Dating Thread 237 - Wintertide Warmth Support & Festive Frolics and

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Merry Christmas one and all. Thanks for all the support and dating wisdoms...

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Definitelycross

no im the same

and good news !

Wow…you are basically meeting daily. I think there is 0 doubt he’s totally smitten. And so are you Beepbeep. Enjoy a lot lovely 🥰

She’s probably swiping too. I’d say she’s ok with it but it didn’t set her alight. She’s probably checking other options and so should you

Thank you Molly, I saw MrEx first week after new year but I was with kids so it was just for lunch and no naughties. However massive PDA and teenage petting in the car as usual 😂😂😂. I’m going to miss this when it goes…it’s 7 years now but when you fancy each other massively…
He’s crazy busy but I am going to enjoy my few kids free days you betcha!

Howlongy, I think she got the wrong message. If a guy starts telling me we are not seeing each other I want explanations. Otherwise I assume he’s gone off me. You need to explain things properly to her please. You really really like her and she should feel that is the case. I’m hoping you can neta le and open your heart to her. That is necessary

@Definitelycross thanks, could probably do with that right now,
pas for sexting, Personally I think it’s great, but both parties need to be onboard

@DdraigGoch from personal experience I would say avoid women with horses ( apologies to those with horses), they are real time & money sponges.

… the horses are time & money sponges..

Deffy…I agree sexy chat is cool if it goes both ways. If you and your iron feel hot and want sexy chat I think that is brilliant. It’s the one sided sex chat from someone you don’t know at all and have t even met that annoys most of us… Like everything , personal preferences rule here.

There can’t be too many women with horses. I do know one at work and she is very much into talking about the horse. I like horses as animals but think maybe you would need to both be horse owners for the relationship to have a happy ending riding into the sunset together! Otherwise the non-horse owner would probably end up getting jealous of the horse…

Im in the same position as @DdraigGoch MrHills came back late last night with a humourous but lacklustre message so two days after our date and the subsequent exchange about how great it was.

How message contains no questions to me just answers to mine so for me that's a dried up convo and a lack of interest on his part.

I'll not be swiping until the spring now. Get a few things attended to on the home front.

When I do i will need to set my filters to local people only as can't be doing with staying overnight somewhere over an hour away anymore. It worked for a while but not now.

@NoDatingForOldMen maybe send a text to NoShow to ask if she's heard your voicemails and can you talk? For certainty that she has?

Messaging had been a little sporadic since she went back to work after the bank holiday anyway - completely understandable given that her employer had declared a critical incident - so it was not that dramatic a change, which makes it even less clear whether things have changed. I'm certainly not going to build my hopes up but I won't delete the conversation, just let it time out if nothing happens - even if she's holding her options open as several posters are suggesting, I've got nothing to lose by remaining an option.

I'd just rather know for definite, at least it provides closure rather than wondering if you've been ghosted. I've been threatening to get a cat for years, perhaps it's time to do so. At least you know where you stand.

@Mila14 and @Mollymolloy thanks, yes he'll be busy working for a few days then so won't see him until next week probably, but meeting tonight for a drink 😊

teesguy
that’s awesome news ! DD
keep the faith

I also received a reply from my ex and no verbal abuse as pertains my son
wonderful green shoot 😬

I need to find a meme that suggests he needs to apologise to son
but that’s a February 2023 project

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss I have already double messaged this week & I know both have been read (thanks to the Power of WhatsApp)…
as to Hills, sounds like a Thanks but NoThanks, ..

Ah. You have messaged and no response @NoDatingForOldMen that's a sad thing. Give her time. She's got no reason to ghost you unless she was already having doubts and you conversation helped her with an out.

I agree with Hills. It's not the enthusiastic message I would expect as someone who wants to take things forward.
My 2022 principle is to 'match their energy' (off the internet dating gurus) but also my own 'if there's no questions then there's no reason to write back to early messages - it should be a two way exciting convo not me interviewing them!'

NoDatingForOldMen

id hang tight
give her a few days to digest

either she wanted an out (hence offering it )
or she is very sad you took it , and bruised

time will tell , I got the impression your keen on each other

plus she’s anxious
as fellow anxious biatch- she might have stuff going on you don’t know about

I'd just rather know for definite, at least it provides closure rather than wondering if you've been ghosted

as much as we all want closure and answers , sometimes I think we want and expect too much from OLD people

sometimes no text is closure , fuck em

im going to be brutal if and when I go back online

how it is. If a guy or a woman goes silent and not effusive about a first date it’s a NO THANKS. Brutal is right. Erase and keep swiping. Don’t get bruised ego because you are bound to be on the other seat at some point and dislike your date or go home feeling “ meh”

Changes in comms mean something‘s up too. I learnt a lot in this thread and in my very busy OLD experience 😂😂😂🙄

For what it's worth, a horse taking up time and money is no bother to me at all. It's her money to spend as she chooses, just as I've got my own expensive hobbies. Time-wise it's not so much time that you can't send the odd message every now and then - especially as there was a weather warning yesterday so the horse wouldn't be turned out. Again I've got my own hobbies and wouldn't want to be joined at the hip.

I’m at the hairdressers and there is the sweetest old couple here

he’s just told her haircut makes her look 20 years younger
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OLD can certainly be unforgiving and being ghosted is almost expected when you've only been messaging. It's pretty shit though when you've actually met up.

I’d gently say she hasn’t exactly ghosted you

ghosting is when they totally and utterly disappear and your in the middle of something

you matched
chatted nicely
had one date
she slowed down comms after the date which has happened to ALL of us and feels shitty

What shit is that you liked her and maybe got hopeful , which again happens to many of us
And especially if you havnt met anyone nice for some time

im not saying this is right but at this early stage I’d delete them
assume not keen
and look for others

if she pops up again , you’ll see and can maybe play it even cooler back

Ohmygod this. After the bad date he messaged to say how lovely it had been to meet me. I should have just said thank you but I'm not feeling it.

I take no reply as a no future now.

It's the hope that kills you with OLD

And like someone said - expecting too much from them - manners wise.

The relief I feel being off the apps is crazy.

I asked MrG if he wanted to meet for a drink on Friday and he said he'd love to. That makes me very happy.

I have also said that I'm rubbish at playing it cool. He laughed and blew a kiss. That's good enough for me.

My resolution is it doesn't always have to be the guy. Also I'm not working just now so I forget what it's like and not being able to message.

But yes, it's like gambling adverts - when the fun stops STOP 🛑

Nice work @Definitelycross nice to have a Friday date lined up with MrG...

I agree. Ghosting is a sudden inexplicable ceasing of comms with no warning. Worse is suddenly being blocked everywhere.