Dating Thread 237 - Wintertide Warmth Support & Festive Frolics and

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Merry Christmas one and all. Thanks for all the support and dating wisdoms...

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I've had some one line difficulties with the guy I've been seeing - let's call him Mr S. I had a truly terrible day yesterday- when I got home he had sent me a message asking how I was. I realised pretty quickly he'd forgotten that I was going to a funeral and then things got worse with him saying I was being difficult to talk to and terse - I was responding quickly but was also trying to get kids tea ready- he then just disappeared for 2.5 hours just when I couid have done with someone to talk to.

ilovebrie8

look I get that , but as a mother of two sons who I’m raising (ha !) on my own I’m very sensitive to making gender generalisations

we are different that’s for sure

but I get sensitive to comments from either gender I suppose

I love the kids today with their binary and gender neutral movement

i hope that their business leadership teams and boards will be very different to what I’ve had to handle

NellyTheCake

wanker

that deserve a a hard deletion
like fuck him - hedging his bets

let’s hope none of them work out

@Thisisworsethananticpated 👍! I do agree ...I have 2 nephews am v involved with they are just setting out in the world and I worry for them it’s tough all round nowadays I think 🙂

@Thisisworsethananticpated We haven't met so I don't have a problem with him being on pof chatting to others. Ideally he should be so excited to meet me that he ignores the rest 😆
It's just the whole thing was a bit weird.
Confirm a date then quickly say you're ill. Then cancel at 5am.

@ilovebrie8 thanks. I'll give him a couple of days. If I've heard nothing then I'll ask if he's feeling better and wants to rearrange. I suspect he won't but no harm in trying. But I won't be polite if he says no. I can't be doing with people who can't just be honest.

I’m doing okay thanks, nothing from NoShow, so that’s that really, I’m looking to get my mum a stairlift & maybe some home help so to help her say independent as long as possible.

I (personally) think old is not easy for most average men, yes we get a few matches, but hardly any opening messages from women or many messages replies, that’s no reflection on the people, but that’s just how it is.

Hello. I am back. Well, I never really went, I just got boring and kind of bitter. I'm doing better now, though. It's good to see the game is still afoot, though there are some break ups 😢

I have a new iron. After fifty interchangeable nice guys who (OK. five. It just felt interminable, I never want to sit in a pub and talk about myself again!) being stood up by a guy who was definitely a player, but at least had the confidence to flirt (somewhat more than appropriate...) various un-matchings for reasons I was not privy to or just plain stupid, (like I have kids so how can I possibly date?!) and a request to smell my socks (WTAF?) I have found a guy with a bit of pzazz who likes my flirty texts (Hurrah. Take that, Pug!) and might just be someone I can get behind. (Or under!). And I feel better. I think my confidence took a bit of a knock. I shall call hime MrPottery and look forward to some fun times. He lives further away that I would like, but makes beautiful things and thinks my flirty texts are fiiiine (he's Canadian. I'm finding it very sexy). He has a beard, but I asked how he felt about shaving and he said doesn't care and will if I prefer it. This is much more how I expected things go (except for the shaving!) Game on!

@Eeksteek! Fantastic post. Sound like you have been doing some serious leg work there before a potential iron emerged. Go you and wtaf re sock smelling!

I'm in midst of a meh phase with OLD and reading your update has helped me realise there's really no point in arranging dates with blokes we know aren't going to do it for us in real life. I know they say it's a numbers game but one does really know when you've matched with someone who's on your wave length don't you.

When will you or have you met MrPottery (ha ha my phone kept insisting I wanted to write MrLottery there! Maybe he will turn out to be so 😂😂😂)

@Eeksteek - I like the sound of him . I bet he has a sexy accent too!

I have to say I've always assumed OLD is easier for women then men (at the early stage at least) as there are more of us than them. I've spent some time on reddit and lots of men on there talk about how hard it is.

Why are there more women than men @Undecidedandtorn I can't work that out. I would have guessed at 50:50 or more men as women tend to take on the single parent role apres divorce whereas men tend to be able to skip off with fewer domestic responsibilities and are keener on shagging (<<< deliberate over generalisations)

I'm just about to set off to meet MrBike for a walk and then a pub somewhere 😊 It's a beautiful sunny day, so should be lovely.

On the phone last night he said some really lovely things, about how he feels we've known each other for years and how easy it is being with me, that he feels relaxed and like he can just be himself, so it looks like we both feel the same. We're planning what we're going to do next Saturday and also talked about Valentine's Day.

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

we will always be advantaged as men (not all !) are far more priapic than we are !!!

so if we went online today we could be shagging in a few days time

now the quality and chemistry is TBD

beepbeepme

cant help noticing that you never seem to comment on what other posters are experiencing (and a lot of its shit !!)

I’m delighted you have found early days happiness , really

but it’s also a bit annoying how you never ever comment on the people who are having a tough time of it either

Sorry Slothy. I got you confused lovely. Anyway I am sorry it didn’t work out for you but you take your time and decide what feels right for you.

Oh don't say that @Thisisworsethananticpated about @beepbeepme we welcome all contributions and love following a heady new romance. It's ok. Us wise old (bitter) daters can do the chewing over tricky issues when they arise. There's no obligation to post on what others are up to.

@Thisisworsethananticpated not everybody posts here regularly. I used to, for example, but I'm not dating at the moment so I just drop in occasionally.

And as for not communicating when someone feels shit, there is always support and advice for those people who are feeling down from other posters. I personally find that if there's too many posts directed at one poster it has the danger of becoming a bit of pile on, and it can feel a bit overwhelming.

@beepbeepme is allowed to post on here as little or as often as they want.

I am with you @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss on the OLD front.. going through a bit of a ‘meh’ spell!

I am enjoying the updates of @beepbeepme, @Mila14 and @ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers … it gives me hope!!

Thank you @Mollymolloy! That's really sweet of you ❤️

Welcome back, @Eeksteek!

Most stats say that men make up 60 to 70% of users on OLD, so we (men ) are always going to be in over supply, so getting matches / chats / dates etc, it always going to be harder in the initial stages, after that it’s just regular dating

Like you. Would Not. Believe. He likes to send me voice notes late at night and I’m steaming the windows up here! I’ve been completely open about my menopausal sex mania and he likes it (I mean who wouldn’t? Apart from Pug, obviously. Idiot) but he’s cool about it. Not all over it. He doesn’t make me feel embarrassed or obligated because we’ve talked a lot about sex. He’s so chilled. We’ve met. He’s fun. I pretty much ambushed him for a kiss (he was nice guy number six. I’d got impatient with them and their coy ways) and then I especially sent some flirty stuff to see how he coped. (I’m not having another Pug on my hands!)

Oncey, I am RUTHLESS with pre-date screening. I insist on practically a virtual date with a whole evening’s chat. And I ask about all my dealbreakers (except facial hair. I’ve had to lower that standard somewhat, or I wouldn’t have even a puddle of candidates! But I think a lot of guys wouldn’t mind shaving, they just don’t for convenience, so it can’t hurt to ask. I mean, I don’t bother with my legs if I’m not with someone, but I do if I am, no question). You sound like you’re having a rough time. I would never have got this far without your support.

Also (and this will make you laugh) I did a ton of swiping and setting up dates for last week because my kiddo was away skiiing, and that’s a once in two years event for me. I planned to date a lot and paint
my bedroom, and I spent £500 on private ski lessons for The Girl to give her confidence so I wouldn’t feel guilty that she wasn’t having fun.

MrPottery is only a bloody ex-ski instructor from Whistler and a decorator for a living. You couldn’t fucking make it up! 🤣🤣🤣

@Eeksteek omg imagine if you can get Mr Pottery giving you private ski lessons and redecorating your house… all while talking to you in his sexy accent… bliss!

Hi everyone! I’ve been a bit of a lurker on this thread for a while but have recently taken the plunge into trying OLD following a breakup so just thought I’d say hello to begin with 👋😊