Dm found condom in my bin

[Gobbledygoo]

So bit of a backstory, split up with my ex 2 years ago after 14 years together took a while to pick myself back up and start living again.
long story short I started seeing a guy over Xmas and he stayed over at mine one night this week.
fast forward to today my mother rings me on the phone today, tells me what a disgrace I am how she’s so ashamed of me and I’m a slag, I need to remember I’m a mother, all sorts of shit turns out she took my kids to McDonald’s and when emptying the rubbish out of the car she found condom wrappers in my bin. Like is this not an extreme reaction. I only ever see this guy when I my ex has the kids, so it’s not like I throw them to the side and choose him over them, I don’t know why I’m writing this I just felt like a naughty schoolgirl been told off.

Your mum is way out of order.

You're an adult, presumably, and condoms mean you were safe.

She's clearly an old fashioned fart. Do what you want so long and you and your kids are safe it's not her business.

Did you tell her they had ridges for your pleasure?

Tell her to piss off and cop on.

Omg she is so out of order , nothing I do with her !

She called you a slag? That’s so way over the line, I don’t know what to suggest! Tell her it’s a massive over reaction, she’s been insulting to you and aside from that, your love life is none of her business! Don’t feel bad - not your issueX

This made me laugh out loud I so wish I’d have thought of it, she’d have had a fit lol

(I’m late 30’s) by the way 😂

I hope she didn’t still have the children with her when she was saying this stuff to their mother! She is completely out of order. I would have nothing to do with her until she apologises and it is completely heartfelt.

Has she been abusive in the past to you? I’m sorry she’s been like this. Honestly I’d stop contact if my mum spoke to me like that, it’s abhorrent

Yep, asked me what sort of example I was setting my daughters (teens) and that it’s nothing to be proud of that I can ‘open my legs’ for anything that gives me attention.

Oh I could fill a thread.

She is attempting to shame you but don’t take it on. Has she got form for this or is it a new thing? Did you say anything in response?

Sorry, this was in reply to Wonderpoo

Your mum is really out of order. She should be happy for you that you're moving on. Very strange reaction from her.

What did you say to her ?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Also, your mother is an arse hole OP. I have one like it

Ermmmm. I hope you told her to fuck off. 😬

I'm confused- your mum drove your car to McDonalds then cleared it out and found wrappers? You were in the car at the time when she cleared out your car of rubbish? She was sifting through your household bins?

Either way- you are an adult, she sounds prude and would she prefer you weren't protected??? Does she know you have split from your partner?

Defiantly not a new thing she’s always tried to put me down, I usually rise above it but this just seems so private, it’s very early days with this guy and no one knew I was seeing him because I didn’t want my kids to feel pushed out and I feel now like I've had to admit to a very early stage ‘relationship’ before I was ready if you know what I mean.

I had exactly the same from my mother, I could have written your post… the only difference is my mother made all that fuss because she found one of his socks in the washing basket!

Thankfully, after so many years, she has finally resigned to my sinful life and welcomes my partner as a new son.

No she’d picked my kids up from their dads gone to McDonald’s before dropping them at my house and used my bin to clear the rubbish from her car, as she dropped them off, hope this makes sense

Would she prefer you were having unprotected sex then? So out of order!

She’s been extremely out of line. To try and shame you for normal behaviour, an adult woman being safe and not harming anyone. How dare she.

Reminds me of when my mum accompanied me to the hospital when I had a termination following an accidental pregnancy resulting from a relationship that had lasted for well over a year at the time. She was very supportive of me then in general (as was the bf) but felt the need to point out to the doctor that I didn't normally sleep around. I was 24 at the time and I'm not sure why she claimed to know how many sexual partners I had had (she had no idea!).

I’d be going no contact to be honest. Explain in a note that it’s unacceptable to insult you in this way. If she gives a genuine apology, fine,but likely as not she won’t. Don’t put up with this in your life - it’s abuse