DH farting problem ruining relationship

[Tiptopsshape]

So basically what it says on the tin. Married 4 years, everythings fine, really cant conplain at all except for the farting issue. And yes he's had all sorts of tests, diet changes, nothing helps 😣 he's massively self conscious of it, smell is putrid to the point of making me feel sick, and so embarrassing when visiting parents or with friends, I cant seem to get the stench out of the house.
Just to be clear he doesnt eat junk food as im not a fan, we eat healthy, weirdly it seems the more nervous he gets about his flatulence the worse it gets. The weekend was the last straw, I had to sleep downstairs as the smell in our room was disgusting.
He's had a colonoscopy, showed nothing, stool samples etc, theyre saying ibs as he's other wise healthy apart from the putrid farting which is ruining everything.

www.healthline.com/nutrition/7-nutrients-you-cant-get-from-plants

We are designed to be omnivores. Animal products give us plenty test plants don't. There are nutrients that we absorb better from animals, even if we can get them from plants, eg b12 and iron.

There are more options than fast food or vegan. His health is more important than any animal's wellbeing.

he shares my values which is important in a relationship, especially about animal welfare.
If you believe this to be true, why are you combing through the bins like a fucking raccoon to try and catch him out? Insanity.

Perhaps he has Bile Acid malabsorption - google it.

"Like a fucking raccoon" 😂

Like a fucking raccoon 🤣🤣🤣

surely you must see it’s his diet OP? Let him relax on the whole food thing and see what happens with his guts

THIS.

also agree with PP who called OP unhinged, no offence.

I am genuinely shocked you wanted him to phone your sister. That is absolutely mortifying you are treating him like a child.
you need to stop shaming him

Secondly perhaps gently give him permission to eat meat so he can do elimination programmes with other foods

Lentils maybe causing it ? Or garlic or onion.

I have a strong reaction when i eat a lot of garlic. .which i love..i always have an upset stomach

@SmallPrawnEnergy 😂like a fucking racoon

This.

A proper low carb diet - animal protein and green leafy veg - stops all farts completely.

I can't imagine anything more cringe-making than my brother in law phoning me to apologise for farting weeks ago.

No one MAKES another grown adult eat anything.

People can be put under pressure though.

@Tiptopsshape Vegan sources of omega 3 aren't as good for the heart www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/how-to-eat-a-balanced-diet/the-vegan-diet/ So ideally consider having some salmon, sardines or something a couple of times a week. I imagine fish are pretty thick anyway so it's not like eating a mammal.

Nothing wrong with carbs.

Hang on...the fart at your sister's was so potent, your dad and sister had to open the windows? So bad it (in your words) ruined the dinner?

And you're telling me the child got the blame? Wtf? Did you sit back and watch a bunch of adults tell him/her off for something they didn't do? I imagine if it was bad enough to destroy the whole meal it wasn't exactly a lighthearted telling-off either...

Very true. But some carbs are known irritants (to some) as they contain high levels of FODMAPS - fruit, vegetables that grown below ground, wheat, to name a few, and others, like leafy green vegetables/salad leaves are easily digested and do not trigger IBS

Do you not think the vegan diet might be the cause? You said yourself it wasn't as toxic smelling before then.

Immediately cut out all carbs and milk products and I'll bet this will help

DH is not unhealthy though! Hes got more energy, slimmer, healthy bmi, that wasn't the situation when we met, and no I've not brainwashed him, and yes it is important to me. Its not a fad, I couldn't be in a relationship with someone with totally opposing views on something that some fundamental to me, and whether people can understand that or not doesnt change my conviction about using animals in such a horrific way.

The looking through the bin isn't a regular occurrence, and i do trust him, i was looking for takeaway wrappers actually! 😒

Yes it was a big deal at my sisters but what was i supposed to do when he didn't admit to it?! And its why i thought he should apologise and own up to it, but apparently i get shot down for that too as im humiliating him! I cant win. They thought my sister's kid had had an accident and took them out to check, no one was shouting and screaming, but yes it did ruin the meal sadly as the smell was so bad.

Essentially it boils down to a choice:
Would you rather:

• keep the man, but accept her might not be vegan
• keep the man, and he stay vegan but accept that he'll do horrific stinky farts
• dump him.

I feel very sorry for him
And yes, it is controlling (and weird) whether you were going through the bins looking for evidence of meat or take away. If your are so sure he shares your views, why the need to look? If you aren't sure he shares your views, shouldn't it be his own choice?

Having more energy, being slimmer and having a low bmi does not alter the fact that a drastic change to a vegan diet has potentially affected his digestive health. They are separate issues.

And making him ring to apologise is awful behaviour, you've not taken into account how humiliated he felt. Just how you felt about it and what you thought shoukd happen.

He probably has SIBO. Treat under guidance of a nutritionist, but can start with bio care oregano complex and probiotics. Cut out dairy.

The poor guy. He's not doing it deliberately and has looked into many ways of trying to fix it.

I would suggest the diet may be the cause. Vegan or vegetarian diets don't agree with everyone. Ethically it may be ideal to you to be vegan, but surely not at the cost of your husband's physical and mental health.

Let him eat meat!

I recommend looking into Gut and Psychology syndrome. His digestive system is completely out of balance. Physical and mental health is affected by the microbiological environment n the gut. There's a diet recommended to fixit.

www.gaps.me/gaps-diet.php

I couldn't be in a relationship with someone with totally opposing views on something that some fundamental to me, and whether people can understand that or not doesnt change my conviction about using animals in such a horrific way.

The looking through the bin isn't a regular occurrence, and i do trust him, i was looking for takeaway wrappers actually!

No, you were very clear you were suspicious specifically about meat. You said:

Im worried he's secretly eating meat somehow but cant find any evidence of covert meat eating so no idea if this is causing it.

Your thinking re health seems strange. You keep saying he's healthy - you've just said "DH is not unhealthy though!" but if his farts are so foul smelling and frequent that they're causing him embarrassment and making you feel ill, then physically something is wrong. There's a health issue at play.

You're so defensive of his decision to join you in being vegan that you seem completely unwilling to acknowledge that his diet is likely the major cause, especially as it's got worse since he adopted that diet.

So what are you going to do?

Would you seriously sooner split up with your husband because his vegan diet makes his farts unbearable, than just let him eat a non-vegan diet?

You sound a little bit unhinged tbh, although you are not the first person I know of to put vegan principles above absolutely all else.