What's the problem with an age gap?

[sn21]

I'm 24 and with a man who's 43. We've been together a year nearly everything is going so well. I know many people have made things work with an age gap and it doesn't bother me in the slightest however have had some comment telling me to "watch out" and people who have been in age gap relationships before have said that they felt "weird" but no one will actually go into detail. Been in a dv relationship before so just want to know if there's something I should be looking out for or if it's just genuinely because people could never get used to the fact of an age gap.

What's your opinion?
If you have ended an age gap relationship why, and what's the so called hidden agenda of older men?

So as you please. My husband is 12 years older than me. We have two beautiful children and a lovely life. It certainly wasn't met with positivity from friends or family.

When you're 53 he's 73 you'll probably know why people don't favour such a large age gap

When you are 43 op, you will find 24 year olds to be immature. They could also be your child. Creepy and inappropriate.

DH and I have an age gap of 14 years. It hasn’t been an issue until DH retired last year aged 62 and I’m looking at nearly another 20 years until my retirement age.

We’ve been together a very long time so have worked through things but for the first time, we are at very different life stages with me at the highest point of my career with all the stress that goes with it and him pottering around the house retired. We do have a plan for me to scale back much earlier than 67 but it’s not been easy to adapt.

With a nearly 20 year age gap, I would seriously think again. It’s may be fine until he reaches retirement age or develops age related health issues but issues will arise. Because DH and I have been together nearly 30 years we have ridden the storm but newer relationship would have struggled.

I got asked out by a work colleague through email yesterday. He is at least 20 years younger than me. It seemed so absurd that I thought his account had been hacked..

Do you not find though that in an age gap relationship having one person retired and at home means they take a lot of the strain of housework, laundry, food shopping, schoolrun etc? I've certainly found my career has really surged ahead having older retired DH taking care of all that mental load and practical stuff giving me, for example, the flexibility to travel for work without worrying about being back for wraparound childcare timings.

It's like having a SAH-parent but still having two incomes.

Or are these retired older men mostly sitting around still expecting a woman to run around after them whilst she's working too?!

I think this is exactly it.

You can only understand once you're the older person, how thoroughly wrong it is. Decent older people wouldn't do it.

Yes, this.

Age gaps, even big ones, don’t necessarily fall foul of this issue where the relationship starts when woman is 30/35+, because by then most women are much more certain about who they are, what they want and what nonsense they won’t put up with. When you are in your early 20s, it’s very different.

But additionally, wait until you’re in your 40s. I was out in a bar with (male) friends in their 40s recently and they were saying how women in their 20s suddenly look like children to them and how weird it is that some older men were hitting on them. You’ll have a similar realisation in your 40s.

Honestly I just can't imagine being in my 30s with someone in their 50s. Or wanting to have a baby with someone who could die when they're child is a young adult and they're too tired to wake up with the baby.

Your life experiences are vastly different: at 42 he'd likely have done all the things I still wanted to do in my 20s and 30s. Plus my mates would find it weird hanging out with some bloke their dads age.

20 year age gap here and it became bad once he hit his late 40's/early 50's. Around 18 years in.
Our lives revolve around his naps. He has one on his lunch and one when he gets home from work. He sometimes has 3 on a Saturday and Sunday.
He has zero patience with anything and is so so miserable. His views are becoming more and more offensive by the day and he has nothing nice to say about anything - this is personality admittedly but I'm in my thirties, it's completely alien to me, I'm a wokey snowflake apparently.
He cannot do anything on technology, meaning everything falls to me as everything is digital now, along with all housekeeping and childcare.
We won't last much longer