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Original poster

DH treating me like crap over DS' chipped tooth

122 replies

user01082312345 · 24/03/2023 12:55

I was giving my 2.5 year old son a bath yesterday evening, and he threw a little tantrum which resulted in him hitting his mouth off the side of the bath, and he chipped one of his front teeth. There was no bleeding or anything, and he doesn't seem to be in any pain, but I booked a dental appointment for him to get it looked at. I feel awful about what happened, but my husband is making me feel ten times worse, he's really angry and says that DS now looks like Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber (and he isn't saying it in a jokey way). DH never bathes DS, feeds him, or changes him. I'm the one who does everything, including all the household chores and most of the cooking, as well as putting DS to bed and getting up when he wakes during night (he often wakes 1-3 times during night). DH uses the excuse he works night shift and he's the one who drives DS places (I don't own a car or drive), but he only works 3-4 times a week. I work from home full time while DS goes to nursery. This is the first time DS has ever injured himself, and the way my DH is acting, it's as if he fractured his skull or something. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm not the shitty parent DH is making me out to be :( I have no family or friends here to turn to, and my in laws are currently away on vacation so I can't even go to them for a break.

OP posts:
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5
Chrispackhamspoodle · 24/03/2023 13:01

You are not a rubbish parent.My DD has a scar on her forehead where she fell down the escalator in my care.She also fell down the stairs at her grandma's.Broke her finger in a door and fell over onto our floor tiles and tore the bit under her tongue all before age 4.She's now 14 and perfectly fine.They have accidents.We do our best. Your husband needs to apologise to you.

KickboxingWanker · 24/03/2023 13:07

It was an accident! My son did the same age 3 he fell when we at the aquarium- chipped a front tooth, all the dentist did was look at it, as there was no pain it was just left until it fell out naturally.
your husband is being ridiculous and cruel tbh - time he pulled his weight and helped out more.
you are not the shit parent here!

itsasmallworldafterall · 24/03/2023 13:19

Happens all the time, if he is eating on it ok then the dentist may do nothing. Far better to happen to a baby tooth. You are doing great to be doing everything without any help.

Madamecastafiore · 24/03/2023 13:19

Fuck me I've heard it all. He drives so he doesn't have to do anything!!

He'd be very hungry wearing very dirty clothes by now if he were mine, then he'd be cold too as he'd be homeless.

What an absolute waste of space in terms of being a dad and a partner!!

billy1966 · 24/03/2023 13:23

It was an accident and your husband sounds like a selfish lazy arsehole.

Don't have another child with him.

Learn to drive if you can and think long and hard if you really want to be with such a loser.

Maray1967 · 24/03/2023 13:29

Agreed. He is one pathetic specimen isn’t he? If my DH had pulled this stunt with me he’d be wishing he hadn’t. The really worrying thing here is he seems more bothered about what your DC looks like than whether he’s ok.
Get him told: accidents happen and I will not be spoken to like this.

CombatBarbie · 24/03/2023 13:33

Jeez it's a baby tooth, maybe he should start bathtime if you're that neglectful

Alishaattic · 24/03/2023 13:34

You are definitely not a shitty parent. DD4 has fallen off the bed, down the stairs, in the garden.. Once we were out walking and she fell so badly she put her hands out in front and they were so so grazed and bloody I felt so awful. Her father was much like your DH and made me feel awful, like I was an awful parent. Needless to say he's my ex after this and a multitude of other reasons.
Please don't let him make you feel awful, the fact that you do shows you care. Xxxx

Wanda616 · 24/03/2023 13:41

What a dick. My DS launched himself face first out of the bath in the second it took me to turn round and pick up a towel. Split his head on the toilet and needed stitched under GA. I am the queen of beating myself up but I can't find any way to blame myself. Shit happens, toddlers are a Menace to themselves and the world around. Your husband needs a serious reality check.

Eyerollcentral · 24/03/2023 13:42

user01082312345 · 24/03/2023 12:55

I was giving my 2.5 year old son a bath yesterday evening, and he threw a little tantrum which resulted in him hitting his mouth off the side of the bath, and he chipped one of his front teeth. There was no bleeding or anything, and he doesn't seem to be in any pain, but I booked a dental appointment for him to get it looked at. I feel awful about what happened, but my husband is making me feel ten times worse, he's really angry and says that DS now looks like Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber (and he isn't saying it in a jokey way). DH never bathes DS, feeds him, or changes him. I'm the one who does everything, including all the household chores and most of the cooking, as well as putting DS to bed and getting up when he wakes during night (he often wakes 1-3 times during night). DH uses the excuse he works night shift and he's the one who drives DS places (I don't own a car or drive), but he only works 3-4 times a week. I work from home full time while DS goes to nursery. This is the first time DS has ever injured himself, and the way my DH is acting, it's as if he fractured his skull or something. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm not the shitty parent DH is making me out to be :( I have no family or friends here to turn to, and my in laws are currently away on vacation so I can't even go to them for a break.

Sincerely, tell him to F off and then inform him he is doing every bath and bed time from now on when he isn’t at work. Don’t do a tap. It will be less than 24 hours before he is back crying looking for your help. How dare he, he sounds like a total ignoramus. Why is he doing nothing? Women need to stop marrying selfish, lazy bs.

MyriadOfTravels · 24/03/2023 13:51

I’m wondering g what your DH would think of me and ds regularly falling over and splitting his lip open. As in blood everywhere open….

It was an accident. Accidents happen. It doesn’t make you an horrible mum. Just a normal mum doing her best.

And the way he is describing his ds is absolutely not on. Why does he feel it’s ok to put a 2.5yo on his looks and teeth?!?

I suppose it’s in line with the rest if his shitty attitude towards you - where treating as a maid and a nanny is ok….

perfectcolourfound · 24/03/2023 13:51

You are certainly not a shitty parent. Children have accidents. I look around my family, and friend's children and I can list - cracked forehead, broken arm, broken ankle, cut lip... all while young and in the care of their loving parents.

However, your DH IS a shitty parent, and a shitty 'partner'. He is lazy, selfish and has no respect for you. Life is too short to spend it with people who make you miserable and don't have your back.

Oojamaflipper · 24/03/2023 14:02

Your husband is a judgmental, lazy, workshy piece of work. Who the hell does he think he is?

You’re not a rubbish parent. These things happen, all the time.

Fatkittythinkitty · 24/03/2023 14:21

I've seen a few of these posts on here over the years - where a young child of a clearly responsible and caring mother has an accident that is entirely not the mother's fault but the husband/father is an arsehole about it. It always seems to the case that these men are completely uninvolved in parenting.

To my mind this means a few things - the man is an arsehole to opt out of family life and neglect to provide any care for their child, they have lost the right to comment due to their lack of involvement and their lack of involvement means they are totally clueless about how easily these kinds of accidents happen anyway.

In short, ignore him op. His reaction says more about him than you.

Crunchingleaf · 24/03/2023 14:38

You didn’t even need to point out that your husband doesn’t do any of the parenting. If he did his reaction would have been more along the lines of I am shocked it has taken this long for something like this to happen.
Toddlers are a danger to themselves. A parent should know this. We do our best to minimise the risks but can’t prevent all scenarios.

Crumpledstilstkin · 24/03/2023 14:44

Parenting is so much easier when you don't have to do any of it.

Anyway, I chipped a tooth as a child and have managed absolutely fine. It wasn't a symptom of crappy parenting in any way, just a natural result of life sometimes involving accidents.

Sunriseinwonderland · 24/03/2023 14:46

Tell him to shut his pie hole. He needs to actually do some parenting before he criticizes yours.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/03/2023 14:50

Crumpledstilstkin · 24/03/2023 14:44

Parenting is so much easier when you don't have to do any of it.

Anyway, I chipped a tooth as a child and have managed absolutely fine. It wasn't a symptom of crappy parenting in any way, just a natural result of life sometimes involving accidents.

What she said. Looks easy when you're just observing.

Wanker.

Original poster
user01082312345 · 24/03/2023 14:53

This is the message I just received from him. I'm at breaking point, I can't stop crying. I should explain that I'm British and he's Canadian. Also I showed him the replies I got to this post in an attempt to show him how unreasonable he's being.

DH treating me like crap over DS' chipped tooth
OP posts:
Fatkittythinkitty · 24/03/2023 14:57

Well now you've posted his point of view and he actually looks worse.

This isn't what a healthy loving relationship looks like op

Eyerollcentral · 24/03/2023 14:58

user01082312345 · 24/03/2023 14:53

This is the message I just received from him. I'm at breaking point, I can't stop crying. I should explain that I'm British and he's Canadian. Also I showed him the replies I got to this post in an attempt to show him how unreasonable he's being.

Divorce him. Seriously. He speaks to you like dirt. I would honestly be telling him to stay elsewhere tonight in response to that message. He is not a good husband or father. You haven’t even been to see a dentist yet. He is a dreadful man. Please do not stay with anyone who speaks to you like this and clearly thinks so little of you. I notice he is still happy to leave you minding the child all the time so it’s not about your son and his safety, it’s about him abusing you.

Motnight · 24/03/2023 15:00

He is vile.

PurBal · 24/03/2023 15:09

DS has a chipped tooth, also a bath accident. He’s 19mo and it happened ages ago. At least he’ll get a new set. I bashed and chipped my teeth going in for a (poorly judged) snog at 14, a permanent reminder of my high school boyfriend 😂

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 24/03/2023 15:10

"You're right DH, I am a shitty parent & can no longer be trusted to do bathtime, feed him or change him so you need to take over. While you're at it, you can start doing the cooking & cleaning, because I've decided I'm no longer your personal housekeeper."

Then make your plans & LTB.
What is the point of him - honestly?

IDontWantToBeAPie · 24/03/2023 15:18

Milk teeth chip, fall out etc. kids are whirlwinds and most will knock out a tooth or something at some point. I remember a few of my little pals in primary coming in with a big old chip.