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Original poster

What do you actually have in common with your partner?

123 replies

Angeldelight81 · 26/12/2022 22:19

I’m new to dating at the moment, and whenever they describe their interests to me I couldn’t be less interested if I tried. Just as an example, one guy likes riding his motorbike, visiting the pub with his friends, watching Lord of the Ring type movies and you know when you just think what female on this planet does that ?

Do other women just nod and agree with it so that these guys will go out with them ?

another described all of his free time as being taken up with his daughters, which is great yeah good, but he can’t seriously think that something that’s of interest to me ? Or any other non related women.

OP posts:
Iamthewombat · 26/12/2022 23:04

CockSpadget · 26/12/2022 22:58

Maybe we are just answering the question OP posed about what kind of female has those interests.

Show quote history

No, her question was about how much you need to have in common with men to forge a successful relationship.

In her first paragraph she says:

Just as an example, one guy likes riding his motorbike, visiting the pub with his friends, watching Lord of the Ring type movies and you know when you just think what female on this planet does that?

but it’s obvious that she’s joking about the ‘what female on the planet’ bit. Although maybe it’s not obvious to anyone determined to miss the point of the thread and bang on about themselves, rather like the men the OP is meeting, in fact!

Original poster
Angeldelight81 · 26/12/2022 23:13

I just feel those hobbies are with the boys type hobbies or limited audience rather than a typical female. But I equally concede im probably over thinking it. Hes hust sealed his doom by declaring shawn of the dead is his favourite comedy. And for that reason im out 😆 🔫

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · 26/12/2022 23:13

We always say we’re the same person but different versions. We have no interests in common but the same outlooks and sense of humour. We’re both complete adhd nightmares at life, we were both kids trying to do our best but always finding ourselves on the “naughty table” so we get each other. We were also born within the same year and in the same town so have a lot of similar history like who we knew and what Tv shows we grew up on.

My DPs interests are boring to me and mine to him. I would never have chosen him from a list of them 😆Look for a man that feels on your wavelength.

mamaduckbone · 26/12/2022 23:15

Music
Good food
Walking
Films
Design / art
Rugby
Lots of things...but I'm not a very girly person and he's not very blokey. Watching lord of the rings films and going to the pub with mates would appeal to me! I know plenty of couples who don't have a lot of actual interests in common but I'm not sure how that works in a new relationship.

Original poster
Angeldelight81 · 26/12/2022 23:16

Perhaps i just need to find someone i like the look of and go from there, seems theres worst things to base a relationship on

OP posts:
Lastqueenofscotland2 · 26/12/2022 23:20

Hobbies - outdoorsy stuff mostly
Different taste in music/films/tv but enjoy galleries and museums.
Similar political views and general life outlook

Zipps · 26/12/2022 23:20

Loads

Same sense of humour and values.
Similar personalities. We are only really different on two things. I've never understand why opposites attract, not for me.
We like/ dislike almost all the same things.
We have a similar attitude to money.
We both love holidays but for different reasons.
We just rub along so well, nothing is forced or fake, arguments are practically non existent.

Benjispruce4 · 26/12/2022 23:24

Humour
Music
Similar age so a shared history/ nostalgia.

Benjispruce4 · 26/12/2022 23:26

@Angeldelight81 We got together because we fancied each other, we stayed togetherness because of what we discovered about each other.

My2pence2day · 26/12/2022 23:26

I think its important to have the same interests (eg similar type of movies, music etc so you have some things in common), but not necessarily the same hobbies. I think it can potentially be an issue further down the track if you end up living separate lives because you don't have anything in common that interests you. I think the biggest thing is a huge introvert with an extrovert where one likes being very social and the other is a homebody

CockSpadget · 26/12/2022 23:27

@Iamthewombat I would hardly class one sentence as “banging on”, but hey ho, different strokes an’ all that.
OP I’d defo go with who you like the look of to start with, most relationships start with physical attraction, wether it’s OLD or not. Thank chuff you found out about the Sean of the dead thing early doors though 😂

SwordToFlamethrower · 26/12/2022 23:31

My husband and I met through our mutual love of Ghostbusters and both cosplay them. We discovered we had loads more in common too, including values.

I introduced my DH to D&D, including the old 80s storybooks. Also got him into clubbing. He got me into his love of trashy old scifi films and first person shooters. We both love dancing and art and crafts and board games.

So yeah! Loads in common.

Athrawes · 26/12/2022 23:31

Sometimes dating someone is an opportunity to explore new interests and ideas. For both of you.
You might find you like the person and are willing to give fell walking/road biking/battle reinactment a go, and find you like it. He might discover that whilst he didn't want to knit, using a loom is quite cool and that sci fi movies are in fact more cerebral than he had thought.
You might not last forever but may be left with a love of road biking.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 27/12/2022 00:05

Lifestyle, politics, humour, values and priorities all matter more than particular hobbies. It's good if you have something you both like to do together. But the conversation has to start somewhere with people you don't know and I think OLD isn't great for where to kick things off in that way.
DH and I don't enjoy the same telly or hobbies, but the foundations of life we agree on and there are things we like to do together but those probably wouldn't have been obvious on first meeting.

Darhon · 27/12/2022 06:33

Angeldelight81 · 26/12/2022 22:19

I’m new to dating at the moment, and whenever they describe their interests to me I couldn’t be less interested if I tried. Just as an example, one guy likes riding his motorbike, visiting the pub with his friends, watching Lord of the Ring type movies and you know when you just think what female on this planet does that ?

Do other women just nod and agree with it so that these guys will go out with them ?

another described all of his free time as being taken up with his daughters, which is great yeah good, but he can’t seriously think that something that’s of interest to me ? Or any other non related women.

I know quite a few women who would be happy doing those things. But agree with the broader point that it’s sometimes about attitudes, values and humour than matching hobbies etc. though I’d struggle if someone was into very active, adventurous hobbies and wanted me to participate.

C1N1C · 27/12/2022 06:41

Not wanting kids, having the travel bug and being ambitious enough to pretty much be able to do what we want.

daisychain01 · 27/12/2022 06:49

Angeldelight81 · 26/12/2022 22:58

Maybe I’m overthinking this, but then how the hell am I meant to have a conversation with them ?

I just read back through the conversation with the last poor chap. And literally, he asked me what I was doing this evening, and that’s the last question that he put to me. 😳

If you've only read 20-30 profiles (I'm giving a higher number than you've mentioned) you do realise this is just a tiny tiny microcosm. So just keep reading - and don't just look at the LOTR, pubs and motorbikes, look at how they compose their profile.

I read what felt like a billion LOTR, pubs and motorbikes type hobby lists until I spotted my DHs profile talking about travel and looking across the horizon. He'd made a bit of an effort. That was what got us talking. Look at how much thought they put into saying who they are. If they can't even be arsed and don't have the tiniest bit of imagination, they're going to be pretty dead from the neck up Grin

the thing about the horizon wasn't complete bollox by the way, his main interest at that time was skydiving 😂

ClarathecrosseyedLioness · 27/12/2022 06:57

Politics, religion, work ethic, current affairs, self-respect & respect for each other.

IMO you need some basics - all the rest is window-dressing you can work around.

catsnthat · 27/12/2022 07:12

Similar sense of humour, enjoy some of the same tv programs, overlapping music tastes, we both like traveling, walking, eating out.

Echobelly · 27/12/2022 07:16

Humour (mostly)
Sci fi
Religion and approach to it
Leftie politics

Not really music, which is kind of surprising - I never thought I'd end up with someone who wasn't also a massive music fan, but that's what happened. We like some of the same stuff but music is all kind of 'background' to him.

Folkishgal · 27/12/2022 07:23

The things my husband and I like doing together, is going on walks (especially to find a pub) playing video games, listening to podcasts and watching sci-fi/fantasy shows. But we do a lot of things separately too, he codes for his job and a hobby, (before DC) he long-boarded/swam/ran/MA which are all things I am absoloutley not interested in, just like he isn't interested in my hobbies of baking/drawing/decorating.

Like PP said, the main compatibly is outlooks on life, morals, political views, what you want for your kids etc...and if they treat you well.

AWaferThinMint · 27/12/2022 07:46

We watch TV to whether, walk the dog together, renovate our house together, take the kids out together.

We always try to eat together where we can.

We just get on. He's lovely, and I love him, and I'd like to think he feels the same back

LT2 · 27/12/2022 07:48

We have completely differing interests for hobbies but we have in common: introverts, love food, love animals. We differ in the sorts of films we like (although one or 2 genres we share an interest of), our hobbies. One loves to be tidy, the other couldn't care less. I don't think you need to be exactly alike to work, but obviously need some similarities! We've been together 12 years.

yourjustnotfunny · 27/12/2022 08:09

We both love our jobs.We enjoy laughing at each other, she's nuts,I trip over,bang my head on things alot,mix up my words.We both like long walks especially with nice views.Both veggies.Both like trips on my motorbike. We love trips, meals with family.Meals out with friends. We're both a bit boring really

Oopsiedaisyy · 27/12/2022 08:43

We met on tinder, i had referenced a video game we both play. Also both into travel, sci fi, fantasy, EDM and trance (never thought I'd be going to raves in my late 40s!) and he's getting me into football. We just click.

And yes, to the poster who asked above, similarly high sex drives 😁