Hi Op@sopsop
This is classic case of domestic abuse
It's emotional abusive behaviour
it's drip drip like water 💧 effect,
You don't realise how corrosive it is, until the damage has became detrimental, to your emotional stability,
This is the reason why the wording has changed from domestic violence to domestic abuse which includes /covers all types of abusive behaviour in its entirety,
It's unfortunately all too common,
I would even say that swearing is being verbally emotionally violence with words too,
You say you are not perfect
Who is perfect Op
Nobody is, that who,
Stop making excuses for his behaviour,
My advice is to seek /look at addressing the issue/ or issues of why you have been acctracted to this kind of Partner in first place ?
Often the issue can go back to childhood or something in past that's shaken your sense of self hence low self esteem, ect
What kind of relationship did your parents have then. Op?
even consirder going into effective therapy/therapies whatever this maybe,
But only go on your own,
Don't go into couples therapy, as this type of abusive partner will try to manipulative the kind of therapy you would have in some way, via therapist, ect
Your partners behaviour sounds ingrained ,
Does he admit that he has anger issues 🤔 at all?
Or
Is indenial as often is all too depressing the case?
Even if he admitted his behaviour was wrong and he apologise and he seek therapy on his own to address this,
Would he be doing this to placate you (give you false hope to stay longer in this relationship?
Even with therapy,
there is no gaurenteed that his ingrained abusive ways would ever change sufficiently enough for long term,
(it could/often be just like covering with a plaster over overwhelming gaping psyche wounds)
Is this relationship really worth Salvage of constant work in progress of trying to make it good enough?
A relationship shouldn't be hard work and headwork,