Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Airport gifts - would this annoy you?

126 replies

SandyThumb · 26/03/2023 17:15

DH & I - married 25+ years etc, no longer in the ‘romantic gifts’ stage etc and mostly buy things we want for ourselves, or give specific suggestions for birthdays/Christmas etc. I’m very against wasting money on unnecessary tat etc.
DH has been away on a ‘boys trip’ with some male friends and texted me from return airport saying ‘do we need anything from duty free?’ I replied ‘no thanks/think we’re fine’. We had loads of alcohol left over from Christmas when DH went out and bought too much (despite me pointing out we didn’t need it).
He then sent me a photo of a perfume I used to wear about 10 years ago, but stopped as I went off it. He also knows this, as he has suggested it before and I explained. I replied ‘no thanks, don’t wear that anymore’
He’s now texted ‘well what about something else?’ and is sending me random pics of all sorts of crap in the airport.
I can’t explain, but this has really pissed me off! I think maybe the other blokes are buying (nice?) stuff for their wives and he feels pressured to do the same, but realised he doesn’t know what, and is trying to make it my problem?

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 26/03/2023 17:18

or he's trying to do something nice?

Botw1 · 26/03/2023 17:18

I'd want to know what he was feeling guilty about

Raindrops2015 · 26/03/2023 17:19

Erm, he sounds like a nice partner.....

gavisconismyfriend · 26/03/2023 17:19

Or maybe he’s missed you and wants to bring you something nice home? If in doubt, giant toblerone always goes down well in this house!

Original poster
SandyThumb · 26/03/2023 17:22

I honestly don’t think it’s a guilty thing.
But I just hate the lack of thought - it’s kind of ‘oh look, this is really convenient for me, I have time to waste and I can buy my wife some crap she doesn’t need and she will have to be grateful…’

When I didn’t respond to all the pictures he tried to phone me! (I ignored it)

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 26/03/2023 17:26

Would you prefer he used his initiative and picked something you'd like, or that he'd just say to his mates "we don't really do gifts like that"?

So isi T cos he doesn't know you well enough to pick something or the fact that you genuinely don't get why he's trying?

countvoncount · 26/03/2023 17:27

Some guys can't do right for doing wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
SandyThumb · 26/03/2023 17:27

Oh, and he also said “you’ve got a birthday coming up soon!’

OP posts:
GMOOH2023 · 26/03/2023 17:27

I always travel with hand luggage so it's always tricky buying anything to bring back - limited space and liquid restrictions. Once through security though you can usually take a duty free bag on board.

I once got a lovely Rituals gift box which was half price in the sale (and was almost as big as my rucksack.

Having said that, he does seem a bit clueless about what you might like/need.

Original poster
SandyThumb · 26/03/2023 17:33

I think I’m irritated that he doesn’t know/remember what I like/don’t like (even when I’ve told him).

I think it’s also the lack of forethought and the sudden pressure on me to make a decision to suit his convenience.

OP posts:
OddsocksinmyDocs · 26/03/2023 17:35

YABU. He's trying to do something nice!

SquishyGloopyBum · 26/03/2023 17:36

This would wind me up. Especially the birthday comment.

Original poster
SandyThumb · 26/03/2023 17:39

SquishyGloopyBum · 26/03/2023 17:36

This would wind me up. Especially the birthday comment.

Well exactly! It feels like flowers from a service station!

OP posts:
NewContender · 26/03/2023 17:40

It sounds like he knows better than to try to surprise you hence the asking. It doesn’t sound annoying, it sounds quite kind - but I get when you’ve been together a while some things get complex and become annoying because of years of other intertwined stuff going on that are hard to explain to other people.

BillyNoM8s · 26/03/2023 17:40

Are you irritated about his trip in general?

Me and DH always get hot pockets when we go to airports. No idea why. Have to try very hard not to buy needless crap. I couldn't get too wound up about it, I'd just tell him something you actually do want..

Original poster
SandyThumb · 26/03/2023 17:42

For context, he also has form for crap gifts, so I always say don’t worry.

After a golf trip to Scotland he came back with a hideous tartan poncho thing, in a colour I hate, only suitable for a 90 year old. And I know it wasn’t cheap 😩

OP posts:
NewContender · 26/03/2023 17:42

SandyThumb · 26/03/2023 17:33

I think I’m irritated that he doesn’t know/remember what I like/don’t like (even when I’ve told him).

I think it’s also the lack of forethought and the sudden pressure on me to make a decision to suit his convenience.

Is there something you would like that he’s forgotten? Could you tell him what it is so at least he doesn’t get you something random?

NewContender · 26/03/2023 17:43

SandyThumb · 26/03/2023 17:42

For context, he also has form for crap gifts, so I always say don’t worry.

After a golf trip to Scotland he came back with a hideous tartan poncho thing, in a colour I hate, only suitable for a 90 year old. And I know it wasn’t cheap 😩

Ok, that is pretty bad. I’m picturing Russ Abbot now. Showing my age.

Original poster
SandyThumb · 26/03/2023 17:45

BillyNoM8s · 26/03/2023 17:40

Are you irritated about his trip in general?

Me and DH always get hot pockets when we go to airports. No idea why. Have to try very hard not to buy needless crap. I couldn't get too wound up about it, I'd just tell him something you actually do want..

No, quite happy about his trip. No problem with that.

Yes - ‘hot pockets’ describes it well - I hate the idea of him wasting money on stuff I/we don’t want or need. But if he DOES buy something and I dare complain then it will be my fault for not responding to his urgent messages telling him what I want! Urgh.

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 26/03/2023 17:45

Botw1 · 26/03/2023 17:18

I'd want to know what he was feeling guilty about

FFS, what a stupid comment. Are people really this weird about everyday interactions? 🙄

Tell him to get you a massive Toblerone, op.

ballsdeep · 26/03/2023 17:47

SandyThumb · 26/03/2023 17:33

I think I’m irritated that he doesn’t know/remember what I like/don’t like (even when I’ve told him).

I think it’s also the lack of forethought and the sudden pressure on me to make a decision to suit his convenience.

Crikey op! There is clearly something deeper rooted than his desire to buy you perfume!!! The poor man . I actually feel sorry for him

BillyNoM8s · 26/03/2023 17:48

SandyThumb · 26/03/2023 17:45

No, quite happy about his trip. No problem with that.

Yes - ‘hot pockets’ describes it well - I hate the idea of him wasting money on stuff I/we don’t want or need. But if he DOES buy something and I dare complain then it will be my fault for not responding to his urgent messages telling him what I want! Urgh.

Show quote history

Could you be appeased with a giant, overpriced toblerone? They've always got those at the airport. And Milka.

If it's a decent airport we could make suggestions and he may regret asking Smile

I accidentally bought an expensive watch once. I don't even wear watches.

JorisBonson · 26/03/2023 17:49

Jesus. God forbid a man tries to do something nice.

Meandfour · 26/03/2023 17:50

countvoncount · 26/03/2023 17:27

Some guys can't do right for doing wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

This!

ScentOfAMemory · 26/03/2023 17:51

Poor sod.
(Him, obvs)
In MN speak - OP, you sound like hard work.

Swipe left for the next trending thread