What do you actually have in common with your partner?

[Angeldelight81]

I’m new to dating at the moment, and whenever they describe their interests to me I couldn’t be less interested if I tried. Just as an example, one guy likes riding his motorbike, visiting the pub with his friends, watching Lord of the Ring type movies and you know when you just think what female on this planet does that ?

Do other women just nod and agree with it so that these guys will go out with them ?

another described all of his free time as being taken up with his daughters, which is great yeah good, but he can’t seriously think that something that’s of interest to me ? Or any other non related women.

We share a very similar sense of humour.

We agree on enough things to make us compatible and disagree on enough things to make conversations interesting.

We share the same goals.

Music

Ahhhh thats a good one.

sense of humour is quite hard to convey online.
but actually, I think if you can have a laugh together that is half the battle

I think it’s about values sometimes rather than just hobbies. So same attitudes to family/kids, socialising, money, politics.

Having said that you need to have things you enjoy doing together such as visiting new places, going for a meal together even if you still have individual hobbies.

Religion, politics and views on money. Vital I think to a long term harmonious existence. He cycles miles and miles, I do not. He is a classical cellist, I am not. He likes model railways, I do not (honestly he’s lovely - I know I have made him sound like the biggest geek on earth). I like reading, running and walking, he does not. We both enjoy holidays, similar comedy and each other’s companies. We have been married 19 years and have two DC if it makes a difference.

Hobbies are not vital, the basics are.

Posted too soon.
Neither of us give a shit about sports.

He only watches the news. I love sci fi. We both love yes minister and yes prime minister.
I love reading, he finds it boring. I'm a craft addict, his passion has always been flying (fixed wing aircraft)
We both love quiet holiday places. Neither of us are chatty people (when sober).
He loves socialising. Other people are my idea of hell. 😁

It's a real mixed bag and tbh I think that's the best way. Not total opposites but not matching jumpers Howard and Hilda.

Basically nothing
one thing maybe
but we just have a similar outlook on life

We have a lot of interests in common (music/fils/mythology/camping) and never run out of things to do or talk about.
If anything it is lack of time to do all things we want to.

Well, we have interests in common, things like board games, theme parks, certain book series etc. But tbh more than interests it is just our general outlook on life. Shared goals, same morals, political views, parenting styles, sense of humor, we just align very well. Not that we agree 100% on everything, but probably 95% of the time we do. These things seem to be the key for me.

Values and a 50:50 share in the same kids. Different religions, races, nationalities, family background, jobs, hobbies… seems to work.

In answer to your question, OP, I always thought that the woman’s function was not to share and participate in all of the man’s interests but to listen to him banging on about his interests at great length and join in with some of them, every now and again.

They seem to appreciate it, poor things. They are just big kids, but you probably know that already.

I’m afraid that they will expect you to be as interested in their children as they are themselves. You have to let them down gently.

The best advice is to find somebody on your intellectual wavelength. You can’t easily tell that from dating app profiles but you might be able to work it out be exchanging a few messages!

I mean, I’m never gonna have joint children with this person so that’s pretty irrelevant and I have absolutely no intention of having any input with any children they might have or allowing vice versa so I figured that really we do need some sort of hobbies or music or movies in common. I mean a side of that I like eating, but that’s probably the only common denominator I have with every other human on the planet.

We had similar views on things but not the same hobbies (he’s into fishing and diy and cycling )

but we have similar interests in house stuff (up cycling furniture together and we like camping and when we started dating European city breaks )

we haven’t tonnes in common but same taste in tv so each evening we watch something and we chat a lot

@Iamthewombat so far, I’ve met really bloody boring people that attempting to have a conversation with has been like pulling teeth. They literally don’t do anything other than blokey stuff and I’m like you can’t seriously think I want to do that as well with you.

The Art of chatting women up is definitely dying out. I can confirm

Our sense of humour. Horror films. Music. Travel. Art. Political opinions, life goals, general outlook. I wouldn’t date someone I had absolutely nothing in common with. You don’t have to match on every single point but work out what your non-negotiables are and go from there.

I’ve been on a few dates with someone I used to work with recently. So helps we have that in common. I’m not sure what else we have in common apart from kids but I’m looking forward to finding out!

You sound like a laugh, OP. Best of luck, there are some decent ones out there!

We both like going for walks to explore places and stopping at cafes/pubs along the way!

Also into similar music/films/comedy. And like cooking together, trying out new dishes

We both think I’m ace

Sense of humour, similar outlook/values. We do like the same music (or at least there is a large crossover), and like swimming and running but haven’t been able to do those things together since having DS. We also both love opera and dance, though we haven’t had a chance to see anything since lockdown.

I just like chatting to him, and hanging out together. He isn’t perfect and neither am I, and our personalities are very different (I am a tigger, he is an eeyore).

Join lots of groups related to your hobbies. That way you will meet people you know you have a shared interest with and perhaps meet someone you like.

My DH is a musician who likes sci-fi and action stuff which I'm not into; I like running and crafts that don't really interest him.

We can always find things to watch or do together though, and just indulge our separate hobbies separately.

We have the same sense of humour and same values though. We also both love to travel.

Sense of humour and liking similar music. I'm not big on music tbh but the ones I liked he liked. And quoting lines from comedy shows. Still doing that 15 years later

We have lots in common but not hobbies, film genres or books but proper important things and we've been together since we were 18. A lot of our commonalities have grown with us over the last 23 years.