Dating Thread 237 - Wintertide Warmth Support & Festive Frolics and

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Merry Christmas one and all. Thanks for all the support and dating wisdoms...

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Hello all and happy Crimbo all! Thught I had lost you all my lovlies.. its so trye about us divorced mums at home with the kids, whilst the dad lard it about.

My exh managed a phonecall to us on Xmas day, telling us how he was ( yawn). So glad dont have to dealw ith his shit anmore.

Anyway, onwards, upwards! Am dating a v cute Mr HOD, mannyyy years younger than I. Not Bad. I don't really feel the phwoar, but, that he fancies moi, ( old lady ) it makes me feel a bit more phwoar about him!

NellyTheCake

agh no harm in some angry words
he acted shitty

be careful going OLD when wounds are so fresh however
as any misbehaviour will hurt more …..

ChaliceinWonderland

happy NY !
honestly as Xmas ends I’m not sure anyones winning post DVCE

the mums are sweating dealing with the histrionic tantrums and basically everything

the dads are having a sad turkey for one (or equivilant ) and waiting for work to re start

maybe it’s the DVCE dads I know

but I kind of don’t think they are having a great time either to be honest

enjoy your youngster !!!

Another daily mash beauty

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/relationships/children-confirm-christmas-day-was-perfect-day-to-meet-dads-new-girlfriend-20221223229609?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1671817700

@NoDatingForOldMen that's interesting to hear about women in their 50s.
I try not to be too fussy about who I match with. My only criteria really is that they can hold a conversation and have decent teeth.

But even that seems difficult to achieve where I live.

be careful going OLD when wounds are so fresh however
as any misbehaviour will hurt more
@Thisisworsethananticpated thanks for the reminder!
I've done OLD for many years but each time I go back I forget how brutal it can be.

Sending love to those struggling with elderly parents. It is so hard watching your parents get old and need help. An navigating the care system is brutal.

😂😂😂

Sorry for your situations @Definitelycross and @NoDatingForOldMen it doesn't sound like the parental commitments are massively compatible with OLD on the other hand (easy for me to say this) good to carve out a little bit of You Time and light relief away from the heavy burden of long term elderly declines.

@NoDatingForOldMen would you be sad or upset if you didn't see or hear from NoShow again? If not then I guess it indicates she is a sort of FWB if you aren't emotionally attached? Better the devil you know in that department than long term celibacy?

Sorry anyway. It sounds intense.

My mum moved to be 4 mins around the corner from me from 300 miles away but refused to look at bungalows or houses near the shops/doctors/chemist as she figured she'd always be able to drive herself. Her shortsightedness and stubbornness in these areas will I have to pitch in with help/care but she won't draft a lasting power of attorney (or will!)

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss tis so true
you are so right ... it doesn't sound like the parental commitments are massively compatible with OLD on the other hand (easy for me to say this) good to carve out a little bit of You Time and light relief away from the heavy burden of long term elderly declines.
You hit the proverbial nail on the head, the few hours a month I have free, I sort of prefer to dedicate them to self care, rather than going on another date that won;'t lead anywhere... OLD can be brutal and a brak can only be a good thing!!

BUON NYE everyone!!

well, I have all my own teeth ( and some hair as well), so maybe a headstart for me 😂.
Im in a rural area and most of the women in my age group were all divorced farmers wives, nice enough, but talk about sheep & cows alot !
if a extended my search to encompass the nearest big city there was definite change in terms of asking for education expectations , height, build, income expectancy, job level, almost down to countries visited, almost like a check list that needed fulfilling before they would even speak to you 🤷🏼

I have just been banned from Tinder!!
No idea why and there doesn't seem to be any sort of appeal process.

Has this happened to anyone before?

Oh I thought the old thread was quiet! You're all here!

I'll have a proper catch up tomorrow- sending everyone festive care and strength xxx

@Nelly the Cake
I’m a long-term lurker. Tinder banned my phone number for no reason. I rejoined using an old phone whose battery lasted 20 seconds when fully charged. It did the trick. All I need now is for some women to respond to my messages.

OMG, this is just a tad too close to home! 😭😂 My kids will have their dad's girlfriend of a couple of months foisted on them any day now (he's been threatening, they're not keen). I'll try to see the funny side.

Anyway. I've been talking to a guy online and he seemed positive when I suggested we meet. His name is very common (think John Smith levels of common, except I don't know his surname), so I asked him for stalkable information. He said I'd have to be more specific. I thought it would be obvious. So please help, hive mind - what can I reasonably ask without seeming like an actual weirdo stalker?

Also, I'm fairly new to OLD - does it put guys off to be asked out? I'd prefer to be asked, but our messages were getting longer and longer, and I'm not really in it for the penpal experience, so I thought I'd bite the bullet. Now wondering if his lack of initiative is a potential red flag.

So I have a first and second dates lined up, for the first time in ages they are men who are not desperate to move in with me... they have their own homes and are a break from my old routine of choosing "projects". But both have beards. I really don't like beards. I like clean shaven men. They are intelligent and interesting but both have white beards.

I clearly can't ask them to change their look for me, and I'd be livid if I was expected to remove body hair for a man, but beards just seem so scratchy. I know I should see beyond the beard... sisters with partners with beards, how do you cope with kissing? Oral? Etc? Do they scratch?

My own son is bearded but I don't get intimate with him and beardy is a new one on me.

Thoughts? Please?

Well, I don’t kiss myself, but I keep my beard trimmed short and I’m told it’s not too scratchy, I use Nivea for men beard conditioner

Manfromcousin
Thanks. That seems to be the only way to rejoin Tinder. Unfortunately I don't have a second phone.
I have emailed them but just got a standard reply that I'd broken the rules of Tinder. And there is no appeals process. Which is rubbish.
I hadn't been on there long enough to do anything!

I think this cuts both ways, if I was talking to a woman for ages and she made no overtures about meeting ( not necessarily being asked out ), I would see this as someone who was not really interested in me

Good luck with that 😂

Yes, both sad & upset

@Mxflamingnoravera beards are fine and non scratchy! I have learned this from OLD after being with clean shaven man for 20 years.

No scratchiness at all either kissing or down there. It's a revelation!

Good luck with the dates if they go ahead and let us know if you get to test the beard kissing situations.

@Mxflamingnoravera my partner who I call Mr Beard on here has a Big Beard. I find it less scratchy than someone stubbly - a lot of clean shaven guys don’t shave every day. Have got used to it now and like it.

In my OLD experience I would always ask for linked in profile. It does work. You can also see there if they are charlatans…some linked in have bogus employers you can’t check. Avoid uncertainty. I’m very risk averse and have tried to only date a small pool of men because I had a lot of requirements.
You don’t need to settle for anything or anybody out of your comfort zone
I don’t call it stalking. It’s quid pro quo. They get info on me too so we both know who are we meeting.
I was lied to once but it was my fault for not checking correctly.

Good on you for not choosing projects. Guys with their own home is a massive YES. The beardy thing might grow on you? Are they other wise smart and proper? I think it depends on how they look and their style in general. A lazy beard because I can’t be arsed to shave is a NO.
I think just go and see how it feels. I’ve never kissed a bearded one but I would have in quarantine when my MrEx allowed him to grow. He looked ultra sexy so I wouldn’t have minded. I think it all depends on the guy?
No idea about oral sex with beards 😝

Ohh I adore beards in fact it is a Requirement! The linkedin check is always a good idea. Had so mnay penpal chats that go nowhere with lonely guys who just want a distraction and who are not serious.
Given up on all that now, my 2 current chats are both serious professionals and wouldnt set the bar any lower.

Banned for Tinder,blimey! No idea how you can get that to happen!

Anyway roll on 2023 my dears!

Success! I am back on Tinder.
I complained again and ta da got a reply from a real person (maybe) saying my account was working properly now.

Now I just need to match with some who don't look like they've just been let out of prison.

Beards are lovely btw. 🙂