Taking care of grandchildren. Need advise please

[HowRatherGolly]

My daughter landed a job while on her maternity leave, a nice job which would take her to a new level in her field. As the nursery is unable to take the little one, 9 months, until August the earliest they asked me to help take care of GS from 8am till 5pm Mon to Fri. This I have done for all of February apart from this week where her SM has flown over from Spain to assist.

My problem is my DD and her DP have not arranged any care from May to August so I know they will ask me to help for 45 hours a week. I want to say this does not suit me as I am teaching in the evening 2x a week and work part time in the mornings from April. I get told off like a 5 year old if I put my foot down gently and say I cannot do this. Also, I suffer with a neurological disorder which is difficult to manage with a little baby on my hip.

Those of you with grandmothers, are you expecting so much help with the GC?

As much as I like to help and love my GC, I just feel its a lot, and have a hard time getting this across to them.

Your daughter needs to understand that there is a reason why we do not carry on having babies as we age: it gets too much! Also your daughter needs to understand the concept of a ‘service human’ , that you are not solely on this planet to service her life. Harsh but needs to be heard.
If she’s more tired than she should be then she needs to address that:
Anaemic?
Depressed?
Needs a vitamin supplement?
Needs to exercise, lose weight?
Husband being a wet blanket? Etc
You decide what you can manage, like two days max, and let them sort out the rest. You are also entitled to enjoy this stage of your life without the exhaustion of constant small children. You are family, not the unpaid help. Good luck from fellow granny who had to find her boundaries x

There’s a world of difference between happily doing what you can and your DD’s expectations that you’ll be a full time + nanny.
I was very happy to help with my DGCs and to help out around the house with cleaning etc but thankfully my DS and DDIL had no expectations that I’d put my life on hold to do this.
Your DD seems to expect this as her right 🙄

When they initially asked if you would be able to help with the child care was there a time limit discussed? Giving your daughter the benefit of the doubt perhaps there has been a break down in communication and she assumed it would be until August? You can word it that way when you make it clear that you can't continue with the full time care of your precious GC. Sometimes our grownup busy children forget that our lives and commitments are not secondary to their needs anymore! Of course you don't want to cause any resentment and reassure her you do love being part of the child's life and you know how to get your point across in the best way. You've done your parenting duties. I don't think grandparent duties should be a full-time job too. Good luck