Boyfriend bought me sexy underwear

[kellid]

So my boyfriend of 5 years gave me a cheap love honey Lacey body for Christmas and I'm a bit upset. It wasn't the only thing he got me, but my face lit up when he said that he had an extra gift for me, once the kids were upstairs...

I feel cheap and disrespected 😢

AIBU?

I have about £3ks worth of AP underwear just sitting in a drawer 😂 I occasionally pop them on for about five minutes before sex but they're waaaay to effing uncomfortable for anything else. Seems a waste!

Wow. Could your standards be any lower?

I wouldn’t like it with either. He probably meant well, but my partner knows I’d hate that as a gift. Just tell him the truth.

Men and women are different, with different bodies! So it doesn’t need to be the same both ways, although some women do buy sexy underware for men. A lot of people would see it as a present for ‘them’, this OP clearly doesn’t but that doesn’t mean he’s disrespectful.

I didn't know this was a terrible thing to do. But you're entitled not to like it. The whole your face lit up thing is a bit... odd.

@kellid I'm intrigue with your perspectives, I can understand if it's cheap,but why did you come to the other conclusions ?

I bought my oh sexy pjs this year and in the past silly Anne Summers costumes. It's fun to play dress up now and then. Nothing sinister

Do you use any for modelling ect ?

Yeah but that's not the man's fault. Who is stopping women buying their men clothes for them to look sexy in???
I sure buy clothes for my man that I know he'll look good in. Because I find him bloody sexy AF.

At least he bloody fancies you !!

So many women in here would live that their men did that ...

I'd tell him to wear it first

I'd be fine with this if it was decent stuff that fit me, looked gorgeous and felt good quality. I'd be miffed if I got a Lovehoney body stocking...shows the guy has no class or taste.

I have plenty of body stockings but it's not good enough as Christmas present imo.

However I wouldn't throw him under the bus for it, unless there is a massive backstory...I'd gently nudge him in the direction of better underwear websites and give him sizing instructions.

It's nice to have a few bits of sexy stuff in the drawer.... I don't get dressed up 'for him' I put it on because it makes me feel sexy and looks good under dresses etc.

At least he fancies her? Ffs get some self respect.

I guess it's been a long hard day and I'm probably being a bit petty. Perhaps 'disrecpted' isn't the right word here. I seen it as a present for him, not me.

Thank you for the comments and offering a different perspective.

You're a dude aren't you?

@oddwellingtonboots that's probably it as well.... it was a cheap one size body stocking type one

I would be very flattered and probably quite turned on but there is obviously more going on in your relationship to make you feel the way you do so on balance YANBU, but you need to do some thinking about what the real problem is.

It's the thought that counts! Tell him thanks but those aren't quite your style and size, and ask for the gift receipt to exchange them for some comfy beige cotton briefs.

I'd feel the same way that you did OP. Like it's a gift for him, and comes with pressure to wear it whether you want to or not. Don't feel you have to answer this here, but I wondered if you've worn anything like it for sex in the past, as if so I could maybe give him the benefit of the doubt. But yeah, I wouldn't like this. Someone I was dating bought me some hideous lacy underwear years ago, it really gave me the ick and I couldn't see them the same way after that.

DH bought me sexy underwear as one of my presents. No offence taken and now we have something extra to look forward after Christmas.

I've often bought him pants I want him to wear to bed.

Underwear gifts always end up being for both parties. Not a selfish gift at all in our house and no disrespect is ever meant. All very much from a place of love.

Nobody I know would be offended by this, no. Especially if with other gifts! But I suppose it depends on your own personal relationship - if he knows you find sexy underwear degrading (I can see an argument for it, even if I don't feel that way myself), he shouldn't have bought it.

I love Dear Scantily stuff - I'd be really happy if my DP had chosen something from there in the right size...but he'd never know to find that site if I didn't tell him about it.

Lovehoney ain't great but he could be forgiven as it's the most mainstream/comes up top of google search etc

If wearing sexy stuff gives u the ick definitely chat to him about this so you don't get more stuff in the future. If it doesn't it's just he's chosen poorly then just nudge him in the right direction xx

You've got your own answer here, it made you feel cheap and disrespected.

Other people might have relationships where this works for them, the only thing that matters if it works for you, and it doesn't.

Assuming that means they're into modelling is odd enough.... what's the etc you're referring to?

When I was younger, <old gimmer alert> my dh sometimes bought me 'sexy outfits', if I liked them great, if I didn't I just never wore them. He bought me one of those body stocking type things, that went straight to the bin back of the wardrobe. I bought him silk boxers and a couple of thongs and he was very happy to wear them. If you don't like what he bought just say so, and don't wear it.