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Original poster

Turned on flirting with boss... help!!

108 replies

WelshMammy2 · 18/12/2022 11:25

I have worked with my boss for 7 years. No hint whatsoever at anything being there. He is older quite a bit older than me.

We travel the world as part of our jobs. About three months ago we had a night out after a day of meeting, and ended up on the dance floor. First time in 7 years. He got quite touchy feely... I didn't "do anything" but dance - but I also didn't tell him no or to stop. I'm being super honest when I post this - I actually really enjoyed the attention. We never mentioned anything again.

Fast forward to our Christmas night out. After several drinks, he tells me he fancies me. He is married with three kids 😳 again he was touchy feely, kissing my cheek a lot and at one point grabbed my bum. The rest of the team were there so I kept telling him to be careful, and he kept trying to get us to sneak off.

My dilemma... I don't fancy him but omg did I enjoy it. I loved the attention, found it beyond sexy and can't wait for the next night incase it might happen again!! I guess I love the thrill of the chase? The lust?

I have no intention of acting on anything and I know what I am still doing is wrong. I'm sure lots of people will comment to tell me that too. In terms of my feelings though and really enjoying it - am I a narcissist? 😂 why do I like all the attention so much? I can't stop thinking about it... normal??

OP posts:
Opentooffers · 19/12/2022 06:36

That you are getting turned on by the attentions of someone you don't fancy does say a bit about you. It's not great being that desperate for attention. If you had the attentions of someone more appropriate in your life, you probably would not respond and would see him as sleazy.
You may not have seen evidence of it, but I bet he's done this kind of thing before. After apologising he basically said "how about it though?" but is quite casual about ' moving on' whatever that means in his case - next colleague?

MsDogLady · 19/12/2022 06:45

OP’s previous threads mention her husband and young child.

MushMonster · 19/12/2022 06:51

Do not fool yourself saying you will not act upon it. You already are.
Do you have a partner yourself?

Crazypaving22 · 19/12/2022 06:57

@ChristmasSparkleTastic good point re that line.

But she has other posts (not on this thread) which clearly state she's married with a young child.

ClareBlue · 19/12/2022 08:38

She states on this thread she is married with a child at 4.52 yesterday

girlmom21 · 19/12/2022 08:51

ClareBlue · 19/12/2022 08:38

She states on this thread she is married with a child at 4.52 yesterday

Can you copy and paste the quote? The only part where any kind of marriage is mentioned is where she said he's previously had opportunities to cheat he's said 'no, I'm married'. Nothing about her.

LynneBenfield · 19/12/2022 14:36

WelshMammy2 · 18/12/2022 16:51

Thanks all for your comments - some lovely things for me to read hear 🤣

A few clarifications. I'm 33 and he is 49. I think when I said older some might be thinking alot older than that.

I have been good friends with him I'd say for about 6 years. Despite how my post reads, he isn't a dirty old man. Or a predator. Or a perv. He hasn't cheated on his wife before this (of course as far as I am aware, but I have had countless nights out and seen him have that opportunity and say no, I am married).

As some have rightly pointed out, I didn't stop him. And yes he shouldn't have done it - he has already apologised profusely today but said he does genuinely like me, and if I'm not interested no worries move on etc. etc. It isn't just someone using his status to get to me. There is very little difference in our pay/job spec, but yes he is my line manager. There are lots of younger women in the team, younger and prettier than me, and he has never done anything with them.

I was more asking about me as a person.. to be excited by the attention of someone I don't fancy, but yes I love the attention. Knowing he has a wife at home. I don't need anyone to tell me that's awful - seeing her would put me back in my place, but in the moment, I am shamefully admitting I enjoyed it. And I don't know why...

I just find the attention a turn on I guess... but not a turn on from a dirty old perv as some of you might suggest!

This is the married post, girlmom

LynneBenfield · 19/12/2022 14:38

But yes, it seems to be refusals written from his perspective

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