Chatting with a chap and he said-

[Shallysally]

So I’ve been chatting with a chap, very casual, I’m not long out of a long term relationship and definitely not in the right head space for anything other than extremely casual.

Anyway, we had been chatting yesterday about Christmas movies and music. I made a joke that I bet he loves Cliff Richard’s tunes. Just nice banter.

Tonight I saw a post on fb about Cliff bringing a new Christmas album out. So I screenshotted and sent it to the chap.
His response was “you’ll be getting a slap 😉😉”

I said, a what now? He proceeded to make a joke of it, several messages later he admitted he had been a dick, apologised, said he knows better.

I’m seriously put off by this remark.
Am I over reacting? I know that some people do say this, but surely to
people they know well enough to know that they are joking?

I don't think anyone is ridiculous. Some people joke about that sort of thing daily and some people don't. I wouldn't like a romantic partner doing it or any male actually. It's an individual thing so if it's crossed a boundary with OP then that's her right.

I wouldn’t like it at all . Alarm bells I think

Crazy isn't it? But this is man-hating Mumsnet. I'm surprised a lot of posters on here even have husbands/boyfriends/any relationship with men whatsoever, they seem to take umbrage for the least little thing.
It was a joke for crying out loud. Even Dec (from Ant & Dec) always says "I'll smash yer face in". It doesn't mean he's a violent abuser fgs.

I'm surprised a lot of posters on here even have husbands/boyfriends/any relationship with men whatsoever, they seem to take umbrage for the least little thing.

Be surprised if you like. My DH is hot and has a sense of humour that doesn't involve violence against women.

Does housework and looks after his own kid too.

And sometimes when I look over and say, "I love you DH, you're wonderful " he says, "LOL someone being a twat on Mumsnet?" And I reply "yes".

@ScreamInBlue I’m not suggesting that he is a violent abuser, but that kind of a joke with me when we haven’t even met seemed off.

@MrsTerryPratchett thank you for being a voice of reason. Your DH sounds like a decent man, imagine that!

ah yes- ant and dec are my sexy, suave, smooth dream men

i really look for their banter and humour in a new lover

I live in Ireland and this is one of the most common throw away jokes, to me the reactions on this thread, to a very clear joke is just mind blowing...

Please can you explain the joke and why an entire nation is telling it: what’s the funny part? What’s the punchline (no pun intended)? Is it that men sometimes beat women?

@stuntbubbles it's NOT literal. Omg, I say it - does this mean... I HIT MEN? Am I an abuser?

It is funny how people take things differently and have different sense of humours.

I think some people must struggle to watch comedians and comedy movies there must be so much tutting and huffing and puffing going on.

@DesertIslandCondiment I know. I'm actually so sick of living in a woke world lol

I didn’t say it was literal. I asked what the joke was. Still not getting it.

Sounds like a joke and I would say you are over reacting. I have said that to friends/my kids etc but I wouldn’t dream of actually slapping them.

@stuntbubbles you're just too good for this world then.

OP was clearly taking the piss out of him for his assumed music choices, how's that not bullying if we're going to be pernickety here?

Makes me laugh lol.

@Harper02 Why not just explain what the joke is?

I took it to mean a slap on the bum - as in something abit cheeky ?!hence the 😉😉

@stuntbubbles why not address my second point?

You are well over reacting

i don’t believe this bloke is going to come round and wallop OP. It is clearly ‘a joke’

I do however believe that this bloke has a dull, dreary sense of humour and many of the posters on this thread do as well 😂 we’ve had ant and fucking dec cited as a great example this dazzling humour

If you want to shag these blokes and find them charming, good for you! But it’s also ok to think ‘erm no, bit weird, no thanks’ and throw the man back in.

It’s not a matter of ‘overreacting’, it’s a matter of taste.

I think the fact he thought it was funny and you don't is reason enough to be questioning whether there's any future in it. My DH sometimes makes 'jokes' that just miss the mark totally for my sense of humour and it almost put me off at first. Luckily most of the time he's very amusing so if it's a one off perhaps give him the benefit of the doubt.

@Harper02 I’ve said on this thread I didn’t think OP’s joke was the height of wit but at least I understood it – presumably he’s got fogeyish taste in Christmas music and she teased him he must like Cliff Richard. Not my style of banter but it makes sense as a joke.

”I’m going to slap you” – what’s the joke there, then?

So to make your point you have to slag off people you don't even know.

I'm definitely not dull or dreary and I also don't get offended by everything and do laugh at certain things that some posters on here wouldn't.

I did laugh at a PP who wrote what her DH said when she told him she loved him. Depending on what mood we were both in my DH might have replied I love you too or he may have said do you fancy an early day not is somebody being a twat on Mumsnet.

I would absolutely take it as a joke

Early night even.

It was a joke and you are over reacting