I’d like to think I’m an intelligent person who is intuitive - now I’m completely doubting myself.
After a dreadful relationship and 2 and a half years on my own I felt ready to meet someone. Decided to give hinge a go. Matched with what I thought was a nice guy. Nice looking, family orientated and seemed nice enough. We got chatting, swapped numbers and a few pics. When I say pics I mean just of us and our lives. Arranged a date and well he supposedly fell asleep. I was completely thrown as it all seemed good until then. I said to forget it and that was that. I deleted hinge and decided to have a break. He messaged the following day to apologise and that was that.
After persuasion from friends I went back on hinge two weeks later. After being on there a couple of days he also reappears with a new profile and new pics - we don’t match. He then messages me on WhatsApp and we get chatting again. After messaging here and there for a few days he said he would like to take me out again. I decide to give him a chance. I ask for a FaceTime first and he says yes of course. The next few days we message and share pics, talk about life etc. By this point we haven’t FaceTimed because I was working long shifts. We arrange a date for 5 days time. The next day he states he feels unwell and comes down with the flu and some kind of chest infection. Says he’s really ill and on antibiotics. He then cancels his birthday night out, this all seems legitimate. When it comes to the date, it’s me that says you can’t come out like that. He’s so apologetic, can’t believe he’s missing it and he’s going to make it up to me.
As we start chatting more he opens up he has a shunt in his head. He had an injury at work 3 years previous. As he is still unwell he starts having nose bleeds and he ends up at hospital. He sent a couple of pics. Went into detail about the hospital and says he has a scan - they’re worried he has an infection. He goes home, doesn’t get better and then says he has to have surgery to have the shunt replaced.
He also then goes into details how his mum is unwell. She gets rushed to hospital on Mother’s Day. He sends pics of the hospital and the bed and complains. He really had me because I believed all of it.
He then supposedly went to hospital for his op. We hadn’t spoken by then. We had messaged a lot and shared pics, spoken about our lives and family. He even said I get it if you don’t want to get involved.
After the op, his sister supposedly messaged me. Told me he was ok - even said it was nice I cared and he was doing well. She went into detail, he had vomited after anaesthetic as he usually does but all was well.
A day and a half he messages me. Said he’s ok but feels delicate and we have a little chat. He’s apparently tired as he would be.
The next day I ask for a pic and he won’t send one. He also won’t tell me the ward - he said he doesn’t know. I have this weird feeling and mostly because my friend said it’s not right. So, I tell him I’m in the area at the hospital. He says no, you can’t see me like this. He gets angry. I said I have something for you and I’ll drop it off. He won’t tell me where he is. A few hours later I message and say I checked at the hospital and there is no one under his name at the hospital. He messages back and says I know because I’m not there. He says he is somewhere else, I say you aren’t because they don’t do that surgery there. He then gets angry and says ‘omg you think I’m lying’ he then says he is in another hospital and can’t tell me where.
The details this person went into about their life was astonishing. Family members, stories and pictures. They have literally taken an identity. This person was never sexual, there was the odd flirt but no pics or anything major. They didn’t ask for money or anything like that.
Why on earth would someone do this? I feel so stupid. I feel like a fool.