Dating Thread 237 - Wintertide Warmth Support & Festive Frolics and

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Merry Christmas one and all. Thanks for all the support and dating wisdoms...

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Uh oh.. met someone. And goodness, it’s gone off like a bang. He’s actually nice but I’m terrified. He seems equally smitten but equally anxious. So meeting for date 4 (in a grand total of two weeks) again tomorrow. Dinner at his (which is fine as already jumped in the sack yesterday 🤦‍♀️) Why do I put myself through this…argh. We just stared at each other yesterday and said ‘well.. that was all a bit slutty..’ 😂

.. and there I was before Mr Hockey going ‘oh yes, I’m going to hold all my boundaries and be cool calm and measured..’ and it never bloody goes that way does it.. chemistry is a total bastard sometimes

That’s really bad luck, if you not exclusive with or sleeping with either beard then that’s probably okay, but you are on sticky ground with Beard 2 and the stay at home story.

if I was beard 2 and I saw someone I was dating out with another guy, ( even if we were not exclusive), I don’t think I would be too impressed TBH.

Mxflamingnoravera

is it any consolation you are my total hero for being in this two beards situation at 60 ?

no probably not 😂

good luck !!!!

I’ve just had an evening with Balkan and a long chat about our HUGE pre Xmas row

it was as always lovely to see him and he did
my hair
I do have a few more issues that need discussing but for now
I’m happy

fuck I’m glad Xmas is over

Whenwillitend76

I guess at this stage all we are scared of is loss and rejection ?
I don’t know what we get so scared of
totally get the vulnerability x

Best thing ever 😂😂😂

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas ❤️

@NellyTheCake I'm so sorry to hear that. I went though the same thing with my ex, it's so horrible when it happens like that ❤️ look after yourself 💋

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers Thank you!

@Mxflamingnoravera I hope your date went well and you managed to avoid being seen by beard 2.
I don't think there is anything wrong with chatting to & meeting different people initially. Just a bit awkward in this instance.

Btw, what sites are you on? I'm mid 50s and would love to find some beardy men for a date or two.

A friend of mine is 67 and gets some decent quality men including a very fit one now of 60 😁 Shevprefers Bumbke but the new guy was on PoF

Sounds fab!

but totally get the vulnerability. That part of our brain that wants to protect us from rejection/pain etc but enjoy all the sluttiness! 😂

Yes and thank Jupiter that Xmas is now over.

Am so grateful for this site sustaining me this week v through some unpleasantness with STBXH regarding our divorce (nisi through but big issues emerging r money) difficulties with kids and uncertainty re Mr Serb and especially grateful to @Mila14
who is convincing me that I am love with b him and encouraging me to keep the faith 😁
Having decided on Xmas day to dispense with Serb he sent me a lovely message and then did some very practical things to help me out. I lost it a bit again on Wednesday after an emotional day but he persisted and we had a fantastic quiet evening in on Thursday which we very rarely do-usually socialising in pubs etc, and have plans for NYE with a hobby event this afternoon and two parties with separate groups of mutual friends so from the outside looks idyllic and I know my single friends must think I am jammy but both and I are so ridiculously insecure that it is a miracle we are managing to bumble through.

Glad things are getting back on track somewhat

JangolinaPitt that's interesting. I've avoided spending too much time on pof in the past because it has a bad reputation. I'll maybe try it again in the new year.
Mr Mind Games was my one and only date I ever got from Bumble after using it on and off for around 7yrs. I thought I'd struck gold with him. But he had other ideas.

Chemistry is THE THING…it means you find him so hot you can’t keep knickers in place. Brilliant way to start the new year. Enjoy a lot

I’m sure he did more than your hair 😈… this is the thing…you are getting to chat and communicate. It doesn’t mean there will be no fiery rows but it feels FINE

Very happy for you Jangolina …enjoy your time with Mr Serb and accept that you are this lucky. We are all bumbling around in our relationships even though we are in love. It’s life! keep your calm with STBXH. Money should not be an issue at this stage though. Get advise!

@Mila14 yes.. that was rather the situation 😂

Update, I'm not sleeping with either of the bearded ones. Beard 2 has texted this morning to say the film he was out to see was very good, (the bar is in an arts centre), no mention of having seen me. I just kept my head down and hoped he had not see me. He was with a woman and I thought he'd said he was going to the cinema with his son. It hadn't occurred to me that he was going to the cinema in the arts centre as he lives closer to a local cinema. As I walked into the art centre and saw the film that was on, my heart raced a bit and I did think to myself that it would be just my luck to bump into Beard 2 but didn't actually think it would happen!

Anyhow, so far so good, maybe if he was with a woman he's as awkward about it as me and hopes I didn't see him!

I'm on Hinge, Tinder,Facebook dating and POF. It's rare I ever find anyone I want to meet but in the last few weeks there has suddenly been a rash of ok blokes and I've been on four first dates! I am spoiled for choice, but none really are sufficiently chemistry laden for me to go past drinks or dinner so far.

I have quite an unusual profile which weeds out the gammons and the raving right wing nutters. They sometimes message me to tell me I'm ridiculous but that makes it easy for me to block and report if they are particularly nasty.

@Mxflamingnoravera love your updates ( am a longtime lurker and poster here ) I think we've been going as this thread since pre summer!

Ohh god,,facial hair... I am jealous, the beards do it big time for me infact am currently on date 2 ( 3 looming) with my beard ( fellow colleague ) no one knows, it feels SO NAUGHTY .. esp as the beard things gets my fanny a'galloping....
and you are 60! This is amazing. Hope for us all out here!

Back in 2018 I had a thread about a cocklodger who I went on a date with a year to the day yesterday. I threw him out after he overstayed his welcome by weeks and it was clear that he was a freeloading cocklodger.
Last night I got home from my date with Mr Beard1 and ping! A message... from the cocklodger asking if he could "explain". Wtf, a hoover attempt after four years! I've not replied obviously. But the cheek of the man, four years later he thinks he can reel me back in!

I would reply with “who is this?” And pretend the number is no longer yours.
I have had this happen to me a few times, usually around Christmas and new year when they are feeling guilty, though a part of my thinks it’s just them wanting to stir some shit up for Christmas/new year. Men are weird creatures sometimes, god knows what goes on in their brains.

Cocklodger wants to abuse your hospitality further… he’s got no one else to off load from
What an idiot !

That's exactly what I did? Who the fuck is this?
He replied... "it's xxxx I really want to explain". I could block, but I'm enjoying not responding. And when I do, if I do. It will be to FOTTFSOFAWYFTFOSM