Dating Thread 237 - Wintertide Warmth Support & Festive Frolics and

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Merry Christmas one and all. Thanks for all the support and dating wisdoms...

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Quick sex related Q for the women of the mothership here please:

I'm discovering I'm not a big fan of being caressed awake in the morning for sex. That's ok and normal right. I'm going to have to give MrCars some feedback on this as it's happened twice now when I'm fast asleep/slightly hungover.
Have never been a morning person or a morning sex person but to be woken with an enthusiastic erection prodding at me feels a teeny bit non consensual and sex pesty.

Annoyingly on both occasions the rubbings have resulted in me being turned on and some fruity morning sessions so I'm a bit mixed.

I think my feedback will be for the touching to start once I'm awake and not before.

I'm not being a prudey spoilsport am
I?

Oncey…I love the early morning ones with MrEx. I can fall asleep right after and enjoy the morning snooze. To be honest I am always happy to have sexy man next to me.

Thanks @Mila14 I'm discovering I like that too. It's very special nodding back to sleep entwined but it's the being woken up for it that I'm uncertain of. Is that ok. I feel a bit mauled and definitely annoyed that my sleep is broken. I'll say something.

My rebound did that most mornings. I found it as irritating as hell. But mainly because he had usually drunk too much the night before to be able to perform 🙄 he then rejected me in the evening, so I felt like all of it was on his terms if you see what I mean?

Also I love my sleep 😴 but if it was a mixture of night and morning and was good quality I don't think I'd have minded.

Night and morning and good quality…YES Deffy!

I think it's fine to have whatever boundaries you want. I'm a fan of a morning quickie and have explained that to current squeeze and told him to wake me up if he wants. He never does ! Maybe we should swap!

Hmmmm I might keep it under review for a while longer then if it's not clear cut as don't want to be labelled easily annoyed. Or prudey.

Or maybe I'll be in charge of my own likes/dislikes (I'm pretty confident he hasn't labelled me as a prude...) and let him know what I find a turn on/turn off.

Thanks,it was nothing really, but NoShow called me in a panic with no heating or hot water so I couldn’t leave her like that, fortunately was a dead easy to resolve

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss think it’s a good idea to say, and then he knows to alter his behaviour. If you ask him to stop doing it and he carries on that will be a red flag!

Mr Beard has told me I can wake him up in a sexy manner if I like, but he usually seems to wake up first! He knows I usually like to get my morning coffee before starting anything. I wouldn’t appreciate being woken up like that either.

Thanks @Stayingstrongish I'm pretty sure all men have this as a fantastic way to be woken so may not have any clue that I or other women are any different. I will say something.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss I think you’re right, many of my exes made a point of saying to me they were happy to be woken up at any time for sex 😂But I was always too busy snoozing 😆

Just to add my 10 pence to the sex chat, personally I don’t like night sex, I’m usually too tired and due to age / declining T levels it’s a bit of a struggle.
But as T levers are refreshed, morning ( and afternoons), are the best ( for me).

NoShow has previously told me that she doesn’t like getting in or out of bed without having sex, which on the face of it sounds good, but I can sometimes struggle to get / maintain a decent erection at night, especially after a few drinks

so I would certainly take for sexy times in the morning over night time fun.

Woah. Go NoShow! That's a bold mission statement there not wanting to get in or out of bed without sex but would you wake her up for it @NoDatingForOldMen would she be ok with that or better than ok has a preference for being awoken by being told 'it's sex time' with your rummagings?

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss
It is indeed, a mission statement that I cannot always fulfill.
as to your question, the answer is that she has previously said that would be okay, however in practice NoShow is quite a snorer so we don’t actually have many full overnights and she is the early riser ( no pun) not me, so in practice it doesn’t actually happen.

@NoDatingForOldMen Mr Beard finds similar with the time of day, so you are not alone. It doesn’t make much difference to me as a woman. Would NoShow perhaps be satisfied with alternatives to full sex which you could help her with…

@Stayingstrongish yes, I think its actually quite common in us slightly older men, (50 +), testosterone levels are built up during REM sleep then get depleted during the day , so sometimes by 10pm I’ve absolutely had it so the thought of sex is the last thing on my mind, and sometimes, yes I have let my fingers do the work.

I’m also aware that it doesn’t really affect women in the same way, I have read on this wider forum that some women think older men are not interested in sex anymore, personally I think that more likely to mean they are not really interested in nighttime sex , but I could well be wrong..

@NoDatingForOldMen yay! Glad you had a nice time with NoShow!

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a preference or just asking for a few tweaks. I like morning sex but MrF always waits for me to start things off. I don’t know if I’d like to be woken up just for sex however Ex was always groping me so that might colour my view

MrF and I had a sleepover last night, my mum was a superstar and offered to have DC. My neighbour met him as we were leaving and has given her seal of approval! She said she thought he was amazing and that if I didn’t want to keep him then she would 😂

Lucky lady… enjoy a lot and so happy for you. You are really smitten and on falling in love 🥰

OLDstolemybrain

your mom is a dating support hero !!!
so pleased it’s going well

especially at Xmas
your a unicorn !

Awwww @OLDstolemybrain that's great!

Well I've returned to Match. There's a few on there I like and one lightning bolt - on paper.

But I'm definitely not settling for less any more. I'm going to know my own worth and if something feels wrong then it probably is.

I've also deleted any real life contacts from dating sites from my phone. They didn't work for a reason and I am not going to be there when they need a quick tug.

@NoDatingForOldMen that's so interesting about men and sex. STBXH was constantly up for it. All the bloody time. And this was when he was leading a double life with someone else too. Maybe he was taking something. My body rejected him way before my conscious self did.

Omg I'm in a bar with beard one and beard two has just walked in I told beard 2 I was staying in the warm at home tonight. I don't know if he's seen me. I'm 60 ffs, this should not be happening! Wtf do I say?
Beard one is in the queue in front of beard 2.

I’ve been scared to say it before but I think I am starting to fall in love with him 🫢

For fucks sake woman. That is real shit. Just say you decided to get out last minute. This is a major shit. Beard 1 might just get salty but you are not exclusive and he might be dating other people too. So be fucking NATURAL about it and don’t look GUILTY

Totally beautiful. I can tell …😝🥰

@Mxflamingnoravera god that’s unlucky! Maybe say beard one is going through a hard time and needed a last minute chat to cheer him up? Does that count as a white lie?!