Page 18 | Men not being attracted to obese women

itchyhands3 · 2023-04-20T11:50:16+00:00

I've just watched a video by an' expert' emphatically saying that men do not as a rule find obese women attractive unless they have a specific fetish for obese women. I don't know what to think for I would be considered obese on scales but certainly don't feel I look obese and consider myself relatively attractive and some men have expressed attraction towards me . I'm 5'7' and over thirteen and a half stone . Size 14-16 .I am 49. This has really unsettled me for some reason. How insulting . But is it true ?

DannyZukosSmile · 20/04/2023 23:10

rumbusiness · 20/04/2023 22:36

OMG this is so true! I am enlightened.

Did you know that women all get wet when they see a man in a puffa jacket? Because it makes him look bigger than he is.

It's called dye-mor-fizm. Big word but I'm clever so I know it.

On the other hand, men enjoy wanking to porn because the ladies in the pictures and videos are so ickle and tiny, and being teeny tiny is soooooo sexy. This is why they especially like to watch it on their phones, because the screen is REALLY small and it's like the ladies are only a few centimetres high. Phwoarrrr

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😂

Notamum12345577 · 20/04/2023 23:10

Skankhunt84 · 20/04/2023 12:59

I'd say the expert is probably referring to extremely obese i.e over size 20.

Size 20 isn’t ‘extremely’ obese

Trenisenne · 20/04/2023 23:11

MsCunk · 20/04/2023 13:10

I stand by it.

As you should 👍

cheshirebloke · 20/04/2023 23:11

Yes it's true, men aren't generally attracted to obese women. Just like women aren't generally attracted to obese men. Obesity is basically a disease, but it's also it's a sign of self neglect, or lack self control. However, I wouldn't consider your weight/height as being obese, even if you meet the clinical definition. Size 14/16 really isn't that large and I could easily find a woman of those proportions physically attractive.

Much bigger and I probably would be put off though - even if I found them physically attractive, I doubt their lifestyle is going to be compatible with mine. I did date a larger lady for a while, she was easily size 20 odd (22-24 at a guess), about 5' 4". I genuinely tried to see beyond her size, and give it a fair chance, and if we'd really clicked personality wise I think I could have been able to disregard her weight and health issues. I'm no althlete, but I do live an active lifestyle. So when a 30 year old gets out of breath climbing the stairs, has constant knee and hip pains, and won't even walk 200 yards up the road (driving instead), that's majorly off putting. I just kept thinking that if she's got these health problems at this age, what's she going to be like in 20 years time?

RocketIceLollie · 20/04/2023 23:17

Men finding obese woman unattractive is no different to woman finding short men unattractive really is it.

LaughingCat · 20/04/2023 23:27

I’m on a swinging site - been 132kg to 74kg and now sitting around 95kg.

Some men fetishise fat. You can recognise that instantly and I find it a complete turn off.

But we all have preferences. Some men prefer a fuller figured woman. That’s all gravy. Some prefer a wisp of a thing. Fine. Some are attracted to the actual woman and that extends to whatever the fuck weight she’s at (I have, ahem, ‘hard’ evidence of this).

I’m the same - I prefer a taller guy, preferably with muscles. The type built like brick shithouses. Skinny, sparkly vampire types don’t do it for me (though my other half was, indeed, skinny and pale enough to be a vamp when we met, to be fair!).

Everyone has something that gets their motor running, though, so forget this expert. He’s talking utter shite. I have extensive, real-world data to disprove it (that was very, very fun to collect 😂)

Thesharkradar · 20/04/2023 23:38

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ as it was the work of a previously banned poster.

oh, I see, that's rather a surprise, but at 4ft 8 I'm thinking he doesnt have a very powerful hammer for that nail. Then again I've known some very strapping men who were surprising in the other direction!
As long as they are happy😁

BigChesterDraws · 21/04/2023 03:39

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 22:22

no, but I am talking about northern europeans, which I am not. and yes, I am a geneticist. ANd no, you are not a brain surgeon.

Again, on mumsnet I am amazed how people react so aggressively and which such hostility to simple, basic, undisputed scientific facts,

In what way are these simple, straightforward, undisputed, scientific facts such a threat to you?

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That’s a quick career change from being a teacher

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4758709-to-complain-about-class-behaviour?reply=124472669

To complain about class behaviour? | Mumsnet

Hello everyone, I8 homeschooled my middle child for three years from Year 3 onwards because she was falling behind quite significantly academically. T...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4758709-to-complain-about-class-behaviour?reply=124472669

Equalitea · 21/04/2023 04:38

daisymoonlight · 20/04/2023 17:23

Men. Aren't. Picky

So, how come women get ghosted all the time by men then? search ghosting in the search bar and I'm sure loads of posts come up. If men will literally go out with anyone this wouldnt ever happen would it?

I agree. I think that for sex, men often aren’t picky but for a relationship that’s something quite different!

mrsdavegrohl0 · 21/04/2023 06:17

I've been both fat and thin.

Strangely, when I was around 20 and a size 10 I got a little attention but not a lot...

I'm now 44, a size 18-20 and have never got as much attention as I do now 🤷🏼‍♀️ I carry my weight in my hips and chest (don't know if that makes a difference?) I've always had confidence issues but I'm only just getting to the point now where I'm accepting myself for who I am. I'll never be able to lose weight, menopause and thyroid problems have seen to that but I don't really want to now!

I think accepting who you are is a great start and you attract those who want you as you are, not what they can change you into.

NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs · 21/04/2023 06:19

QuintanaRoo · 20/04/2023 15:01

Truest thing I’ve read on the internet for a long time!

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Except it’s not true,
and it’s so offencive.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 21/04/2023 06:32

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 22:28

humans are dimorphic, as many animals are - this means one strong parent to defend the family, and one smaller parent to decrease the overall amount of resources the family needs

in many cases the male is the larger sex. not all, there are also many cases where the female is the larger.

The whole point though, is dimorphism works best for the reasons I have just given

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@Nimbostratus100 thank you to you and @rumbusiness et al, for supplying an amusing and ott sub-thread 😁

Unfortunately Nimbo, I have to declare that the probability of you being a geneticist is reasonably unlikely, and I am not even basing that on the "scientific facts" you are giving us here, but on the fact that you haven't given up trying to tell us these "facts", or to convince us that you are indeed a geneticist. In my extremely humble opinion, a qualified professional person would have said "sod it", by now, "if they are so blinkered that they can't see the truth, then I really can't be bothered with all of this"! and would have left the thread...

NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs · 21/04/2023 06:43

TellMeTheMewth · 20/04/2023 19:13

Disgusting attitude. No larger woman could possibly bed a man of worth, or in fact any man who is not a desperate sex craved loser?

Honestly, it's pathetic and laughable. Plenty of women in the size 14 - 18 category may be obese but are completely within the realms of normal bodies. I feel really bad as well with my comments actually, I'm sure there are even bigger women with oozing confidence and sexuality. In fact I know there are from SM. Not everyone who's obese is cowering ashamed of their body and inexperienced with men.

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I’d say it’s your comment that is weird and rude.

NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs · 21/04/2023 06:53

mybeautifuloak · 20/04/2023 21:02

Such a sad post. I have been a size 6 to a big 14 and currently around a 12. My dh has loved and found me beautiful at all sizes for 30 years. Love can be very real

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Sounds like you were thin (enough) when you met.

Love can be very real

No evidence of that so far, too late for me now….

icanneverthinkofnc · 21/04/2023 07:06

Given the number of obese parents waddling along in our local shopping centre pushing babies/ toddlers, it's obviously not an issue for many.

I'm more concerned at the number of women on here and RL that seem to attract and be consistently attracted to utter arseholes and reproduce with them, often repeating the mistake.

5128gap · 21/04/2023 07:19

As interesting as this discussion has been, I don't think you can possibly get an answer to whether you as an obese woman will be attractive to men. You've had individual obese women telling you their stories, but there's so many variables in appearance unless they look like you in every other way and you're meeting the same men they did, its irrelevant.
Generalising about women's appearance with a bunch of women is also very emotive. Many of us dont want to consider our own appearance to be 'less than' and so will hotly defend 'our corner', (the rush to insist men don't like blonde women being a prime example) so views are not objective.
Just as 'theories' are not objective, are reductive, and fail to take into account the fact that men preferring something doesn't equate to their ability to obtain it. The sensible ones who don't want to spend their lives single know this, and broaden their range.
If you really care about how men view body shape, keep an eye on media trends as they both reflect and influence the views of men (chicken or egg?) If you really care about how men view your own individual level of attractiveness I'm afraid you'll only know that from your own research and experience in the field.

Nimbostratus100 · 21/04/2023 07:24

TheLadyofShalott1 · 21/04/2023 06:32

@Nimbostratus100 thank you to you and @rumbusiness et al, for supplying an amusing and ott sub-thread 😁

Unfortunately Nimbo, I have to declare that the probability of you being a geneticist is reasonably unlikely, and I am not even basing that on the "scientific facts" you are giving us here, but on the fact that you haven't given up trying to tell us these "facts", or to convince us that you are indeed a geneticist. In my extremely humble opinion, a qualified professional person would have said "sod it", by now, "if they are so blinkered that they can't see the truth, then I really can't be bothered with all of this"! and would have left the thread...

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why would I leave a thread I am enjoying?

As ever on MN, some people dont like being told scientific facts, and some do.

So many people reading are going to be interested and learn something

and some people for some reason feel threatened, or upset, or else simply enjoy trying to big themselves up by being scornful to people who know more than them about something, and they can just continue being ignorant - their problem, no one elses.

shintyminty · 21/04/2023 07:27

cheshirebloke · 20/04/2023 23:11

Yes it's true, men aren't generally attracted to obese women. Just like women aren't generally attracted to obese men. Obesity is basically a disease, but it's also it's a sign of self neglect, or lack self control. However, I wouldn't consider your weight/height as being obese, even if you meet the clinical definition. Size 14/16 really isn't that large and I could easily find a woman of those proportions physically attractive.

Much bigger and I probably would be put off though - even if I found them physically attractive, I doubt their lifestyle is going to be compatible with mine. I did date a larger lady for a while, she was easily size 20 odd (22-24 at a guess), about 5' 4". I genuinely tried to see beyond her size, and give it a fair chance, and if we'd really clicked personality wise I think I could have been able to disregard her weight and health issues. I'm no althlete, but I do live an active lifestyle. So when a 30 year old gets out of breath climbing the stairs, has constant knee and hip pains, and won't even walk 200 yards up the road (driving instead), that's majorly off putting. I just kept thinking that if she's got these health problems at this age, what's she going to be like in 20 years time?

Damn. I must tell my disabilities that they're a sign of lack of self care.

shintyminty · 21/04/2023 07:32

I'm naturally blonde. Still blonde (with some"ash" highlights) in my 50s

I also have blue eyes.

My bones are shit.

Tarantullah · 21/04/2023 07:35

I suspect there is a difference between the clinical definition of obese and the criteria people set for themselves when asked a question.

mybeautifuloak · 21/04/2023 07:43

@Notamum12345577 Size 20 isn’t ‘extremely’ obese
It is. You have been deluded by a society in which people have progressively grown fatter. Size 20 is huge. It is well over 'morbidly' obese in any height person.

mybeautifuloak · 21/04/2023 07:48

Hubblebubble · 20/04/2023 23:00

@rumbusiness the gentlemen prefer it blonde origin story actually even more grim. In Ancient Rome captured European sex slaves often had blonde hair, whereas the free Roman women had darker hair. So men started associating blonde hair with sex.

Oh dear God this is ridiculous. And inaccurate.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 21/04/2023 07:49

Nimbostratus100 · 21/04/2023 07:24

why would I leave a thread I am enjoying?

As ever on MN, some people dont like being told scientific facts, and some do.

So many people reading are going to be interested and learn something

and some people for some reason feel threatened, or upset, or else simply enjoy trying to big themselves up by being scornful to people who know more than them about something, and they can just continue being ignorant - their problem, no one elses.

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Thank you for your reply @Nimbostratus100.

As you are enjoying the thread can you please explain why you enjoy other people telling you that you are talking rubbish etcetera, I am just being nosey I suppose interested in why and how different people have so many differing responses - but I am glad that they do as the world would be a very boring place if we all agreed with each other!

May I be cheeky and ask you one more question please? I have decided that you answered my request affirmatively - thanks again.
A PP pointed out that last month you claimed to be a teacher, so do you teach children Genetics, and if so, are you a peripatetic teacher?
Oops sorry, that ended up being two questions 😯🤭

Tarantullah · 21/04/2023 07:56

mybeautifuloak · 21/04/2023 07:43

@Notamum12345577 Size 20 isn’t ‘extremely’ obese
It is. You have been deluded by a society in which people have progressively grown fatter. Size 20 is huge. It is well over 'morbidly' obese in any height person.

Whilst it's certainly overweight/obese if someone is 6ft or so it isn't necessarily morbidly obese.

Talon01 · 21/04/2023 07:57

Let's be honest we live the age of the 'fatty'.

Two thirds of adults in the UK are estimated to be over weight or obese. There isn't much of a difference between the sexes on this.

The BMI measurements are harsh but are clearly there to serve a medical purpose as had been pointed out.

So maybe the point of this thread should be -fatties time to do better!

Yes this is said tongue in cheek before anyone starts.