My husband isn't in love with me

[thisisme2023]

I've been married for 25 years and have two teenagers. My husband told me a couple of weeks ago that he's not in love with me anymore and he's not sure what to do.
We discussed him moving out but ultimately decided he would stay and we would try to work on things.
Historically we argued a lot but we haven't had a crossed word since the chat.
We had a catch up today and he's still feeling the same, saying he wants to give it more time but doesn't think things will change and he will have to move out soon.
He has assured me there isn't another woman and I believe him.
I don't know what to do. I'm a SAHM, haven't worked for 17 years so I know it would be impossible to get a decent paid job. I feel so stupid because I've supported him all these years so he now earns in excess of 250k with great future prospects.

How do I navigate this time? Should I give it more time or accept he just doesn't love me anymore?

It seems odd that he is suddenly so adamant, certainly. It's natural for relationships to have their ups and downs and to go through a "bad patch". After 25 years, he may well be bored etc but to rip apart a family just for that with no discussion or attempt at improving things, no concern for the effect on the children etc, does make it seem unlikely there isn't someone else. I don't think I could accept what he has told you without demanding to know a lot more.

Yes in my youth I left relationships that had gone flat or where my feelings had subsided but it's a completely different situation in a long term marriage with children involved.

My ex husband left for the same reason, there was no other woman, we opted for 2 years separation by consent and then divorce.

My ex boyfriend left his marriage of 25 years, there was no other woman and we got together after he had been separated for two years.

Regardless, it doesn't really matter.

I would ask him to attend marriage counseling with you to see if the marriage can be saved. If he doesn't then I would suggest getting a divorce and seeing a solicitor.

The current position in the family court is a 50/50 split of assets plus child maintenance dependent on the age of the children. You may get an amount of spousal maintenance for a period to allow you to adjust or alternatively you may get a higher percentage than 50 per cent, or you may get a combination of a higher percentage plus an amount of spousal maintenance for a specified time.

The emotional side of divorce is gut wrenching and I really wish I had counselling when my marriage ended. I would also see your GP for advice on counselling and whether you need anything to help you sleep and evaluate whether you are showing signs of depression.

Reach out to your friends and ask for support. Best of luck.

I agree with the last poster too. There is a high chance it’s an affair but it is also possible that he’s in some sort of depressed state. It’s worth a try. If he doesn’t want to try then you know he’s seeing someone else. No man wants upheaval if he can be a guest in his own house 🏡