Dating Thread 237 - Wintertide Warmth Support & Festive Frolics and

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Merry Christmas one and all. Thanks for all the support and dating wisdoms...

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

It was lovely thanks 😊 Falling for him big time, I think it's mutual.

What a fantastic update @beepbeepme that is 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Brilliant Oncey!! Thanks for posting this 😘😘

I think he’s feeling exactly like you Beepbeep . I also think it’s happened to you both. Falling in love is natural and yes, you are seeing each other pretty much all the time so to me, that indicates none of you have enough of each other. Please enjoy the lot and just let go…

Thank you @Mila14 . I just haven't felt like this for a long time and didn't expect it at all. Every time I say something over the top I'm scared I've blown it, yet he seems to take it all in his stride 🤷‍♀️

I forecast steamy weather ahead for @beepbeepme Hoorah for a happy dating story for us to all follow.

😁 I hope so, I don't think either of us can keep our hands off the other really, I don't recognise myself 😂

Beepbeep…that’s what we talk about here… the lightning bolt… I’ve been 7 years with a guy and we are still embarrassing in public… we can’t keep our hands off each other. This is such a rare thing to find because you are fully in sync with someone. Enjoy everything

That's lovely 🥰 I hope we'll be like that too. I didn't expect to find anyone I liked on OLD, so was very pleasantly surprised that I was attracted to him. I could kiss him all the time and definitely more than that. He said yesterday, it's like we knew each other in another life 😊

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss yeah I get all that, over the last 7 years I've met enough complete dickheads to be able to sniff them out at a distance: Also nice guys that it was never going to be anything more than casual with and that was ok from both our perspectives. Not really been one to fall for someone without due reason .... this one really gave me the feels I'm so many ways though, when I really wasn't expecting it or seeking it out (and zero red flags) so it's hit hard.

Bloody love Tim Minchin though!

I should have been more sympathetic earlier @Boleynforsoup I am sorry. It's a flipping gut punch when you finally meet someone ace, do all the early stuff then unexpectedly it doesn't turn into a long lasting relationship.

Take your time to come to terms with it. The end of any relationship is always a bereavement of sorts with grief.

I should have said this earlier (but yes good old Tim reminds us doesn't he).

@beepbeepme I know I'm full of pessimism and hard words today so ignore me but I'm going to just mention when I met my XH (yonks ago in the 1990s) we were like this. Felt amazing. Perfect. Then suddenly it wasn't and we split.

Hopefully it will pan out like @Mila14 and her love with MrEx but try to stay cool. Almost impossible to do I know.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss yeah that's what I'm scared of. Time will tell I guess.

I think Oncey was in love, and it is possible for anyone to fall in love at whatever stage in life. But I do believe falling in love AFTER going through kids, fertility, kids gone, divorce etc…is SPECIALLY SPECIAL. You just don’t have the crap we went through, some of us are still rising kids at home and the difficulties to have an adult relationship are much bigger. Many of us are still dealing still with divorce issues. So I am going to say that I think contrary to Oncey on this one. I think you Beepbeep are onto the real business of love. One that is physical, wise, one that has maturity, people who have had kids and saw them empty the nest…it is absolutely wonderful. You 2 have all the time now and freedom to do what you want when you want.

@LuckyLinda3 you're very welcome ❤️

I've also been head over heels whirlwind of a romance post divorce via OLD and it was completely fabulous until it suddenly wasn't and I got dumped unceremoniously.
Broke my heart.

@Mollymolloy no, all quiet on the NoShow front, but work has gone mad, unfortunately the wife of a colleague is sadly terminal so work load is up massively also busy with stubborn parent ( try to organise a stair lift) and other bits
so kinda preoccupied right now

@Mila14 yes it possibly is different. I hope so anyway. I've just been talking to him, we seem to be on the same page, we're talking about a relationship now rather than dates. It just feels so right 🤞

I think it's a combination of shit things at once as well: DM on end of life care, DD2 school refusing due to anxiety, my contract at work ends in 4 weeks and I still haven't been able to secure a new post so a bit worried about finances, shit weather... it felt like this was the one nice thing that had happened in a long time...

I know he's really going through it too, so I totally understand. But it just feels shit and sad.

Boleynforsoup

ive got a school refuser too
fucking brutal
on top of eveything else

it’s shit and sad , I’ve just split with someone after a year and I’m totally gutted 😞
had to take a sick day today

but I have to tough it out

alot of us are having a hard time I think
hang tight x

beepbeepme

is bucking the trend ! And I hope it stays happy

@Thisisworsethananticpated I hope you're ok.

I wish there was an on and off switch x

Worsy days under the duvet should be off work days. We all get those my darling. It’s totally normal. Proper sick day. It will pass and it will get better

Oh god @Boleynforsoup that is a crazy hard cocktail of overwhelming things to deal with. A parent at end of life is horrendous and know myself how very very challenging and worrying a kid with disabling anxiety can be. Super stressful.

All you can do right now is look after yourself and keep the home fires burning as best you can. Drink water, eat food, get sleep and stagger through each day of work.

How old is the DD2 and what kind of contract are you seeking? Might you be able to seek a permanent role as well?

Sorry this is all happening at once to you. Keep putting one foot in front of the other even when it feels like wading through treacle.

@Thisisworsethananticpated OK let's see the funny side...

I'm a "successful" middle aged woman who one month ago was hankering after a bare knuckle boxer who lives with his mother and ghosted me!!!

My love, you're fine!! We've all been there!!

5thWisdom and mila
thanks

i will be fine
but I really liked him and as I stuck it out for a year I got very fond of him
it’s those little reminders you see and have you get all teary 🥲
And everything I watch has sex scenes
every thing ! 😭

plus as i work from home I’m going to have to keep up social activities that don’t involve booze
so - gym 🙄

Didn’t realise the boxer lived with his mum
bless !