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Original poster

This is an odd one…

53 replies

Nonagainst · 10/01/2023 00:08

My dick head ex husband walked out about 9 months ago. He was having multiple affairs, abusing me financially, physically, emotionally and mentally. Anyway, thank goodness he walked out.

He started dating a ‘new’ woman 2 weeks after he walked and I found out. At the time I was still in complete shock over him walking out and was an absolute mess. When I found out I called him and basically asked him what the f**k was going on! Here I am dying inside and he’s off dating another woman! Upon me bawling my eyes out to him he said he’d end it as it was ‘too much drama for him’.

To the present day. I’m like 99% sure he’s still with the woman (I don’t care) as he’s alluded to it multiple times etc.

This is where it gets weird. We have a child together. He sees our kid every two weeks and upon every collection my ex looks in my bins (not a euphemism). I see him on my front door camera which he knows is there but yet every time, he’s looking in my bins, deposes of nothing but just opens them, looks in and shuts them. At first I thought it was a bit funny but now I’m like ??????

I suspect he’s trying to see if I’m dating someone so that we can announce his woman on social media (that’s how I found out about her, two weeks after he left he was sending her love heart and loving messages all over her profiles online and lovely Instagram recommended her profile to me haha)

Am I missing something?! Why on Earth is he looking in my bloody bins!!!! At first I didn’t care but it’s happening every time now and I feel a bit weirded by it.

OP posts:
breakingpoint289 · 10/01/2023 10:13

Straycatblue · 10/01/2023 00:34

Everytime he comes over have increasingly weird objects in your bin ... for example Jack in the boxes & airhorns that activate when the lid opened, toy skeletons , blow up dinosaurs , go wild! Make sure ring camera is recording his reactions then upload & make your millions on Tik tok 😁

...be totally deadpan if he asks about them, act like he's the weirdo & seeing things

Or get bin locks to frustrate him , if he asks why say it's to prevent rats getting in 😉

Best reply! I would delight in doing this

Original poster
Nonagainst · 10/01/2023 11:48

Haha honestly! Thank you for all your replies AND your incredible ideas! The fog horn one really did tempt me I very nearly even Youtubed how to do it haha

As a few people have mentioned, unfortunately he has been super abusive in the past and this is now just another thing he’s doing to unsettle me and as one poster suggested, probably discredit me as a parent or god knows what else!

I wasn’t going to spend anymore money on bin locks but I have baby safety latches that I think I’ll attach to the bins to make it obvious that I know what’s going on.

I think I’m going to ask him why he’s doing it and if there’s anything I can help him find and basically to stop doing it. It’s weird and totally unnecessary.

It does really unsettle me and makes me feel like anything could be taken out of context! He’s also been looking in my mums car when she’s parked on my driveway (I suspect he doesn’t remember what her car looks like and thinks I’d be stupid enough to let a new fella park his car on my drive).

But honestly thank you all for the laughs! I can’t imagine what he thinks is going to be in there (maybe he does think I’ll have a large stash of used condoms in there just waiting for his peeking eyes!)

These bloody men!

OP posts:
Palmfrond · 10/01/2023 13:44

HandlebarLadyTash · 10/01/2023 09:03

Hes a prick, can you move the bins? Or ask him wht he examines your rubbish.
As much as I love the giant condom ideas he's not worth the energy

This.

He sounds like a cunt, he’s up to no good going through your bins. At most ask him to not bother as he’ll find nothing of interest.

Overandunderit · 10/01/2023 13:54

Can you change where he picks your DC from? make it somewhere more neutral and not your home?

Alici · 10/01/2023 15:19

my ex looks in my bins (not a euphemism). this made me laugh.

take a photo of yourself pulling a funny face (im thinking ricky gervais bath face), print it out and put it on top of your rubbish in your bin for when he opens it. then just dont say anything.

This is an odd one…
pinneddownbytabbies · 10/01/2023 15:20

Whatever you do, never leave any old bills, documents, receipts or any other kind of paperwork in there. That's usually what dodgy types are looking for in people's bins.

AtomicBlondeRose · 10/01/2023 15:22

We once got a box of biscuits that played We Wish You a Merry Christmas when you opened the lid. We took out the small speaker and put it inside a very rarely-used drawer - everyone forgets it’s there so it’s funny as hell when it plays and makes everyone jump. Don’t suppose you have something like that you could put in your bin?

Original poster
Nonagainst · 10/01/2023 15:25

Alici · 10/01/2023 15:19

my ex looks in my bins (not a euphemism). this made me laugh.

take a photo of yourself pulling a funny face (im thinking ricky gervais bath face), print it out and put it on top of your rubbish in your bin for when he opens it. then just dont say anything.

HAHA! Oh my god, I think he’d have a heart attack if I posed like this…maybe this is a good idea after all haha

OP posts:
Original poster
Nonagainst · 10/01/2023 15:26

pinneddownbytabbies · 10/01/2023 15:20

Whatever you do, never leave any old bills, documents, receipts or any other kind of paperwork in there. That's usually what dodgy types are looking for in people's bins.

Good plan! Most of the bins are full of my kids nappies and cat poo haha So why on Earth he’s like to have a nose is weird. But you’re right about the receipts and bills. Not even my bins are safe anymore!

OP posts:
Original poster
Nonagainst · 10/01/2023 15:27

Overandunderit · 10/01/2023 13:54

Can you change where he picks your DC from? make it somewhere more neutral and not your home?

I would like to and maybe I’ll have to because it’s becoming such a weird occurrence for me. Such a bloody faff all because he’s being a weirdo again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nonagainst · 10/01/2023 15:28

I’m trying to sum up the courage to send an email I’ve written and I’m bloody terrified (we’re not actually divorced yet, the silly git is dragging his heels so I’m worried about the repercussions of me asking him - which should just say it all! I’m the worried one and done nothing wrong!)

OP posts:
TurtleTriplets · 10/01/2023 15:31

Stick a mirror to the lid so when he lifts it he sees his reflection. Trash belongs in the bin after all.

Yeahrightthen · 10/01/2023 15:31

Sorry to be boring but could he have made an Amazon order or something to your house and be looking to see if it’s been delivered? They sometimes leave deliveries in wheelie bins if there’s no enclosed front garden/porch?

If that’s unlikely then definitely go with the gigantic condom - and a tube of (empty) lube!!

growinggreyer · 10/01/2023 15:33

Don't ask him if it will cause troubles, just keep your bin empty of anything incriminating. You know why he is doing it - because he can. He won't stop and he will know it is annoying you.

Pinkbonbon · 10/01/2023 15:37

I would film it and put it on social media.

And be like 'no, ex partner dave, judging by the contents of my bin, which I've noticed you check every time you drop off the kids, I am still single. You creepy fucker'.

Seriously, out him for this shit.
More people thar know that the better. Might deter him if he's up to something else.

Pinkbonbon · 10/01/2023 15:47

TurtleTriplets · 10/01/2023 15:31

Stick a mirror to the lid so when he lifts it he sees his reflection. Trash belongs in the bin after all.

Don't answer thr phone to him, make sure he has to send the response in writing. That way if he admits to anything, you have written proof. If he continues you can go to the police about it as its stalking behaviour. If he sends abuse, thats harassment, and again, police.

thisplaceisweird · 10/01/2023 15:48

Hide inside and jump out?

Give him a tupperware full of food when he next comes round 'i thought you might be hungry as youve been rummaging through the bins'

Genuinely though just catch him in the act and ask 'why do you always do that?'

Pinkbonbon · 10/01/2023 15:50

Ps: it looks like he I'd looking for any opportunity to damage your reputation or claim you were cheating and that's why HE left you.

So I'd absolutely let the people you love know about his behaviour and that he had a new gf 2 weeks after he left. Anyone who doesn't take your side or fence sits, remove them from your life.

LittleBlueBrioTrain · 10/01/2023 15:54

I'd be getting someone to hide in there to scare the bejesus out of him

Original poster
Nonagainst · 10/01/2023 15:59

TurtleTriplets · 10/01/2023 15:31

Stick a mirror to the lid so when he lifts it he sees his reflection. Trash belongs in the bin after all.

Hahaha trash belongs in the trash got me!

OP posts:
Original poster
Nonagainst · 10/01/2023 16:00

Yeahrightthen · 10/01/2023 15:31

Sorry to be boring but could he have made an Amazon order or something to your house and be looking to see if it’s been delivered? They sometimes leave deliveries in wheelie bins if there’s no enclosed front garden/porch?

If that’s unlikely then definitely go with the gigantic condom - and a tube of (empty) lube!!

He has all his mail forwarded and his Amazon account was changed to his new address when he moved out. He’s had many things delivered here in the beginning when he left but I told him to stop that and if there has been the one odd thing, he’s always let me know that it’s coming. Empty lube bottle hahaah

OP posts:
Original poster
Nonagainst · 10/01/2023 16:01

growinggreyer · 10/01/2023 15:33

Don't ask him if it will cause troubles, just keep your bin empty of anything incriminating. You know why he is doing it - because he can. He won't stop and he will know it is annoying you.

We have mediation coming up and I think I’ll save it for after that haha or use it against him if he says anything ridiculous against me!

OP posts:
Original poster
Nonagainst · 10/01/2023 16:03

Pinkbonbon · 10/01/2023 15:47

Don't answer thr phone to him, make sure he has to send the response in writing. That way if he admits to anything, you have written proof. If he continues you can go to the police about it as its stalking behaviour. If he sends abuse, thats harassment, and again, police.

Show quote history

This! Yeah! He’s not allowed to call me any more because he was getting too aggressive on the phone and I wanted everything in writing because you know, he lies a lot. So any response I do send (if I do) will have to go into an email!

OP posts:
growinggreyer · 10/01/2023 16:05

Good plan, just vent on here. He is ridiculous.

BreatheAndFocus · 10/01/2023 16:28

Lock them and say nothing is the best idea. Don’t get drawn into his games. He sounds horrible.