Tell me about laughable behaviour from your ex

[Phalangee]

Just reminiscing of the things that thankfully did not work out in the past!

I had an ex who was overall a nice lad but a bit of head in the clouds type.

Early 20s when we met. HE brought up marriage / engagement all the time and we agreed we’d move in together after getting engaged. We honestly talked to death wedding plans, rings etc and it was largely from him.

He had a friend I didn’t like who talked in his ear and he did a U turn on me saying he wanted to move in together before getting engaged to ‘test living together’. I didn’t like this at all as why tell someone you want to marry them VOLUNTARILY but then essentially suddenly say you want to ‘test’ if the relationship will work long term 🤔. It was a big red flag for me that he’d go back on something big like that and I certainly didn’t want to move in together with someone who would do that. What it he did a u turn on wanting kids? (Spoiler - he told me after we broke up that he didn’t and was only doing it for me 😂)

I don’t agree with my young self about waiting to live together before engagement but in retrospect I’m very proud of myself for going with my gut and common sense. His parents thought I was the devil for not moving in with him too. 🤔. From his parents house. 👀

I’m soon to be married and we live together and didn’t talk to death engagement or marriage (proposal was a complete shock) which proves to me talk is cheap and just watch what your partner actually does.

Please share the great escapes you have. Particular those where everyone thought you were mad for having standards and not giving into your ex’s silly behaviour 🤣

Naked @TealSapphire?! As in put them in the car with nothing on? What a cunt.

Thought my ex was bad sending his kids home in their school uniform as he was paranoid hai ex would steal his clothes and she had already 'trapped him and stolen all his money' 😒

Yes, I shit you not. Butt naked. Now he either sends them home in their school uniform or if they are wearing 'his' clothes they have to come inside and get changed and hand his stuff back.

Wow. On one hand I a glad to hear my ex wasn't the only prick like this, but on the other hand- poor kids!

These stories are 😮

Oh hahah actually I'd forgotten about my ex Facebook messaging me when we were selling the marital home I'd been forced out of, that I needed to come and get my share of the furniture because he wasn't "giving me storage for free"

He was sitting in a 5 bed house, small mortgage less than the cost of my rent on a 3 bed flat. Basically living off my equity.

Plus he'd spent thousands of our joint savings on online cyber sex with cam girls.

I messaged him back the above going "are you joking? Doesn’t balance those scales does it?" Message was "unopened"

3 weeks later, he got in touch via email to say his fb had been hacked so he hadn't seen any messages from me. Absolute knob.

Love this 😂

My ex does this
I'm not sure why clothes become such a battle ground, I realised over time the school uniform at my house that I refresh every autumn, was going to ex on the kids and in return I was getting ripped/stained/too small back.

I ended up being PA and making sure I sent them back to him in the same but I HATE IT. So unfair on the kids.

Literally who has the time or energy to be so petty? Why?

My exh gave the fact I was not enough like Bridget Jones in his reasons for being unhappy in the marriage. He specifically referenced the scene when she runs down the street in her knickers in the snow.

He cited many women in films I did not behave like - I didn't gaze at him the way Leia looks at Han; I didn't dance around the bedroom in underwear like some woman in another film. In all, I wasn't meek, quiet and defential. I pointed out to him that, when these women weren't doing these things, they were also making household budgets, washing up akd cooking dinner - or they would had they been real and not fictional characters...

I didn't make sure I wore fresh (or any) make up and was dressed nicely wearing heels when he returned from work in the evening (like women in films).

He also criticised the way I responded to him. Not tone but, "You should have said..." I pointed out that I wasn't working to a script that he'd written and had own thoughts 🤷🏻‍♀️

This all came out when we split up.

He was a prick 😅

Oh, and he also started saying that I needed to do 50% of the pick ups and drop offs to his house when the children had contact with him.

I told him that I thought going 50/50 on everything was a fantastic idea and we should meet to discuss it.

He never got back to me...

So many things oh my god.

Called our toddler a cunt the night his sister was born because he was hungover and the toddler wouldn't sleep.

Took an E and fell asleep on the sofa and was sick all over himself.

Told our now teenagers that I had a termination (true) and cheated on him with my now husband (false).

Poisoned our child against me (using the above bullshit as a starting point) so now my child doesn't live with me.

Generally acts like a know it all fuck knuckle and told our eldest that because he was self harming he wouldn't take him on hols to see his grandparents.

Went on a few dates with a man I’d met OLD (this was 2016), he was 33. During our last date i mentioned that I’d be out of the country for the next week as I was going to New York. We discussed New York and he said he’d visited when he was 8 and had a really strong memory of visiting the Twin Towers with his family and couldn’t wait to go go back with his kids one day. I then made some comment about 9/11 to which he replied ‘what do you mean?’

After a few more minutes of conversation it turns out he’d never heard of the attack on the Twin Towers????? I showed him some video clips and he was astounded and couldn’t believe it has ‘passed him by’

@AdamRyan my new uniforms seem to disappear too! The thing is, it affects the kids. Yes, those kids they are on Facebook saying are 'their life'.

My favourite was a poster on a previous thread. Ex's solicitor had sent a letter asking her to remove her new blinds as he couldn't see in the windows 😅

Lol!

I'm sure he was just as dreamy as Mark Darcy and Han Solo as well.

What a childlike way of thinking.

Many years ago I was in a relationship with a narcissistic asshat, manipulative and emotionally abusive. I eventually had enough and left him. A few months later I was on a date with a guy and one of my exs friends saw us, about 20 mins later my ex comes running up to us both and asks me what the f*k I think I'm doing! All I could do was laugh at him and tell him to F off. Turns out he'd told no one we'd split up, then told everyone he'd just found me cheating on him and now we're done 😂

@AhWellNevermindThen this is what happens when man-babies have too much screen time 😂

Had an ex that had bought me a phone at the time because I couldn't afford a new one , I was quite content with what I had but he insisted on buying me a phone (the catch was he actually bought a phone with a 2 year contract attached to it and I didn't know) and he was paying for it himself.

I said fine. After I left him for many reasons, alcoholism being one he proceeded to verbal abuse me over the phone relentlessly and demanded the phone back along with every penny he had spent on seeing me and eating out etc. I did give the phone back... however that's when he told me quite shocked that he had to keep paying for the contract of the phone followed by more verbal abuse.

This same man on our first intimate moment turned to me and said "I only lay down on my back for sex because of my knee" Enough to say I had to do all the "work" while he lay there. Also said that I had faked my orgasm and we had this whole discussion about how he wasn't convinced ( I actually did orgasm but had to do it to myself cause someone was immobile) ... all this on our very first shag... lovely.

Left him after another drunk call from him literally telling me how I should act, and how I was his to keep bla bla bla... nah I'm alright.

Ex BF, cheated on me, spent all his (middle aged) money on cringey tattoos and motorbikes (I had a bike too- but one I could afford 😏)- and then had to cheek to demand money from me after the split so he could afford a house.
Guess the new GF saw the fuckery in the picture long before I did.
Fuck the fuck off to fuckity land, fuckwit.

I had been living with my BF ( a Kiwi) for almost 2 years when we set off travelling round the world. He was paid approx 4 times more than me, so my 'savings' for the trip were a lot less than his, but he wasn't prepared to wait for me to save more before our trip.

We spent months travelling and enjoying ourselves before finally landing in New Zealand, where I had a few months visa ( I think it was 4 months) but dwindling savings. I did not have a work visa, and we were staying in a city he wanted to stay in so that he could find work and rent us a house (on a bloody remote outskirt area without so much as a bus route, never mind any shops etc).

All was fine, until I told him that my savings were getting really low, and I couldn't afford to stay there unless I found a way to earn money (or I wouldn't have enough for a return airfare to the UK when visa ran out).

He didn't 'sympathise', he didn't offer to help me find a way of earning money, or offer to support me (i.e pay to feed me only !) he simply said 'Oh, well if you don't have enough money then you'll need to go home.'

So I bought my plane ticket and he drove me to the airport (and he was crying ffs !) and waved me off saying to let him know I'd gotten home safely.

I assumed, with his total lack of effort, care or even pretending to try to help me to stay until my visa ran out, that our 'relationship' was now over (given that we'd actually be living in separate bloody hemispheres ffs !) I phoned him once when I arrived home, and never heard another peep from him.

Apparently HE thought that I'd be perfectly happy to be living 1000's of miles away, and somehow he'd still be my 'boyfriend' ??

He wasn't happy when he phoned me a few weeks later to 'chat', only to find that I'd gotten a job and a flat and was getting ready to go out with workmates, as I was apparently supposed to be sat at home 'pining' for him and sitting waiting for the phone to ring 🙄, and when I told him I was under the impression that our relationship was over, and had 'moved on', he was actually astounded that I thought that living in different hemispheres should change anything ! 😂

Ex BF many years ago, had really bad droopy dick. I was really kind about it and we tried to make it all work.
Out the blue he finished with me (after yet another frustrating sex session) slagging me off and saying he had a problem because I wasn't european enough and didn't have a french accent.

If I did he wouldn't have a problem.

Va te faire foutre idiot. (that is 'fuck off you idiot' in french 🤣)

😂Did you even read OP's post before eagerly jumping to criticise her for something she didn't do?

Ex when explaining why he had shagged his secretary and had left me for her -'she spoils me.' While giving me his kicked puppy look - the one that made me want to kick him again.

This was a 40 year old with a senior job in a City of London bank. That was the start of the process by which anguish on my part over a failed marriage gradually started being replaced by contempt. At the time I couldn't actually believe that a grown man (who'd pretty much pleased himself during the time we were married) was actually trotting that out as an excuse.

I caught my ex cheating and when I confronted him about it he said " i did it beacuse you don't do enough housework", I've honestly never come so close to murder in my life, not only was it a piss poor excuse but I was the only one working at the time 2 bloody jobs as well because he had been made redundant.

Not DH or any behaviour, but 2ex boyfriends met someone called Carol after we split. Not the same woman.

This might be the worst thing I’ve read on MN and that’s saying something

My ex once said to one of my friends that the only reason I got the house I live in is because of him.

He wasn't even in the country when I found it, he had nothing to do with it.