house waiting for me to get back, cause it wasn't safe and proceeded to go on with himself about how stupid it was and that I could get in trouble, that I'm putting her at risk. And if something happened to her then it's my fault, and all that jazz. That was until I told him our daughter is 14 🤷‍♀️

Oh my! 😱

I can only imagine the outrage 🙄

Was married for 15 years , we grew apart as married too young , wanted different things from life etc .
He divorced me and on his statement had put he was a good husband and that a few years previously would have continued to support me and stay with me had my breast cancer scare ( was a non malignant lump , removed and thankfully ok ) had turned out to be cancer . Gee thanks for that good husband .

I've told this story under several usernames over the years but my ex, on a freezing cold day in December when I'd been stuck at the bus stop in the rain and then had to walk home when the bus failed to turn up, HID THE FUCKING BATH PLUG so I couldn't have a bath (we didn't have a shower at the time). That was the last straw. I left him a few months later.

I think the most memorable one is his outrage at my now husband (then boyfriend, rather than partner) meeting me at DD's school where there was a y7 meeting for new parents, because it was closer to the station than my house, and saved him hanging around waiting for me to finish or sitting on my doorstep waiting for me to get back. He didn't attend the meeting in a parental capacity, and exH wasn't there and never planned to attend anyway!

Another gem about six months later is that exH thought now DH was living with me - he wasn't, and I had my own house and mortgage - and suggested that DH should show him his bank statements to prove that he wasn't 🙄

As you can tell, I'm well out of that one! DD is now 23 so I am pleased to have nothing to do with exH (and DH and I don't even live in the same country as exH, although we do now live together, shock horror).

My ex once told me that the reason he never comforted me when I cried was because it would just encourage me to cry more.

It turned out that once I got rid of him, I had a lot less to actually cry about.

Mine bought our children to me while I was at work except he insisted I finished at four when I didn't I finished at FIVE he flipped out calling me and demanding I get the kids I said not till I finish work well you finish at FOUR mate I finish at five like I told you earlier he sat in the car park with them calling me allsorts of bad parent

He had picked them up at three thirty

He now wonders why the kids CBA to see him

It really does make you wonder what actual thought processes are going through their heads when they do things like this. I mean, he literally sat there and planned it and thought it through - spiteful.

My ex used to tell me it turned him on when I cried which is why he made me cry all the time 😳

"My ex used to tell me it turned him on when I cried which is why he made me cry all the time 😳"

My ex used to get turned on when I cried too and a supposed comforting hug would turn into his pestering for sex... very weird and I often wonder about the psychology behind it 🤮

My ex was pestering me to cancel the child maintenance that got taken out of his doll money (£5 a week back then) I told him no as if I done that then she wouldn’t see a penny from him he then went on to say that with that money I need to send her to him with a packed lunch as that’s what it’s meant for 😂😂😂

I also had an ex insist he was under police protection he wasnt allowed at one family members house because of this but his other family members house was fine the flaw in this story? They were ten houses away from each other same road same side both lived there for fifty ish years EVERYONE new they were related and he was staying there

When I didn't believe him he said he was staying in Devon 400 miles away except he wasn't he was always here in our home town

To this day ive no CLUE why he said this

I've posted about this before but the boyfriend I had at uni was a musician. He barely spent any time on his studies and had no plans to get a job after graduation because "music is my job". He was a nice guy but utterly deluded and rather entitled. When I told him I was ending things he was gobsmacked. His parting retort was "when I'm famous you'll see me on MTV and you'll wish you were still with me". Spoiler - He isn't and I don't!

This thread isn’t about whether living together before marriage / engagement is right or wrong. Saying that I think it doesn’t matter that much, it’s more about choosing the right person on the same page.

The decisions I’ve made have turned out well for me - people should do what’s right for them :)

Bullet avoided!

XH told me that:

• I was controlling and never let him do anything. He went on to say that he didn't dare do anything in case I got cross with him. Readers, if I had this much power and control over him (NB I don't!), he would have remained sober and clean (of alcohol and drugs). He would have completed his rehab. He would have been a supportive husband and father. He wouldn't have been a vile and abusive bastard that ended up requiring me to call the police on him multiple times as I was scared of his behaviour). I did point this out to him.

-all he dreamed of doing was to have his own place where he could do what he wanted, when he wanted (i.e. get pissed, get high and smoke all day without a wife or kids hindering him). Well, he got that when he split with OW. He kept trying to come back to me, but I told him to sling his hook (after all, he's got what he wanted!).

-OW understands and supports him better than anyone etc etc. They lasted less than 4 months after I found out about her. Then he came moaning to me about what a nightmare she was.

-he told me off for not letting him know about school events for DC. After we split. He got the emails (just like I do).

-during covid, and during lockdown, keyworker kids could go into school (but there was no wraparound care). He said he'd do drop off and pick up, and watch DC until I finished work (he wasn't working, and I said I'd even pay for his bus pass so he could pick up DC from school, and that he could eat with us once I got back from work - so it would have only cost him some of his time). This lasted a week and a half.

Hahaha wowwww 🏅

I think possibly the worst one was my abusive (and horribly racist) ex - dds dad- who told me through heaving and snotty tears when I finally left him that he would have to go and find a Thai woman as any white woman would just remind him of me. 🙄🙄🙄🙄😳😳😳

And go to Thailand he did.

He was just an all round arsehole.

Oh my god! I once had a boyfriend similar to this!

I bet he was an arse on many other ways too right?

My exs have been total dickheads but the prize has to go to dps ex

I don't say this lightly about any woman but she's a nutter

He left her and she really ramped up the abuse

In the marriage she had stabbed him,accused him of endless affairs (which hadn't happened),gave up work and spent money like it was her last day on earth-she got them into thousands of pounds worth of debt-which he cleared-twice-so much more but I don't want to hog the thread

She tried to push his family and friends away and when that failed she made it as hard as she could

Took the piss out of dps dead sister and played on her (minor) disability

Anyway,after taking years of endless and very nasty phone calls-screaming at us that we 'must be living together!' (Wed been together a week and its fuck all to do with her) 'ill make sure you never get married' (still no plans to tie the knot) 'ill tell the police you raped me in our marriage!'(untrue) 'ill get dd to tell the police that you touched her!(bollocks) 'He sees you at the weekend but is back in my bed on the Monday!' (Hahaha)

She tried every trick in the book to break us up and failed-she told her (then 7 year old) what a bj and anal sex was just to get at dp

If I saw her in the street she'd run away and scream at me from a safe distance

Anyway,their older dd came to live with us (briefly-the apple didn't fall far from the tree) she had the neck to ring us up and try to tell me she was ringing the police and taking me to court

The reason?

I walked through my own doors in my own house (the house that we own,she's never stepped foot in nor paid any bills on)

I'd walked from our lounge into the kitchen and then to bed and her dd had told her this and for some reason it pissed her off-hence she did ring the police (she actually rang 999)

I never heard a thing from them-i just hope it gave them a good laugh down the station

The relief when the divorce finally came through was overwhelming-just the courts to go for custody of younger dd

She swears she'll never do it again-then as soon as ss back off,up it starts again

Oh my god! I once had a boyfriend similar to this!

I bet he was an arse on many other ways too right?

Too many to list! Multiple emotional affairs, possibly physical ones but I never found any evidence despite having suspicions, porn addiction, lying about me to his family, saying I forced him into becoming a dad (mainly to get the sympathy from all these other women he was talking to) and so much more. All the while he had ground me down so much I just accepted it for years and years as I wanted to "keep the family together" and honestly thought everything he did was my fault.

The best thing I ever did was find the strength to kick him out. It was reading various posts on MN for years that made me realise it really was him and not me. I never posted here about it but over the years there have been so many other women in basically the same position that I had.

I'm now happily married to my amazing DH, who has really shown me how a proper relationship should be and has been an amazing step-dad to both DC. Their dad has now moved a few hours away and only sees them when he can be arsed, a few times a year at most. The kids still think he's amazing as I hid a lot of stuff from them, even through the break-up and he sends them enough random gifts in the post that they don't see that he's not properly there for them. I know they'll see it eventually.

Anyway, I've highjacked this too much. Back to our regular programming.