Page 15 | Men not being attracted to obese women

itchyhands3 · 2023-04-20T11:50:16+00:00

I've just watched a video by an' expert' emphatically saying that men do not as a rule find obese women attractive unless they have a specific fetish for obese women. I don't know what to think for I would be considered obese on scales but certainly don't feel I look obese and consider myself relatively attractive and some men have expressed attraction towards me . I'm 5'7' and over thirteen and a half stone . Size 14-16 .I am 49. This has really unsettled me for some reason. How insulting . But is it true ?

mybeautifuloak · 20/04/2023 21:02

NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs · 20/04/2023 13:27

I’m about to turn 37, always been either chubby, overweight or obese.
Never been asked on a date, not even once.
I’m not a horrible person, not the best, but other than extra weight, I’m ’normal’, good person.
It’s the weight.
In my experience men only care about looks, many of them who also have crazy standards what ’true beauty’ is.
That’s all that matters to them, well that and sex.
It’s been though, but helped me to see that love isin’t real, so at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter.

Such a sad post. I have been a size 6 to a big 14 and currently around a 12. My dh has loved and found me beautiful at all sizes for 30 years. Love can be very real

DannyZukosSmile · 20/04/2023 21:07

saythebellsofstclements · 20/04/2023 20:54

Whether we like it or not it's just not natural to be very overweight. It doesn't happen in nature. To survive you need to be able to escape predators and have quick responses. Obesity is a modern day (last few thousand years) problem. I bet there were no overweight cavemen. Sorry to be so blunt and basic about it but sexual attraction is an evolutionary mechanism and obesity is relatively new driven by the food industry. I think well rounded people are, and probably always have been, probably a signal that they are doing well with finding food and healthy therefore much more attractive than very very slim people. Being curvy has to be the optimum attractive state I would say, for both men and women.

I agree with this, but do disagree that obesity has been a few thousand years. Probably getting on for a thousand, like seven or eight hundred years, but not a few thousands ... But I do absolutely agree that being obese/fat is NOT natural.

@itchyhands3 Post a link to this video you are referring to please. You have caused quite a debate here, but where IS this video of this man saying men do not fancy fat women?

DHsPoorBack · 20/04/2023 21:08

mybeautifuloak · 20/04/2023 21:02

Such a sad post. I have been a size 6 to a big 14 and currently around a 12. My dh has loved and found me beautiful at all sizes for 30 years. Love can be very real

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Were you a size 6, when you met, 30 years ago?

PickleOfAConundrum · 20/04/2023 21:09

MeiMeiSushi · 20/04/2023 13:05

Who cares about what men want ?

If you feel unattractive then absolutely lose some weight but do it for you not the male gaze.

They'll be men who aren't attracted to obese women like they'll be men who aren't attracted to slim women or whatever because everyone has personal preferences.

I totally agree with your post, it's got feck all to do what men think about a woman's body shape and if a woman isn't happy with her weight then do it for herself! I was that woman and decided to lose weight for me and me only. I'm now curvy but I'm happy within myself with my curves no matter what any man says!

motherofkevinnotperry · 20/04/2023 21:09

Tescoland · 20/04/2023 18:21

I’m wondering about the multiple partners some obese women here claim to have had. I am not saying the numbers aren’t true but I’m curious about the “quality” of these men.
Maybe these men were desperados? Any port in a storm kinda men? 😕

In the main they were very nice quality thanks for asking 😂. I tried to maintain my self respect by being intimate with men I actually liked and found attractive rather than anyone that offered because I'm overweight.

Oddly the two I can think of that were a bit "desperados" or a let down where tall, good looking but both were terrible selfish lovers so I didn't hang around for very long.

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 21:14

DigitalTranny · 20/04/2023 20:35

This takes the stupid biscuit today. Blond hair and blue eyes do not give you a reproductive advantage at all. I personally do not find blond men with blue eyes attractive whatsoever so they could all die out for all I care. There goes their “reproductive advantage” down the drain.

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why would it give men a reproductive advantage? They dont get pregnant. What have blue eyes got to do with anything? what are you talking about?

saythebellsofstclements · 20/04/2023 21:22

DannyZukosSmile · 20/04/2023 21:07

I agree with this, but do disagree that obesity has been a few thousand years. Probably getting on for a thousand, like seven or eight hundred years, but not a few thousands ... But I do absolutely agree that being obese/fat is NOT natural.

@itchyhands3 Post a link to this video you are referring to please. You have caused quite a debate here, but where IS this video of this man saying men do not fancy fat women?

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There was obesity in Ancient Rome

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 20/04/2023 21:23

saythebellsofstclements · 20/04/2023 21:22

There was obesity in Ancient Rome

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I guess togas are very adjustable.

rumbusiness · 20/04/2023 21:25

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 21:14

why would it give men a reproductive advantage? They dont get pregnant. What have blue eyes got to do with anything? what are you talking about?

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Um. Do you not understand that children get half of their genes from their dad?

Or is it just that you don't think women's consent is important when it comes to sex?

People who spout this evolutionary psychology crap generally don't.

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 21:30

rumbusiness · 20/04/2023 21:25

Um. Do you not understand that children get half of their genes from their dad?

Or is it just that you don't think women's consent is important when it comes to sex?

People who spout this evolutionary psychology crap generally don't.

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again, what ARE you talking about? You dont seem to have any undersanding at all of evolutionary genetics.

Why do you think that the dark skinned. dark haired population of the british isles evolved pale skin and blond hair?

Why do you think children often have blond hair and it darkens later?

Why do you think dark skinned covered muslim girls in northern Britain are at such a high risk of rickets?

do you know ANY biology or gentics or evolution at all?

what is it about simple straight forward biological facts that is frightening you?

saythebellsofstclements · 20/04/2023 21:35

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 20/04/2023 21:23

I guess togas are very adjustable.

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Love a toga

SwordToFlamethrower · 20/04/2023 21:38

As a rule, I do not like fat people in general, as in, find them attractive.

Sphagnummoss · 20/04/2023 21:47

"Whether we like it or not it's just not natural to be very overweight. It doesn't happen in nature. To survive you need to be able to escape predators and have quick responses. Obesity is a modern day (last few thousand years) problem. I bet there were no overweight cavemen. Sorry to be so blunt and basic about it but sexual attraction is an evolutionary mechanism and obesity is relatively new driven by the food industry. I think well rounded people are, and probably always have been, probably a signal that they are doing well with finding food and healthy therefore much more attractive than very very slim people. Being curvy has to be the optimum attractive state I would say, for both men and women."

Obesity has been driven by living in a time and place without the food insecurity that our ancestors had. With the addition of the availability of cheap highly processed foods. Some humans evolved to be very efficient at using their food. Those people with the same efficiency are now those who pile on kilos more easily than others. Remember, the survival of the species would once have depended on those with the easy weight gain genes.

https://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/metabolism/obesity#:~:text=This%20lopsided%20pressure%20may%20have,fertile%20when%20food%20was%20scarce.

Evolution and Obesity

https://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/metabolism/obesity#:~:text=This%20lopsided%20pressure%20may%20have,fertile%20when%20food%20was%20scarce.

Vee1987 · 20/04/2023 22:02

daisymoonlight · 20/04/2023 16:15

I know this is going to sound nasty, but in my twenties, I briefly dated a total gym bore - albeit a very beautiful man - who I was surprisingly not attracted to as his ego and general terrible chat about his lifestyle and discipline made me cringe and my eyelids actually felt heavy when he was talking about it

Whilst I agree he sounds terrible, there are boring people in every body shape and type. Its not the case that everyone who enjoys keeping fit is boring any more than its true to say that people who dont look after themselves are charismatic and charming and witty

I hope not since I usually do at least three classes a week and run (my husband is often in the gym too but I think he’s alright) so definitely wasn’t implying people who exercise are bores. I like to think we’re not anyway. 😉😁 I wouldn’t preach to others about it though and talk about macros during dates… I dated someone who pointed out “Ooh that’s a lot of sugar” in my dessert. Very sanctimonious.

Cinecitta · 20/04/2023 22:03

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 21:30

again, what ARE you talking about? You dont seem to have any undersanding at all of evolutionary genetics.

Why do you think that the dark skinned. dark haired population of the british isles evolved pale skin and blond hair?

Why do you think children often have blond hair and it darkens later?

Why do you think dark skinned covered muslim girls in northern Britain are at such a high risk of rickets?

do you know ANY biology or gentics or evolution at all?

what is it about simple straight forward biological facts that is frightening you?

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No human ever developed blonde hair and fair skin, blue eyes etc.. to be sexually attractive. People developed these physical traits (mainly fair skin) as a response to climates poor in sunshine so when their fair skin is exposed to even weak sun, it can soak up the most amount of vitamin D in the shortest amount of time. Whereas dark-skinned people are from sunny climates, where dark skin forms a barrier against the harmful effects of the sun, and these people have to spend longer time in the sun to soak up the same amount of vitamin D than their fair-skinned mates because dark skin also makes it harder to soak up that frikking vitamin. Rickets developed because both races started covering up. Muslims (especially women) are constantly covered up outdoors and don’t sunbathe, and fair-skinned people also started covering up hundreds of years ago, so there you go.

ToWhitToWhoo · 20/04/2023 22:04

saythebellsofstclements · 20/04/2023 20:54

Whether we like it or not it's just not natural to be very overweight. It doesn't happen in nature. To survive you need to be able to escape predators and have quick responses. Obesity is a modern day (last few thousand years) problem. I bet there were no overweight cavemen. Sorry to be so blunt and basic about it but sexual attraction is an evolutionary mechanism and obesity is relatively new driven by the food industry. I think well rounded people are, and probably always have been, probably a signal that they are doing well with finding food and healthy therefore much more attractive than very very slim people. Being curvy has to be the optimum attractive state I would say, for both men and women.

To survive in prehistoric-like conditions- and at many times in history- you also need to be able to cope physically with times of severe food shortage, without quickly wasting away. People who survived famines passed on genes to their descendants, which may have made them more susceptible to obesity.

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 22:07

Cinecitta · 20/04/2023 22:03

No human ever developed blonde hair and fair skin, blue eyes etc.. to be sexually attractive. People developed these physical traits (mainly fair skin) as a response to climates poor in sunshine so when their fair skin is exposed to even weak sun, it can soak up the most amount of vitamin D in the shortest amount of time. Whereas dark-skinned people are from sunny climates, where dark skin forms a barrier against the harmful effects of the sun, and these people have to spend longer time in the sun to soak up the same amount of vitamin D than their fair-skinned mates because dark skin also makes it harder to soak up that frikking vitamin. Rickets developed because both races started covering up. Muslims (especially women) are constantly covered up outdoors and don’t sunbathe, and fair-skinned people also started covering up hundreds of years ago, so there you go.

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these characteristics were evolved because they give a reproductive advantage. We are talking sexual attraction being based on features that give a reproductive advantage.....

Cinecitta · 20/04/2023 22:11

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 22:07

these characteristics were evolved because they give a reproductive advantage. We are talking sexual attraction being based on features that give a reproductive advantage.....

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How does blond hair and fair skin give you a reproductive advantage, PRAY TELL?!
(wipes forehead exasperated 🙄)
Loads of people on this planet Earth do not find these physical traits (including me) attractive at all!
I think you missed all of your biology lessons.

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 22:14

Cinecitta · 20/04/2023 22:11

How does blond hair and fair skin give you a reproductive advantage, PRAY TELL?!
(wipes forehead exasperated 🙄)
Loads of people on this planet Earth do not find these physical traits (including me) attractive at all!
I think you missed all of your biology lessons.

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I already have explained, in full, and I am a geneticist. You are the one who seems to have forgotten your basic GCSE biology. Do you understand what evolution is? and how it works? on features that give a reproductive advantage? and ONLY on features that give a reproductive advantage?

Cinecitta · 20/04/2023 22:18

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 22:14

I already have explained, in full, and I am a geneticist. You are the one who seems to have forgotten your basic GCSE biology. Do you understand what evolution is? and how it works? on features that give a reproductive advantage? and ONLY on features that give a reproductive advantage?

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You are a geneticist 😅Nice to meet you and I’m a brain surgeon.
Let me guess, you also have blonde hair and you think you are the bee’s knees because of it!

saythebellsofstclements · 20/04/2023 22:19

Cinecitta · 20/04/2023 22:11

How does blond hair and fair skin give you a reproductive advantage, PRAY TELL?!
(wipes forehead exasperated 🙄)
Loads of people on this planet Earth do not find these physical traits (including me) attractive at all!
I think you missed all of your biology lessons.

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The reproductive advantage, in evolutionary time (not present time) was that people with these traits could live more healthily in areas that were further away from the equator. They could absorb the vit D they needed from darker skies/shorter days due to a fairer skin and develop into reproductive adults. I think. If you were unhealthy and infertile due to malnutrition caused by a darker skin unable to allow vit D synthesis then fewer darker skinned people would have reproduced over millions of years and therefore fairer skin was sexually selected in far northern hemisphere.

I think people are getting sexual selection and sexual attractiveness a bit mixed up.

mybeautifuloak · 20/04/2023 22:20

@DHsPoorBack Were you a size 6, when you met, 30 years ago?
Hmmm. I think I was probably a small 10? Maybe 8 on top 10 on the bottom. Why?

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 20/04/2023 22:21

Cinecitta · 20/04/2023 22:18

You are a geneticist 😅Nice to meet you and I’m a brain surgeon.
Let me guess, you also have blonde hair and you think you are the bee’s knees because of it!

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And I'm a supermodel.

What are the odds!

rumbusiness · 20/04/2023 22:21

Cinecitta · 20/04/2023 22:18

You are a geneticist 😅Nice to meet you and I’m a brain surgeon.
Let me guess, you also have blonde hair and you think you are the bee’s knees because of it!

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I think you haven't had the pleasure of meeting @Nimbostratus100 before. Whatever the thread, they have the professional expertise needed. Like magic. 👍

It takes a professional geneticist to tell us that blonde hair makes women attractive because they have strong bones. 🤪

Except oops, they don't, so let's write some very long rambling posts with a side order of personal insults to try to cover that bit up.

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 22:22

Cinecitta · 20/04/2023 22:18

You are a geneticist 😅Nice to meet you and I’m a brain surgeon.
Let me guess, you also have blonde hair and you think you are the bee’s knees because of it!

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no, but I am talking about northern europeans, which I am not. and yes, I am a geneticist. ANd no, you are not a brain surgeon.

Again, on mumsnet I am amazed how people react so aggressively and which such hostility to simple, basic, undisputed scientific facts,

In what way are these simple, straightforward, undisputed, scientific facts such a threat to you?