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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Boyfriend cheated, need advice.

129 replies

NewUser11 · 26/01/2023 15:09

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, it's the best relationship I've been in and I trusted him a lot.

A few weeks ago I found out that 2 weeks into officially being boyfriend and girlfriend (we had been speaking for 2 months prior to this) he kissed another girl on a night out.

I don't know what to do, he has never given me a reason to not trust him and I'm devastated. I want to stay with him because it was right at the beginning of our relationship but also am unsure if this is the right decision. He is very regretful and apologetic, I truly believe he hasn't done anything since but I'm struggling to get this out of my mind.

Any advice is appreciated.

OP posts:
pointythings · 27/01/2023 12:35

I don't think you're ready for a relationship. You aren't mature enough to understand the situation despite having had things explained to you, you haven't addressed your trust issues and you are not accepting any responsibility for your behaviour. Please end it, spend a good few years being single and working on your self esteem and maturity and then start again.

Original poster
NewUser11 · 27/01/2023 12:37

@pointythings maybe you're right.

I'm aware of my trust issues, I am currently looking into therapy to try and discuss this further.

OP posts:
pointythings · 27/01/2023 13:01

@NewUser11 I think that would be incredibly good for you. Ultimately you want to be secure and happy and you deserve that, as does whoever you end up with. Give yourself time, work on yourself and you'll be fine. Good luck!

happinessischocolate · 28/01/2023 09:23

Fragrantandfoolish · 27/01/2023 12:30

Look op. For you this is an issue, for a few others too. For the rest of us, it’s not great, but it was a drunken snog 2 weeks into a relationship that you didn’t even want to admit to.

You’d rather folks thought you were just shagging him at that stage . Which quite frankly is offensive and humiliating to him . Now yoire snooping on his phone.and making a fucking mountain of drama over a drunken snog at the start.

all your actions you seem to think are in some way justified and not so bad. He’s minorly stepped out of line briefly once and you want to crucify him.

hard work doesn’t even begin to describe it. So stop with your Ill treatment if this man, either put it behind you or end it.

Agree with this

I'd have more of a problem with a partner snooping on my phone 2 years into our relationship than I would if I found out they'd snogged someone 2 years ago when we just met.

If they then made a big deal out of some minor thing they found in my phone I'd be gone.

Finish the relationship and let the lad find someone normal.

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