My husband isn't in love with me

[thisisme2023]

I've been married for 25 years and have two teenagers. My husband told me a couple of weeks ago that he's not in love with me anymore and he's not sure what to do.
We discussed him moving out but ultimately decided he would stay and we would try to work on things.
Historically we argued a lot but we haven't had a crossed word since the chat.
We had a catch up today and he's still feeling the same, saying he wants to give it more time but doesn't think things will change and he will have to move out soon.
He has assured me there isn't another woman and I believe him.
I don't know what to do. I'm a SAHM, haven't worked for 17 years so I know it would be impossible to get a decent paid job. I feel so stupid because I've supported him all these years so he now earns in excess of 250k with great future prospects.

How do I navigate this time? Should I give it more time or accept he just doesn't love me anymore?

All replies will tell you there's another woman. All of them. Sorry you're going through this OP x

You need to read The Script, hopefully someone will be along to link to it

Save yourself, get some legal advice to get an idea of what you would be entitled to.
Half the house, some of his pension, half the savings, maybe spousal support if he's a high earner etc.
Do you have any DC?
Sounds to me like you're flogging a dead horse and I know how sad that is 💔
So as the mn saying goes, get your ducks in a row

(In short: don’t believe a word of it, there is another woman)

Honestly, OP, I sympathise, but this is a textbook example of why not to be a longterm SAHM, or to be incapable of supporting yourself because your finances are dependent on someone else wanting to stay married to you. The first thing I would do in your shoes is focus on work/retraining possibilities so that you are at least addressing the finance side of things. Best wishes.

OP - there is another woman. Married men don't just walk out of a family home set up for no reason, they just don't.

Let him go, there is more to it than he is telling.

Clear out the joint account for a start

then kick him out - men really don't just fall out of love. They get a replacement

See a solicitor as soon as you can.

Get his pension docs and copies of savings everything, you can.

I hope he's not self employed. Much easier to hide stuff.

You're legally entitled to half of everything as a minimum - and probably more -

He will have started hiding things already if he can.

Don't say anything about him having another woman.

Play nice/dumb, pretend to go along w things. Look on his phone/emails to get any evidence you can.

They all say this bullshit - am so sorry. Its horrible. You'll get through it in time.

I am so sorry. Whether there is another woman or not the most important thing right now is to get legal advice, copies of everything financial and do not give him any indication you are doing so. Get clued up before he has left the house. You need to protect yourself and what you are entitled to above all else right now. As for a job what did you used to do? What things interest you?

Don't believe a word out of his mouth.
There is another woman.
It is very unusual for a man to just up and leave his home and children without a nice soft comfortable pillow and bosom to lay his head on.
I'm sorry bit it's true.

Gwt your ducks in a row. Go to a solicitor. And take him to the cleaners.

Get your ducks in a row. Go to a solicitor.

This

It's not what you want to hear, it's not what I wanted to hear, but there will be someone else. He will probably never admit it and try to say he met her after you separated but that will not be true. I'm sorry x

I have ended all my relationships without having someone lined up. I just didn’t love/like them anymore & felt I would be happier on my own. Why does everyone think there’s someone else rather than he just doesn’t want to continue a relationship that isn’t working for him? Not being goofy, I’m obviously missing something to be in the minority thinking?

*goady not goofy!

Men don’t leave without somewhere else to go.

Presumably you’re female?

men are the ones that can’t be alone.

Get your hands on every bit of paperwork you can related to finances and your home and take copies - payslips, pension, mortgage statement, bank accounts, savings, investments, etc.

Then go and find yourself a shit hot lawyer.

There is likely to be another women but even if there isn't it doesn't change anything.
Kick him out straight away.
See a lawyer.
You are entitled to at least half of all the marital assets, house equity, his pension possibly spousal maintenance as well. However you will likely need to think about what you will do for work.

That's just not true. My bil in law split up from his wife without there being another woman. I have friends whose husbands have requested a duvorce and there wasn't another woman.

I’m female. Yes, I understand what you’re saying & now I think about it with my friends group this actually does seem true! Never thought about it before. Goodness me, I just am so glad to be single!

You are entitled to half the assets, so this should help you stand on your feet. So sorry OP, it sucks.

Thank you so much for your replies. I think I needed to hear the voice of reason rather than hope that he will change his mind.
I'm definitely teaching my children to be financially independent.
I just feel so so stupid that I let this happen. I completely trusted him and I gave up my ideas of a decent career to be a SAHM which was what we both wanted at the time.
It's so hard when there are DC involved too. Of course I want them to maintain a good relationship with their father but I'm worried about the impact all of this will have on them too, especially at GCSE time.
He says that he will always financially support me but let's be honest that won't last long will it?

Your BIL is the exception, the norm is unfortunately usually OW