Men not being attracted to obese women

[itchyhands3]

I've just watched a video by an' expert' emphatically saying that men do not as a rule find obese women attractive unless they have a specific fetish for obese women.

I don't know what to think for I would be considered obese on scales but certainly don't feel I look obese and consider myself relatively attractive and some men have expressed attraction towards me
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I'm 5'7' and over thirteen and a half stone . Size 14-16 .I am 49.
This has really unsettled me for some reason. How insulting . But is it true ?

Omg shush.

The importance of focusing on the BMI number is because it's just that: a BMI number. So when this dick tries to extrapolate stuff from that, you can come back at him with "it's just a BMI number, you twat, it's got nothing to do with how sexy you are". And once people understand that a bit better, they also realise that obesity at the lower level isn't the size they think it is.

The definition matters. It matters to show what obesity is and, more importantly, what it's not. Which also makes it easier to have health related discussions about it. When the doctor says you are obese, you can realise she's not saying you're ugly, and you might not even be all that big.

Sorry, I know this is from page 1, but I doubt I will read the whole article as I know for a fact that an awful lot of men won't be "put off" by a woman who is a size 14/16, so I feel that the OP might not be genuinely that worried about her size. I would even be a little worried for the OP if at the age of 49 she has not either come to terms with her own size, or realised through life experience that a size 14 to 16 is absolutely fine. I don't understand why she would even pay any attention to an "expert", who considers himself an expert, and that it is ok for him to give a lecture that contains such a sweeping statement. Of course the OP might have only fixated on a small piece of a far more extensive lecture, and he might have been talking more about morbidly obese women? By the way. I think that sizes 4 and 6 would be equally off putting to many men, maybe even more so than sizes 14 to 16.

Anyway @3WildOnes, I just wanted to say that I find skinny and very slim men off-putting, I certainly like them bigger - I am not happy that I have a "size" issue, as in my opinion it should only be someone's character that matters, however I am human, so - maybe when I was a lot younger and still dating (I don't tend to date anymore as I have been married for many years!), I missed out on some lovely people, but then again I doubt that they would have fancied me either 😉

You mentioned "very overweight men", and I think that you are right about women not being attracted to very overweight men, but who we judge as being very overweight may differ, but that's just life. I probably wouldn't have fancied any sumo wrestlers, but if a man was reasonably tall, and looked as if he had at least some muscles on his upper torso and arms, then I think I would have found someone up to about 20 to 22 stone attractive, but I might have worried about their health?

I actually fancied and married a man who was about 5'6" (sorry about the imperial measurements), and probably weighed about 13 to 14 stone at the time. I was a size 14 then, and only slightly shorter than him. 🙈

Yay eugenics! Horrifying eh?

not bullshit, simple fact in a temperate climate with a prehistoric diet - why do you think northern Europeans evolved pale skin and blond hair? Gives a reproductive advantage. That is why any population evolves anything, ever.

blond hair- baby gets stronger bones

not bullshit, simple fact in a temperate climate with a prehistoric diet - why do you think northern Europeans evolved pale skin and blond hair? Gives a reproductive advantage. That is why any population evolves anything, ever.

I have never heard of this correlation. I'm so interested to read more. Can anyone point me to a reference?

A quick google gave me:

• Bone biopsy studies show that blacks have greater bone volume. The rate of fractures and cardiovascular diseases are also less frequent.

• Does race affect bone density? Prevalence of osteoporosis and low bone mass (osteopenia) varies among racial and ethnic groups in the United States. Among white Americans, 9 percent have osteoporosis and 42.9 percent have low bone mass. Among Mexican Americans, 13.1 percent have osteoporosis and 42.2 percent have low bone mass

• Which race has low bone density? Bone mineral density (BMD) and fracture rates vary among women of differing ethnicities. Most reports suggest that BMD is highest in African-Americans, lowest in Asians, and intermediate in Caucasians, yet Asians have lower fracture rates than Caucasians.

In my experience, most people, male and female, are incredibly judgemental of fat people.

Because they needed to be better at absorbing vitamin D from the limited sunlight available here.

Fuck me.

Sorry, did you actually think that it was so they would look sexy? Hahaha hahaha.

Oh I don't know, I've seen a few Darwinian nightmares.

If it's all about reproduction and nothing else, why do gay people exist?

The only reason I'm overweight isn't because I don't know about nutrition or live on junk food and cake, it's because I do actually like good food and I like cooking and wine and have a H who does too. I just like too much of it and don't do enough excercise (although I have now upped it) I don't actually eat cake, crisps, biscuits, pizza, burgers etc at all

its just vitimin D , thats all. 10 000 years ago all residents of the British isles had dark skin and dark hair - melanin protects from the sun. But the sun here isn't strong enough to absorb enough to make vitamin D with dark skin on a prehistoric diet.

hence the incidence of rickets in the uk today - the further north, the darker your skin, the more you cover up in the sun, the more likely you are to develop rickets as a child

Muslim girls with dark skin in northern Britain are very high risk, hence the universal advice for children to have vitamin D supplements

modern diet is obviously so much better, but I never really expected to see rickets when I started teaching, but have seen at least one child with it most years

Of course all men have different tastes, and in different environments, blond hair is not a reproductive advantage at all. I was speaking at a population level when I said blond hair is seen as more attractive in Northern europe- lots of women know their and dye their hair blond!

gay people are very important to successful reproduction in their family. You are far more likely to be gay if you are further down the birth order, providing non-reproducing aunts and uncles around the children of the family.

same reason as we have the menopause- so we are available to care for grandchildren- human children require so much more nurturing, educating and resources than a single pair of parents can reasonably provide. you just need to look around mumnset to see that!

A lot of gay people are carers - more than 10% I was told by the gay carers group the last time I attended Pride.

We are a social species, evolved to cooperate, and gay people are very much part of that

again, this is from a prehistoric prospective, rather than a modern one, but humans were prehistoric for more than 99% of their time on earth

So you overeat and drink. Plus you are not active enough. It’s just as bad as eating junk.

This takes the stupid biscuit today. Blond hair and blue eyes do not give you a reproductive advantage at all. I personally do not find blond men with blue eyes attractive whatsoever so they could all die out for all I care. There goes their “reproductive advantage” down the drain.

Gay people have evolved from the need to take care of younger family members.

What utter nonsense.

@Nimbostratus100 the "men prefer blondes" thing is so stupid it was actually used by VS Ramachandran back in the 90s to prove that evolutionary psychologists would literally print anything, especially if it reinforced current American beauty standards and had a spurious scientific explanation.

Unfortunately, it failed because people really will believe any old shite.
Well done for attempting to present it as fact a mere 30 years later. 👏

He at least came up with something marginally more plausible than your 'bone strength' bollocks, which as @TheOrigRights has nicely shown, is not only wrong but diametrically opposed to the truth

And you're now writing very long garbled posts in an attempt to cover up the fact that you posted such a massive load of cobblers. It's quite funny

I was born with blonde hair then went really dark when I was about 4. Do you mean to say I looked attractive and fertile before the age of 4???
The amount of stupidity here is overwhelming..

It's as if some posters here have never heard of culture.

About two percent of the world adult population are naturally blonde

Bad luck for the unfuckable 98 percent of us who will never pass on our genes. [Sad]

@Monoprix I was agreeing with you, by the way, in case that was unclear.

Where are you finding this rubbish? For centuries, many women didn't even reach what is considered to be menopause age.

Also, not all northern Europeans are fair haired, even in childhood. Dark hair outnumbers fair hair in Iceland, Finland and Norway. Even in Sweden isn't full of blondes as everyone likes to think.

Can we also stop beating around the bush and call the "blonde hair is inherently more attractive to men" thing what it actually is - namely massively racist, as well as sexist?

Throwing in some bullshit about 'northern Europeans' only after being called out on it doesn't change that.

I feel like all these evolution = attention theories are BS

the size of your hips has no correlation to childbirth, that's the size of the inside of your pelvis. It's usually just said be men who think they're clever

Being blonde for bones- where do I even begin? If true, any difference is going to be so negligible. How would a caveman ever figure it out?

Slim waist, not pregnant? Well most women with 'childbearing hips' don't have a slim waist, that'll be thin women.

Thin= less resource composition? Human drain more like, I can eat anything and no fat reserves. Not a helpful survival mechanism

And breast milk can come from breasts of any size, not forgetting that even A cups can expand to provide milk post-birth. Meanwhile d-cups might be unable. No correlation

Whether we like it or not it's just not natural to be very overweight. It doesn't happen in nature. To survive you need to be able to escape predators and have quick responses. Obesity is a modern day (last few thousand years) problem. I bet there were no overweight cavemen. Sorry to be so blunt and basic about it but sexual attraction is an evolutionary mechanism and obesity is relatively new driven by the food industry. I think well rounded people are, and probably always have been, probably a signal that they are doing well with finding food and healthy therefore much more attractive than very very slim people. Being curvy has to be the optimum attractive state I would say, for both men and women.

🤣

You never disappoint. Thank you, I needed that.

I think it is such a stupid question. How ugly? How fat? A really unfortunately facially formed woman with three teeth vs a size 16? Or a plain woman with no discernible beauty vs a size 28? Big difference