Male perspective with OLD

[Shunter350]

Hi everyone,

For context I'm a 58 year old guy. Separated. Live alone.
Online dating .. I'm really wanting to vent about one subject and have a serious question about another.

Anyway the vent first ( and it's reasonably light hearted )..
I regard myself as non adventurous.
I'm not into mountaintop star jumps, skiing, white water rafting or holidays in Egypt on camels.
I enjoy box sets, reading, pubs and coffee shops.
A bop around the kitchen is wonderful too!
And I have a libido!
My OLD profile is genuine. I spend hours getting it right. It's me in 400 words or so.
So why do 90% of women want to proclaim that they really LOVE to be active, just can't wait to travel the world ( again ) with "someone special"!?
Ladies.. we aren't all misogynistic alpha males!
I've used various sites and this attitude is spread across them all.
Vent over.

Serious now..

Do potential matches expect the guy to send the first message?
I get notifications that someone has visited my profile, sometimes several times but haven't "liked" me.
So is it up to me to jump in?

It's all a minefield..

Btw I have no axe to grind with OLD. I've had a couple of short relationships through OLD. It does work, it's more difficult in areas of low population like mine, but it can be soul sapping.

Thank you all.

@TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu

...and what's wrong with a dance round the kitchen. Or any other part of the house..? 🤔

Nice one! 🤭

Nothing at all Shunter. I am an inveterate tease, & have not yet got over you feeling entitled to bang on about your libido because you reckon your next woman owes you for the 20-year sexual drought you endured with your previous one, so am finding it hard not to mock.

Have you actually mentioned your libido on your profile.

As others have said, that's a given/the default and mentioning it would put me off if I read it. It's not necessary and I'd feel pressured just imagining the sex life.

I wouldn't being your issues from your previous major relationship into your old profile. Esp sexual.

*bring

Also very confused indeed about the correlation between women who like travelling and hiking - with wanting alpha males or trying to attract alpha males or something (??)

Lots of people love travelling, 50% are likely to be women. Lots of people love hiking: ditto.

They're just saying what they enjoy.

I don't think the vast majority of them are somehow trying to attract alpha males by saying that.

There's quite a nig of chauvanism behind that apparent assumption.

Anyway, do traditional alpha males want women to do their outdoor/sports activities with them? Not really in my experience - they tend to do them in male groups. And many of them tend to go for high maintenance, glamourous, traditionally "feminine" women who often don't pursue outdoor activities (and any travelling they do is 4/5 star Instagram stuff). So I'd never presume I'd attract an "alpha male" by saying I'm outdoorsy or sporty. The only exception I can think of is sailors who want a partner who can help them on the yacht (unless they don't do couple holidays/breaks on it).

Also the word "bop"...... Hmm

I dropped the libido thing. I tend to agree it reads like I'm desperate for a shag.

@TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu that's the spirit! I've decided to take this thread as it comes. We're all different fortunately.
Some posts are offensive to me but hey ho.. they don't know me so let it be.
But many posts are very helpful. The female perspective is important to me in relationships and intimate matters.
But ultimately we should all be able to laugh at ourselves, especially in the bedroom or, erm, kitchen..

Everyone wants to appear interesting.

I am in your age range, I’m married and we enjoy hiking but this is 10 miles in the Peaks, not the 20 miles I used to do with hardcore hiking, cycling but not the Tour de France levels DH used to do, box sets on Netflix, museums, crosswords, gaming, dinner and lunch out about. DH does park run as well.

I find some people start to feel their mortality in their fifties, I have had two friends die over the last two years so I get it, so many people want to do adventurous stuff while they still can. Also of my peer group it was the husbands who would keep up with their hobbies, women friends were more likely to sacrifice stuff for childcare. So they are freer now.

Why didn't you ask any of your female friends then?

Did you put it to them it's their fault for not fancying you?

Entitled male bullshit. Blaming the women for fancying alpha males.

Off you bop

@callthataspade

Hmm.. nope. I'll hang around for a while..

Attractive.

Didn't think you had any female friends!

Oh shit. Did I say attractive? I meant creepy as fuck

Gotta love men showing their entitledness in a predominantly female space

Cultivate female friends.
Read literature written by women.
Watch films by female directors.
Sign up to political blogs written by & aimed at women.

That's where you'll find your female perspective.

& keep laughing at yourself, men who can do that are disappointingly rare.

Yes, exactly. Women are 50% of the human race, and our perspectives aren’t some shadowy arcana that you have to go on a dangerous quest to find.

.

"Oh shit. Did I say attractive? I meant creepy as fuck

Gotta love men showing their entitledness in a predominantly female space"

⬆️ absolutely this. As this thread has gone on I think we are all getting a very good idea why OP's attempts to 'charm' have been unsuccessful and why chats have fizzled out. Huge creepy vibes and entitled attitude.

That aside, he is clearly sticking about now purely for the Troll Kicks and we really ought not feed it...

OK, I’ve changed my mind. If you want my female perspective on anything from your OLD woes to the future of human civilisation, you have to do an ultramarathon in full armour through an unpleasantly enchanted forest, and then answer three riddles. Or I eat you.

Your posts give off strong Nice Guy vibes, which isn't a good thing. The suggestion that more masculine, attractive men are all misogynists is just a way to frighten women into settling with a sexed-up couch potato such as yourself. Most women in their 50s are still youthful and vibrant in outlook and will demand more than this.

@Shunter350 Hmm.. nope. I'll hang around for a while..

For what purpose?

To show everyone what a knob he is?

He's doing awfully well. 👏

You should put a link to this thread on your profile. You come across really well here. Honest. I've checked in with the WhatsApp group that all women are part of and we all agree.

I'd avoid anyone whose status is "separated". Not that I think they might be married but because I don't want to be an emotional crutch through someone else's messy divorce. I'd want someone who's well over their ex and emotionally available without distraction.

@callthataspade oh, silly Spade, with your little female ideas!