Baby dad got another girl pregnant

[Megan000]

This is gonna be really long to explain so thank you in advance to whoever reads this. I need to give a bit of a backstory to explain my dilemma.

I don’t know what to do I’m struggling mentally to cope with the situation I’m in…I’m 22 I’ve just found out my daughters dad is expecting another baby with another girl and it’s broken me. I’ve known my baby dad since 2018 we were friends first and then got into a relationship I was his first girlfriend, I took his virginity etc we loved each other we were very serious and I ended up getting pregnant…long story short he ended up going to jail in 2019 just before I had our daughter and during his 6months in jail I cheated on him it’s my biggest regret but he never contacted me while he was in jail only spoke to his friends and I felt so alone being a new young mum so I got back with one of my exs it was nice having someone around and my baby dad didn’t really want our baby so I didn’t know how he’d be when he came out to a brand new daughter but he was devastated to find out I cheated and it ruined our relationship he went back to jail around April 2021 and he came out again same time last year this time round when he was in jail we spoke a bit more nearer his release date I even went to see him once, we were planning to get back together but when he got released he changed and didn’t take me seriously ever since I cheated he’s understandably turned cold and become a ‘fuck boy’ talks to loads of girls and sleeps with them he dosent do relationships since me.

I’ve had a boyfriend since the end of 2021 we’ve been together around a year and a half he’s involved in my daughters life he’ll see her every now and then and he’s very good with her my daughter adores him but deep down I want to be with my baby dad and we’ve been talking on and off I don’t want to have children with anyone else but him I know it’s bad but I’d leave my boyfriend in a heartbeat to be with my baby dad if he was serious I know he’s been in and out of jail not really seen our daughter but I love him deep down and I always will. 2 months ago he told me he was staying up in Manchester for a bit (we’re both from london) as it’s more low profile for him we haven’t been talking that much but we spoke a bit 2 weeks ago and then stopped. I was contacted by a random girl 2 days ago who asked me if I knew where my baby dad was saying she was worried about him…to make it short she ended up telling me she’s pregnant with his baby and he’s just disappeared and she’s worried…I called my baby dad straight away hoping it was a lie but he confirmed it he told me he’d stayed with her for just over a month he was literally living with her the whole time he was there so I know they would’ve been having sex but she got pregnant fast and he’s not known her for long at all he’s saying he dosent want the baby but she’s saying she’s gonna keep it she’s pretty much in love with him but all girls fall in “love” with him quickly. It’s a lot for me to take on as I always hoped we’d get back together and have more children, rekindle our relationship etc as I said I don’t want children with anyone else it’s not like I was done one night stand we have a lot of history and we’re friends before anything but now that’s gone out the window my whole life plans have gone I can’t get my head around it he’s been with a lot of girls since me but they’ve been one timers not a serious girl he was living with and got pregnant this isn’t some girl he can just cut off. I’m really broken even more the thought of him not being there for our daughter but then having a new kid and being there for them treating them good kills me I dunno how I’m gonna cope knowing he could be out there with this girl and their baby playing happy families while me and my daughter are forgotten about and struggling financially etc im dreading it I don’t want my daughter to feel unwanted or like that child’s more special then her it’s gonna hurt seeing him being there for her like he should’ve been with me. I have depression and anxiety and get suicidal and this has just tipped me off the edge I know you may be thinking I’m better off without him but I wanted us to get back together and love him a lot I’m struggling to cope with this situation I’m in so much pain mentally and physically as much as I try to distract myself and forget about it I can’t. He’s back in London now but I think he’s planning on going back to Manchester I don’t know if he’s being honest with me but although he likes the girl it seems like he dosent want the baby and it’s put him off her but all I can picture is him getting back with her and as I said playing happy families it’ll effect my daughter more then me but I’m finding it hard to stay positive I know I have a boyfriend but this really has broken me. When we spoke he also said he wants to see me weather it happens I don’t actually know but I don’t want him two timing both of us as I know if we met we’d end up doing stuff cutting him off isn’t possible as I do love him. I feel like if I was pregnant with my boyfriends baby or we had a baby of our own maybe I wouldn’t feel as depressed as I would’ve properly moved on and started a new family of course I’d still be hurt but I don’t think it’d effect me as much my baby dad dosent think about things he does he had sex with her multiple times ejaculated inside of her and then dosent want the baby he didn’t want her to get pregnant although his actions say otherwise when she said she’s pregnant I was really hoping she was lying especially as it was only a month they were together but she showed me four positive pregnancy tests and claimed they’re in a relationship and we’re living together for a month I started ignoring her messages and she got rude and started calling me names and making threats so I’ve blocked her now but just can’t get my head around this and can’t stop thinking about it it’s not as if he fully moved on and got int a serious relationship with a girl for months and then they wanted to start a family he was with her for a month and accidentally got her pregnant 2 weeks ago when me and him were talking and saying we wanna sort stuff out he was with her in Manchester’s as much as he hates me for cheating and ruining what we had I know we could’ve ended up getting back together if he was persistent with it.

I dunno what responses to expect as nothing anyone says will make me better due to my depression this whole thing has made me feel very suicidal but I just needed to get it off my chest if anyone’s been in this experience and gone through this pain please share your thoughts as I’m feeling very depressed and I’m not gonna get over this any time soon 😔💔

I'm trying to work out if the phrase 'in, out, in out' is coming to my mind due to his jail time or the use of his penis.

Were you actually in a relationship when you got back with your ex? Doesn't sound like you were so that's not cheating.
Also you can do better for yourself and your daughter than someone who keeps going to prison.
I know it's hard when you are in love but he's not as into you as much as you are him.

Why on earth would you want to be with this loser. He has no respect for you. Move on

I doubt very much that you are going to get any support on here. I don’t think it’s the place. I’m genuinely sorry things are so tough for you at the moment but perhaps quit whilst you’re ahead on here. The above post is a good indicator of what you’re in for.

Why would you want to get back with a 'fuck boy' who's in and out of prison and doesn't see your daughter?
You can do better and your daughter deserves better.
It sounds like you're in love with the idea of a perfect family with him but that will never happen because that's not who he is.
Don't settle for a shit excuse of a man.

For the love of god woman, your ex is a loser and a criminal!! Pick your standards up off the floor and get some therapy to figure out why you’re so drawn to shit men. You have to prioritise your child now, not stupid teenage drama and arsehole men. Find some strength and focus on your future, not your past, and make sure you’re claiming maintenance, if this loser is working at all.

Oh another condom refuser, they get everywhere,

Your DD has more love for you in her little finger than this guy could muster in his whole lifetime. She deserves better than a dad who has been in and out of prison, YOU deserve better! Good luck

Wow, that’s a lot.
Die to the fact that you are quite young and obviously not in a great place I am going to try and be kind.
This man is a complete loser and you should actually pity any other woman he impregnates rather than feel jealous.

Stop blaming yourself for cheating. If someone doesn’t bother to contact you for months when you have their child you’re not in a relationship. You didn’t cheat- he ended the relationship through cutting contact and then you moved on. then during his next jail time he strung you along until he was released. There doesn’t seem to be anything desirable about him.

I think your priority should be getting yourself in a happy space for you and your daughter. sadly her dad is clearly going to be an inconsistent and disappointing figure in her life, so she needs you to be consistent and to protect her from all his messing about.

It’s true I guess as I always hoped we’d get back together and be a proper family…I don’t know who my real dad is I grew up with my real dad not wanting to know about me and instead having another baby with someone else and being there for them instead of me it made me feel unwanted and wonder what was wrong with me I don’t want my daughter to now go through the same that’s all I’m dreading as I can picture him playing happy families with her and being there for their child while he never sees our daughter again and it hurts a lot.

Don’t repeat that trauma for your daughter. Leave him in the past and aim for better for her.

What’s wrong with you is that due to your waste of space father you now have very very poor taste in men, no boundaries and low self esteem.
You have made mistakes, haven’t we all? The question now is how many more are you going to make?

You keep posting about this loser, forget him.

I think this is one of those times where you need to listen to your head and not your heart. He's no good for you and he'll never change.

Make sure you're claiming maintenance from him - I doubt it'll amount to much now but it all adds up. Concentrate on yourself and your daughter and making a good life for both of you without him. Good luck 💐

Forget him, your daughter needs you to do better than this.

Your Baby Dad?? There was no relationship there, why wouldn't he happily go on to be Baby Daddy (🤮) to others as well?

First of all you need to address what it is in you that makes you set your bar so very, very low. Your daughter will learn how relationships work and set her standards by what she sees from you. For her sake, raise your bar!

Oh gawd OP. It's a shit show for sure.

You need some help in real life to see what's going on here. You ex is a fuckwit, he is unreliable, a criminal and he must be a shit one to end up banged up all the time, he's awful to you you you dream of some utopia where you all live together happy ever after. You're dreaming.

You need to wake up. And sharpish. Stop contacting him. And contact your GP for help with depression. Contact Womens aid. Get help where ever you can.

You have another thread about your current boyfriend being controlling. You urgently need to do far, far better for your child, it’s not acceptable to inflict criminal scum or abusers on her.

You’d need to to extensive therapy and work on self esteem and standards before even contemplating inflicting another bloke on the child. She needs to be your priority. Forget all thoughts of these shit blokes.

You may always love your ex, that's true, or you might well look back in a couple of years and wonder what the heck you ever saw in him. Either way, your ex doesn't sound good for you or your daughter in the long run. He sounds unreliable in every possible way and you would be signing yourself and your current and any future children to a lifetime of being let down. As previous posters have said, focus on making a better future for yourself and your daughter.

I've just seen your other threads about your current boyfriend.
Ditch him as well. Do the freedom programme. Concentrate on doing something for yourself, you've just got a new house so look towards a fresh start.
For the love of God do not get pregnant to either of these men.

You need to lose the current b/f too.

You have the power to keep your dd from repeating this drama
cycle with her own life.

call your GP and tell them you need help with your mental health.

stop dating. Just stop dating anyone for a couple of years. Focus on yourself and your daughter. Build a life for the two of you independent of any men.

What do you love about him exactly?