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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This is an odd one…

53 replies

Nonagainst · 10/01/2023 00:08

My dick head ex husband walked out about 9 months ago. He was having multiple affairs, abusing me financially, physically, emotionally and mentally. Anyway, thank goodness he walked out.

He started dating a ‘new’ woman 2 weeks after he walked and I found out. At the time I was still in complete shock over him walking out and was an absolute mess. When I found out I called him and basically asked him what the f**k was going on! Here I am dying inside and he’s off dating another woman! Upon me bawling my eyes out to him he said he’d end it as it was ‘too much drama for him’.

To the present day. I’m like 99% sure he’s still with the woman (I don’t care) as he’s alluded to it multiple times etc.

This is where it gets weird. We have a child together. He sees our kid every two weeks and upon every collection my ex looks in my bins (not a euphemism). I see him on my front door camera which he knows is there but yet every time, he’s looking in my bins, deposes of nothing but just opens them, looks in and shuts them. At first I thought it was a bit funny but now I’m like ??????

I suspect he’s trying to see if I’m dating someone so that we can announce his woman on social media (that’s how I found out about her, two weeks after he left he was sending her love heart and loving messages all over her profiles online and lovely Instagram recommended her profile to me haha)

Am I missing something?! Why on Earth is he looking in my bloody bins!!!! At first I didn’t care but it’s happening every time now and I feel a bit weirded by it.

OP posts:
Facecream · 10/01/2023 00:14

print out a large sign saying if you look in here again you will lose your eyes… see what he does then

Facecream · 10/01/2023 00:14

I mean.. stick it on top of the rubbish

Northernsouloldies · 10/01/2023 00:25

Put a condom wrapper in the rubbish that will get the bugger thinking.

SLS500 · 10/01/2023 00:26

Stick a note inside "wtf are you looking for you weirdo?"

Or perhaps just leave a dog turd

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 10/01/2023 00:29

Buy the biggest size condoms you can find and leave the box and some wrappers in the top of the bin

Straycatblue · 10/01/2023 00:34

Everytime he comes over have increasingly weird objects in your bin ... for example Jack in the boxes & airhorns that activate when the lid opened, toy skeletons , blow up dinosaurs , go wild! Make sure ring camera is recording his reactions then upload & make your millions on Tik tok 😁

...be totally deadpan if he asks about them, act like he's the weirdo & seeing things

Or get bin locks to frustrate him , if he asks why say it's to prevent rats getting in 😉

SLS500 · 10/01/2023 00:37

Yessss! Here you go

condoms.uk/products/pasante-super-king-condoms

Elfidela1980 · 10/01/2023 00:38

He has now left you no choice but to get a these lads ordered and attach them to the inside of your bin lids on a bit of black elastic…

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/231081195564?mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5338624526&toolid=20006&customid=3f660c6770d24b1cdc959518a368ad8c&gbraid=0AAAAADGzhXQauObuMmUq76PofYhSRqtCw

HappyNewYear2023 · 10/01/2023 00:41

Straycatblue · 10/01/2023 00:34

Everytime he comes over have increasingly weird objects in your bin ... for example Jack in the boxes & airhorns that activate when the lid opened, toy skeletons , blow up dinosaurs , go wild! Make sure ring camera is recording his reactions then upload & make your millions on Tik tok 😁

...be totally deadpan if he asks about them, act like he's the weirdo & seeing things

Or get bin locks to frustrate him , if he asks why say it's to prevent rats getting in 😉

Genius!

hoppityscotch · 10/01/2023 06:24

HappyNewYear2023 · 10/01/2023 00:41

Genius!

Yes this!

firstmummy2019 · 10/01/2023 06:43

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 10/01/2023 00:29

Buy the biggest size condoms you can find and leave the box and some wrappers in the top of the bin

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you devil @Carrieonmywaywardsun

Theonlywayisup1 · 10/01/2023 06:47

Straycatblue · 10/01/2023 00:34

Everytime he comes over have increasingly weird objects in your bin ... for example Jack in the boxes & airhorns that activate when the lid opened, toy skeletons , blow up dinosaurs , go wild! Make sure ring camera is recording his reactions then upload & make your millions on Tik tok 😁

...be totally deadpan if he asks about them, act like he's the weirdo & seeing things

Or get bin locks to frustrate him , if he asks why say it's to prevent rats getting in 😉

Omg please do this 🙏😂

AnyFucker · 10/01/2023 06:53

Thanks for the laugh on this miserable Tuesday morning

Crazypaving22 · 10/01/2023 06:57

Straycatblue · 10/01/2023 00:34

Everytime he comes over have increasingly weird objects in your bin ... for example Jack in the boxes & airhorns that activate when the lid opened, toy skeletons , blow up dinosaurs , go wild! Make sure ring camera is recording his reactions then upload & make your millions on Tik tok 😁

...be totally deadpan if he asks about them, act like he's the weirdo & seeing things

Or get bin locks to frustrate him , if he asks why say it's to prevent rats getting in 😉

Yes! This!

JangolinaPitt · 10/01/2023 06:57

Just love these ideas!! 🤣🤣🤣

Canabelievethis · 10/01/2023 07:14

Is he checking for empty alcohol bottles/ condoms etc in an attempt to paint you black re custody of your DC?

Agree with others, leave a message in bin telling him you can see him on doorbell.

HandlebarLadyTash · 10/01/2023 09:03

Hes a prick, can you move the bins? Or ask him wht he examines your rubbish.
As much as I love the giant condom ideas he's not worth the energy

KettrickenSmiled · 10/01/2023 09:39

OP, despite the suggestions upthread, I'm sure you're too smart to play mindgames with a dangerously controlling man.

Why not just ask him WTF he is doing, tampering with your bins, & whatever he responds with, tell him to stop doing it?

Greensleevevssnotnose · 10/01/2023 09:42

To be fair as he's been abusive on all levels I would do nothing to antagonise him. Maybe arrange pick up elsewhere if it bothers you

WhenDovesFly · 10/01/2023 09:43

I'd say nothing and quietly attach bin locks to the bins. He'll know you know, but won't be able to say anything without having to explain himself.

GreenManalishi · 10/01/2023 09:47

Too much drama? Says the man rootling through somebody elses rubbish bins. What a looper, ignore him.

Or, open the door and ask him if he wants to borrow your Marigolds.

Trethew · 10/01/2023 09:54

Many years ago my XH contacted me with “grave concerns” about our teenage son. He had looked in DS’s glove compartment and found a bottle of tomato ketchup and some candles and decided there had to be something sinister going on.

I told him the ketchup was so that they didn’t have to buy sachets when they were out, and the candles were for waxing skating surfaces. I often wish I had left him trying to work it out.

Igglepiggleslittletoe · 10/01/2023 09:54

I would go with bin locks too. I think he is looking for things like wine bottles or something to discredit you.

JauntyJinty · 10/01/2023 09:55

Straycatblue · 10/01/2023 00:34

Everytime he comes over have increasingly weird objects in your bin ... for example Jack in the boxes & airhorns that activate when the lid opened, toy skeletons , blow up dinosaurs , go wild! Make sure ring camera is recording his reactions then upload & make your millions on Tik tok 😁

...be totally deadpan if he asks about them, act like he's the weirdo & seeing things

Or get bin locks to frustrate him , if he asks why say it's to prevent rats getting in 😉

Might as well shut down Mumsnet for today, Straycatblue has won - nothing's going to top this!

Fragrantandfoolish · 10/01/2023 10:00

Ask him op. You’re allowed to challenge him. Ask him why he is doing it.

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