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Original poster

Is this banter or more serious?

102 replies

Lookingtothefuturenow · 19/01/2023 08:15

What would you make of a boyfriend who:

  • mocks your car
  • tells you to speed up or overtake when driving
  • criticises things about your home, that you worked hard to buy when still in your 20s
  • made fun of your choice of music
  • generally quizzed you about things that he knows a lot about and you don't, making you feel a bit stupid?
OP posts:
ThatshallotBaby · 19/01/2023 08:16

I’d think he was immature and maybe a bit controlling.

ThatshallotBaby · 19/01/2023 08:16

And jealous

AttilaTheMeerkat · 19/01/2023 08:17

I would be dumping such a person immediately.

maddy68 · 19/01/2023 08:17

It sounds like he has a bit of an immature sense of humour.

Are you a little sensitive about your belongings?

Just tell him to grow up

Parky04 · 19/01/2023 08:18

Pretty simple, he would be an ex boyfriend! Why put up with that amount of crap?

AutisticLegoLover · 19/01/2023 08:18

I would think he's a twat and dump him. It will only get worse.

FrenchandSaunders · 19/01/2023 08:20

He knows he’s punching and you’re better than him so he’s putting you down. Dump him.

Unananana · 19/01/2023 08:20

I'd dump him. Sounds like an utter bore.

If you won't dump him, don't EVER drive him anywhere. He can't possibly have a license as he doesn't sound grown up enough......

strumpert · 19/01/2023 08:20

He wouldn't be a boyfriend for too long.

Todaynotalways · 19/01/2023 08:20

I had a boyfriend ike this in my 20's - I came to the conclusion he was systematically undermining me, in small but consistent ways.

I think they call it 'negging' these days.

Looking back, he was fairly toxic.

LiteralSycamore · 19/01/2023 08:21

I would think he was someone who wouldn’t have merited a second date.

Opaljewel · 19/01/2023 08:21

Sounds like a jealous joyless prick. I'd get rid of someone who didn't celebrate the wins in my life. Hes dead weight.

Giggorata · 19/01/2023 08:22

I'd think he was a twat. I wouldn't want to be around someone like that.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 19/01/2023 08:23

I'd think he was an arsehole and dump him immediately.

He's trying to make you feel bad about yourself, to make himself feel superior, and you inferior.

It will continue and escalate if you put up with it. It'll never stop. Drip drip drip. Like water torture.

UnfinishedBusiness · 19/01/2023 08:24

I’d think he was a twat.

Much as I love my father he has a hurtful, sarcastic sense of “humour” that’s quite hurtful at times (nearly all the time), and he doesn’t seem capable of change, or indeed of recognising how damaging his off hand comments can be. He doesn’t recognise that something that wouldn’t be his taste might be someone else’s, and that it is fine to like different things without belittling another persons preferences. Do you want this to be your life forever?

Notformethankyoukindly · 19/01/2023 08:26

I’d think he’s not my boyfriend, just your common or garden pain in the arse. Not good enough for me. Next.

Fuckstix · 19/01/2023 08:26

Sounds unpleasant and tedious. I hate the term 'banter' used as such. Where's the wit involved in putting someone down? Anyone can go 'you're shit, your house is a dump and you can't drive'. It's not funny. I think he's trying to put you into a manageable sized box to suit his ego. You deserve someone who builds you up instead. Don't bother with this shit. It's not an outward sign of anything good.

Remona · 19/01/2023 08:27

I’d think he was a bully.

I bet when you pull him up on these hurtful comments, he says “I’m only joking”.

He’s a prick.

GimmeBiscuits · 19/01/2023 08:30

I'd think he was a twat.

weathervane1 · 19/01/2023 08:30

He's making himself feel good at your expense. Eventually you'll start to believe him. Does he have any good points?

PrinceHaz · 19/01/2023 08:32

This is most definitely someone to dump. If your next partner is similar dump even more quickly.

Watchkeys · 19/01/2023 08:34

There's no over arching authority to tell us what's banter and what's serious. He may feel it's banter, you may feel it's serious.

It's not about what we think, it's about how seriously you decide to take it.

Does it feel, to you, like banter? Or does it feel like he's getting at you? That's what's important.

frozendaisy · 19/01/2023 08:35

I would pull up the car safely and tell him to get out or shut up.

Actually I just couldn't be bothered with the rest to be honest.

Your taste, driving, house are all fine. He is not fine

NewUserName2023 · 19/01/2023 08:41

Feedback is healthy communication but he sounds like he's trying to undermine your confidence and everything you've achieved to boost his own fragile ego. That's no "joke". Tell him to stop as it's giving you the ick and if he won't, dump him and move on!

VickerishAllsort · 19/01/2023 08:47

I'd think he was a knobhead.
Why would you want to be with someone who is deliberately unkind and negative about things that matter to you?
In the bin with him.

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