Dating Thread 237 - Wintertide Warmth Support & Festive Frolics and

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Merry Christmas one and all. Thanks for all the support and dating wisdoms...

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Mila14 I am indeed 😆definitely up there with Mr city as irons go but this one is younger and just beautiful to look at. He's now confirmed he would indeed like to meet up again so I shall name him Mr Rugby 😁

Slothmomma

hey im Pleased you had a good time 🙂

let’s see what happens given the many maze like variances Of modern life and post divorce 😬

but it was positive and it’s so good to know there are people we fancy

Mr City was VERY HIGH BAR indeed. So I’m so happy you find Mr Rugby equally fanciable in every way. Enjoy Slothy and get ready for date 2

I intend to @Mila14 😆

He was already inside in queue ordering for us when I arrived and when he turned and gave me a welcome kiss on cheek sort of thing I was all butterflies straight away 🤦‍♀️ he has a lovely non accent - he speaks proper - not like my accent 😆 I will now calm myself as date 2 may never materialise

Yipeee. This is exactly the update we like!

Sounds like a lovely date, lovely butterflies and here's to Date 2!

Perfect to warm our cockles on a wet and grey Saturday!

Nice work @Slothmomma he sounds the right calibre for you. Glad you had a great time and the butterflies were present.

Isn't it funny the things that gives us butterflies?! I liked watching MrBike talk to the very young waiter in the restaurant, and loved hearing him laugh, it gave me butterflies too, and when he just took my hand as he was walking me home 😊

Beepbeep and Slothy…this is is what is all about in my humble opinion. Looking forward to your next dates with the 2 handsome fit guys. May I ask the ages of the 2 hunks? It gives people in this thread HOPE

MrBike is 53. It's a nice feeling, but I've not been in this position for such a long time, I'm not used to feeling this nervous. I went on a few first dates two years ago, but there was no spark at all and I only saw them once, then told them there was no spark and didn't see them again. This time there's definitely a spark!

I'm 58, so quite flattered, but then everyone tells me I look younger than my age 🤷‍♀️

Thank you Beepbeep …it shows there are good hunks out there for more mature ladies and I think it’s great you don’t want to settle and need the spark ⚡️

Noooo! I'm happy on my own, definitely not going to settle. It's taken me two years, but may now have found a good one 😊

Mr rugby is 42 and I'm 46 although like @beepbeepme get told I look younger than that (definitely feel it though 😆)

Excellent stuff all round ladies 😊🥰

Look at us! 😂

Lovely day out with Mr DM today. I'm not sure there will ever be a physical attraction for me but I'm enjoying being heard, valued and respected with laughs and hugs along the way.
I'm learning to have confidence in my ability to spot 🚩 (ignored Red Square in last relationship and now recovering) and right now that's good enough for me.

Love to see your great date news.

Yay for yummy dates. @Mila14 is right, it does give us hope.

@Thisisworsethananticpated your declutter comment earlier has stuck with me. It's been such a busy time, I'm looking forward to 4 child free days next week and all I want to do is have a clear out of every room in the house - it will make me feel so much calmer and happier! How sad is that?! Haha!

It's like I have a weird mental list of things I'm prioritising and need to get in order before I go back on apps. Declutter is one! Designer hand bag is another. It sounds daft but I have an awful tendency to just put myself last when a man is on the scene. I go into carer mode and completely focus on them. It sounds ridiculous but I'd let them have the best of everything, I'd make myself uncomfortable, go hungry, downplay my feelings, pretend and go along with things. I really need to find a balanced relationship or learn how to be in one.

This time away from them is really giving me space to think.

I've just been on the phone with MrBike for nearly two hours, talking about everything and anything, and we're meeting up tomorrow too. I feel very comfortable talking to him and he says he's quite shy but doesn't feel it around me 😊

5thWisdom

its the best , yesterday I fixed two broken things and exercised loads

im going to add in another exercise class to replace ‘date night ‘ aka sex night

im at the stage where I hope and think me and Balkan just stop messaging and fade

and a major issue for him got resolved yesterday so I leave him in a better place

im not going back in the apps either , I want my WhatsApp and sanity back for a while

all I want to do is have a clear out of every room in the house - it will make me feel so much calmer and happier! How sad is that

its not sad !!!! Look a lot of what you said resonates with me . One summer kids were away and I had a health issue
all is did was decluttering for a pending build and watch TV

but I wasn’t dating and wasn’t on WhatsApp and it was so calm
I didn’t feel lonely

i have had alot of fun and learnt alot

but I feel less lonely when there isn’t a man on the scene TBH

I think you will find many of us don’t want to admit the same thing happens or has happened to us…putting ourselves back in the list when we are in love with someone, they come first and our problems and our needs go in second place. This was one of my issues with MrEx to be honest. I no longer need to do that in this second time round. I feel freer and see things differently. But it’s taken 7 years and a break and 8 months of OLD in the middle. So I am still learning new things about what I want and what I don’t. He’s the one having to do more work this time. I can’t right now do more for a man I’m in love with. I am putting my projects and my life ahead and he can come along or just stay behind and slide out of my life ( I love this “slide” thing I read from Oncey). No drama because I am different and I feel very differently. I no longer think about him 24/7 either… it’s liberating.

Absolutely wonderful. Just relax and enjoy Beepbeep 😊

Mila14

honestly I think you are in pretty healthy headspace around Mr Ex

I know that I’ve lied to myself a lot (not saying you are ) and suppressed things

but if he’s in the right box , and you feel secure and happy - and he’s lost you before and doesn’t want to again ….

well I hope it has legs 🦵

I totally understand the apps thing Worsy. I’m so much better out of them ! I love it you are exercising harder and fixing things ( to me that is total self love, your fitness and health top priority). I also understand you are unable to stop it with Balkan because it’s been my story too. I think it’s a new phase for Balkan if a major issue got sorted ( I imagine to do with his divorce). Let’s see which way it goes and how having things clearer for him affects your current relationship. I think Oncey put it right “slide” out of a relationship or perhaps stay…whatever works at the time